Comic Coverage

Marvel's Mighty (and Modest) Monsters!

Before Marvel Comics entered the superhero genre with The Fantastic Four in 1961, they published a seemingly endless parade of giant monster stories...featuring hordes of blunt-fingered, gape-mouthed Kirby creatures.

As a founding member of the Fantastic Four, the Thing served as sort of a "bridge" between Marvel's monster-centric past and its superhero future.  You see, not only did the Thing echo the frightening appearance of his sci-fi predecessors, but their affinity for underwear as well!

That's right...you heard me.  Underwear!

Despite their status as giant radiation-spawned behemoths or rampaging alien conquerors, a surprising number of Marvel Monsters demonstrated a remarkable sense of modesty by wearing huge briefs (or boxers) over their unmentionable regions.

Why?  Who knows...I could take the easy route and assume the Comics Code Authority insisted that a monster who walked like a man should also dress like one.  My theory?  Simply this: Jack Kirby, Steve Ditko and Stan Lee probably just got a kick out of 200 ft. tall monsters running around in their underwear.

UPDATE:

Thanks to one of my ever-alert readers, it seems I've missed a few proud members of the Modesty Monsters!  Once I found out about Goo-Gam (thanks, Bret!), that quickly lead me to his father GOOM.  While I was chasing down those two guys, Moomba and Zzutak popped up as well!  Here they are...

If anyone else knows of any Underwear Monsters I've missed, leave a comment or shoot me an email! There must be a complete accounting of these unique creatures!

Know Your Marvel Monsters: GROOT

First Appearance: Tales to Astonish #13 (1960) (click on the cover image for a larger view)

Occupation: Alleged monarch of Planet X

Height: 30 feet

Abilities: Can animate Earth trees to do his bidding • Absorbs nourishment from wooden objects

Notable Quote: "Fool--none can withstand the mighty Groot!  You are doomed!  You and your town shall perish!" (Tales to Astonish #13)

Political Affiliation: Green Party

Turn-Ons: Crowds of terrified humans running before him • Grandiose monologuing • Scrabble®

Turn-Offs: Idealistic young scientists who devise 11th hour solutions to defeat him • People confusing him with Gruto, Creature from Nowhere • Termites.

Know Your Marvel Monsters: ORRGO

First Appearance: Strange Tales #90 (1961)
(click on the cover image for a larger view)

Occupation: Volunteer representative of a hostile alien race sent to conquer Earth. Think "completely evil version of the Peace Corps".

Height: 25 feet

Abilities: Can alter reality to suit his wishes; levitate entire cities; reconfigure atomic structures; animate inanimate objects; mass hypnotism; excellent singing voice.

History: Orrgo began his invasion of Earth by appearing at a circus and immediately claiming the planet for his alien race.  After demonstrating his vast reality-alterning powers and hypnotizing all of humanity, a weary Orrgo returned to the circus and fell asleep.  While he slept, an escaped (and non-hypnotized) gorilla named Jo-Jo struck Orrgo in the head, killing him instantly.  When Orrgo's home planet learned of his ignominious end, they canceled all plans to invade Earth.

Noteable Quotes: "HOOOOFFFF!" (in response to Jo-Jo's fatal head-strike)

Turn-Ons: Delicious circus performers • Industrial strength Visine®
• Threatening entire planetary populations via mental telepathy

Turn-Offs: Circus clowns • Jo-Jo the Gorilla • Rainy days and Mondays

Not to be confused with Orogo, the robotic "Nightmare
from Outer Space" (Journey Into Mystery #57, 1960).

Know Your Marvel Monsters: SHAGG

First Appearance: Journey Into Mystery #59 (1960)
(click on Shagg for a monster-size view)

Occupation: A robot warrior awaiting orders to attack mankind while disguised as the ancient Egyptian Sphinx statue.

Size: 241 feet long, 66 feet high (the actual size of the Sphinx).

Abilities: In addition to super-strength and invulnerability, Shagg could also manipulate "Cosmo-Gamma Electro-Magnetic waves" to reconfigure reality.

History: Unwittingly activated by an archaeologist exploring the Sphinx, Shagg came to life and set out on his pre-programmed mission of destruction.  After trashing Paris and New York, the archaeologist explained that his activation was an accident and not part of his planet's invasion plan. Shagg, realizing he could not conquer a nuclear-armed Earth alone, used his matter reconfiguration powers to repair the damage and return to his inert Sphinx-state.

Noteable Quotes: "Shagg lives again! Earth is doomed!"

Turn-Ons: Destroying Paris • Destroying New York • Wielding Cosmo-Gamma Electro-Magnetic waves

Turn-Offs: Austin Powers

Know Your Marvel Monsters: THE SCARECROW

First Appearance: Strange Tales #81 (1961)
(click on the cover image for a larger view)

Occupation: Social justice advocate

Height: 100 feet

Abilities: Sentience and speech; Impressive lumbering skills; Ability to grow to giant size; Building-demolishing strength.

History: When an atomic explosion's "Delta Rays" struck a farmer's field, their radiation caused a scarecrow posted in the field to come to life. Growing to immense size, the Scarecrow plodded its way through town to the office of Jarvis Cragstone, a greedy banker who'd foreclosed on the farmer's land. Once the creature intimidated Cragstone into returning the farmer's money, the slowly-shrinking scarecrow shambled back to the homeless farmer, secretly left him the sack of money, and returned to its lifeless state.

The animated Scarecrow plods toward town in Strange Tales #81. Note how the creature's rampage nearly caused Bobby to lose his precious comic books!

Noteable Quotes: "I am your nemesis, mortal! Look upon me and tremble! Feel the awesome power of the Strawman!"

Turn-Ons: Delta Rays • Farmer Albert Smith and his wife Martha • John Mellencamp's 1985 hit song "Rain on the Scarecrow"

Turn-Offs: Crows • The Man • Matches

Know Your Marvel Monsters: MOOMBA

First Appearance: Tales to Astonish #23 (1961)
(click on Moomba for a monster-size view)

Occupation: The ruler of a planet populated by wooden beings.

Not to be confused with: Groot, the ruler of a planet populated by wooden beings.

Height: 20 ft.

Powers and Abilities: Moomba was composed of bulletproof wood and could generate "ultra-frequency energy" that could bring tiny African totem statues to life. He could also fly through space and manipulate humanity's collective memory.

History:In addition to ruling a race of wooden creatures, Moomba was also an advance scout who came to prepare Earth for an invasion. His plan? Secretly placing wooden totem sculptures around the world which would come to life and attack at his command! After unleashing his tiny soldiers and successfully taking over the world, an African shaman named Katu created a powerful potion that drove Moomba and his totem army from Earth....but not before Moomba erased all memory of his existence from the minds of humanity.

Noteable Quotes: "On the world from which I come, all life is made of wood."

Turn-Ons: Australia's annual Moomba Waterfest • Pier One Imports • Formby's Almond Lustre® Wood Polish

Turn-Offs: People calling him "Moonba", "Moobah, "Obama", or "Woody"

Know Your Marvel Monsters: The Hulk

First Appearance: Journey Into Mystery #62 (1960) 

(click on the Hulk for a monster-size view)

Occupation: Intergalactic criminal

Height: 15 ft.

Powers and Abilities: In addition to his superhuman strength and giant size, the Hulk possessed the power of telepathy, telekinesis, and mass hypnosis.

History: Escaping from an intergalactic prison, the Hulk's malfunctioning spaceship crash-landed on Earth. Found and revived by electrician Joe Harper, the Hulk showed his gratitude by overpowering the human and placing the entire world under his hypnotic control (except for Joe). As hypnotized humans built the Hulk a new spaceship, the wily Joe used his electronics prowess to sabotage the spaceship, sending a helpless Hulk into orbit around the sun. The hypnotic effect on Earth's population slowly wore off, leaving only Joe Harper to remember what happened.

Ah, but the story doesn't end there! In a rare Monster Age sequel, the Hulk returned to Earth four issues later for a rematch with arch-enemy Joe Harper.  As the Hulk attempted to disintegrate Joe with his mental powers, the quick-thinking electrician reflected the energy back toward the Hulk with a mirror, causing the alien to dissolve.

Noteable Quotes: "Fool! You have no choice! You must obey me! No living thing can defy the living Hulk!"

Turn-Ons: Kapalua Pineapple Botanical hair shampoo

Turn-Offs: The green-skinned upstart who stole his name, forcing him to be known as "Xemnu, the Living Titan" for his occasional appearances in the modern, post-monster Marvel universe.

Know Your Marvel Monsters: SPRAGG!

First Appearance: Journey Into Mystery #68 (1961)

Occupation: Sentient Transylvanian hill bent on world domination

History: When a race of intergalactic spores fell to Earth, the planet's gravity pulled them into its molten core. They eventually developed mental powers such as telekineis, which they used to create earthquakes (so that's where earthquakes come from)! One of these earthquakes accidentally sent a spore-being named Spragg to the Earth's surface near Transylvania, where he immediately enslaved an entire village to build a power-enhancing dynamo around him. 

Meanwhile, a vacationing geologist named Dr. Bob Robertson realized his metal miner's helmet made him immune to Spragg's mental control...which allowed him to secretly (and by himself!) convert Spragg's dynamo into a giant rocket platform. Believing he was mentally activating his power dynamo, Spragg inadvertently rocketed himself into space, only to return several years later to battle the She-Hulk (and an elderly Bob Robertson).

Powers and Abilities: Spragg could animate and control the rock around him, which could be used to create multiple duplicates of himself (including a humanoid form), rock towers, and vast holes in the ground. Spragg also possesses telepathic powers such as mass-hypnosis and mind control. As demonstrated by Robertson's helmet, a major weakness of Spragg's was steel.

Not to be confused with:

Shagg, a giant robot warrior 

disguised as the Sphinx.

OR

EGO, the Living Planet.

How to Stop an Alien Invasion

Things were so much easier in the old days.

Unlike the recent Secret Invasion by the Skrulls, which required an 8-part series and multiple tie-ins to defeat, it didn't take much to repel the first invasion of the shape-changing aliens back in Fantastic Four #2 (1962).

Posing as the defeated Skrull agents who'd been impersonating them, the Fantastic Four visited the Skrull mothership to convince its commander to call off the invasion. What did ultra-genius Reed Richards use to strike fear into the Skrulls?  Expose them to the common cold virus? Show them a mighty super-weapon of his own invention? A giant projected illusion of Earth's spaceship armada? The Ultimate Nullifier?!!?

Nope. He used panels from sci-fi comic books...specifically from titles Marvel was still publishing!

(click on the panels for a larger view)

 

A number of questions and observations come to mind:

1. Whose comic books were those, anyway? You could assume they belonged to young Johnny Storm (who's just a teenager at this point in time), but the fact that Reed was even aware of the images suggests the comics might have been his!  Personally, I think Ben Grimm was comic book reader, since the vaguely subliminal nature of each F.F. member's powers suggests Ben was familiar with the grotesque array of Marvel Monsters, and may have,in effect, become one when the cosmic rays did their thing. Sue? Come on...girls don't read comics (KIDDING!!!). As you can see from the final panel, she seemed more concerned about her hair than silly old comics, anyway.

2. How do you get promoted to the position of Skrull Armada Commander without being able to tell the difference between drawings and photos?

3.  Those are some big, honkin' comic book panels Reed "clipped".

4.  So, which (if any) actual comics were those images taken from? Using my vast Marvel Monster knowledge (and the Grand Comics Database), I didn't see any Journey Into Mystery covers that matched Reed's monster images...but several Strange Tales and Tales to Astonish covers did have some candidates:

The Red Monsters: These guys seem to be a combination of Rommbu from Tales to Astonish #19 (1961) and one of the red "Space Beasts" from the cover of Tales to Astonish #29...although the latter wasn't published until March of '62 (but may have been on the drawing board).

 

The Giant Ants: The closest thing I could find to a giant ant army were the covers of Strange Tales #73 (1960), featuring Grottu, King of the Insects or Krang the Unbelievable from Tales to Astonish #14 (1960)... although neither of them appear to be as large as the ants in Reed's clipped panel.

 

The Orbiting Space Mine: I got nothin'...though I have to say, I hope somebody at the Pentagon gives it some thought.


5. How did the Fantastic Four resist bursting out into loud, bawdy laughter at the toolish idiocy of the Skrull commander? Their poker faces in the final panel are amazing!

6. Despite the jaw-dropping desperation of Reed's last-ditch ploy, it nonetheless demonstrates one of the many practical uses for comic books (besides scaring off potential friends): Alien Invasion Preventer! Keep a few handy just in case!

Know Your Marvel Monsters: The Two-Headed Thing!

First Appearance: 

Strange Tales #95 (1962)

Occupation: Freak of nature

History: Tunneling up from the Earth's core, the Two-Headed Thing used its shape-changing ability to mimic a tree and an alligator. While attempting to duplicate the form of an escaped prisoner, the Two-Headed Thing was struck by lightning and killed.

Powers and Abilities: In addition to his ability to tunnel through solid rock and communicate telepathically, the Two-Headed Thing could also alter its size, shape, and color to imitate any object.

Not to be confused with: the early version of the (one-headed) Thing or The Thing With Two Heads.