Comic Coverage

Happy Halloween

Cover to Cover: Stars & Stripes (and Capes) Forever!

On the heels of the United States elections, not to mention the November 11th commemoration of Veteran's Day, I thought it would be fitting to run a patriotic Cover to Cover column I originally wrote this past summer for Independence Day.  Enjoy....and God Bless our veterans!

Ever since the birth of the United States in 1776, its people have devised countless ways to express their patriotism.  Some of these expressions are noble and dignified…

 

…while others…not so much.

Similarly, comic book covers have a long history of patriotic sentiment, with many of them easily qualifying as “noble and dignified”...

…while other covers…..well, let’s just say they fall into an entirely different category.

As great as the more noble covers are, I wanted to dig a little deeper to find patriotic covers that stray off the beaten path.  In other words, covers that better represented the endearingly surreal world of superhero comics.

Happy Thanksgiving!

The Flash, Wonder Woman and Green Lantern continue the grand tradition of whimsical Golden Age covers by joining forces against a hapless turkey. Judging from the turkey's determined look, he's not going down without a fight.

Comics Calvacade #18 (1947)

 

Despite the turkey's fighting spirit, the trio accomplished their grim task, as you can see from the Justice Society of America meeting later that day.

A slightly "enhanced" All Star Comics #3 (1940)

Have a Happy Thanksgiving...and "thanks" for stopping by!

Mission Impossible: Christmas Shopping for Geeks

While jotting a few things down for a Christmas wish list, it occured to me that we comic book/sci-fi/fantasy geek types are a difficult lot to shop for.  Who among us hasn't gotten the bewildered look, the Mr. Spock eyebrow-raise, or the exasperated "Where the heck am I going to find THAT?" question from confused friends and family?

Yes, we are particular.  Yes, we like maddeningly obscure stuff.  In short, Christmas shopping for us is a major world-class drag.  I admit it. It's in this spirit of clarity and contrition that I offer this cartoon:

UPDATE: Want this cartoon on a shirt or some other cool stuff? Click here to visit my Geek Christmas Cafepress store. There's not too many days left for you to get your gifts by Christmas time, so check it out today!

Cover to Cover: Have Yourself a SUPERHERO Christmas...

The power of American pop culture has worked its delightfully skewed magic upon a whole host of traditions and institutions. Transforming the transcendent to tacky and the solemn to silly, holidays like Christmas have become the venue of Norelco-driving Santas, caroling Star Wars characters and prancing Victoria’s Secret models.  It’s within this surreal alternate universe that even comic book superheroes gather to celebrate Christmas (or its generic equivalent “the holidays”) in their own inimitable style.

One of the earliest examples appeared on Comic Cavalcade #9 (1944), where Flash, Wonder Woman and Green Lantern are either leaving presents for a deserving child….or stealing them!

Cover to Cover: Here Comes Santa Claus!

“When, what to my wondering
eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.”

–The Night Before Christmas, by Clement Clarke Moore

Conspicuously missing from my recent survey of Christmas covers was Santa Claus, the beloved harbinger of Christmas whose mythic stature easily outranks the relative “rookie” folklore status of the superhero.  Yet, despite Santa’s towering legend, his appearances with superheroes have always felt natural, as if he lived only a few blocks away in the public’s collective imagination. 

This is especially true of his appearances in simpler, less cynical times…such as the cover of Comic Cavalcade #5 (1943), where a Jabba The Hutt-sized Santa laughs it up with Green Lantern, the Flash and Wonder Woman (the permanent stars of the title).  Though they couldn’t come from more disparate backgrounds, Santa and the colorfully costumed threesome just seem right together, don’t they?

Happy New Year!

So I'm watching my annual twelve minutes of the Tournament of Roses Parade, and was lucky enough to catch this year's newest float, sponsored by the gang at Pasadena's Cosmic Crypt comic shop.   

Happy New Year!

Valentine's Day...GALACTUS Style!

With Valentine's Day just around the corner, the Vermont Teddy Bear Company seems to be pulling out all the stops to be "the Creative Alternative to Flowers".  Customers can choose from a dizzying array of custom-made teddy bears, each with their own theme and meticulously detailed costume.

However, after visiting their site earlier today (for...uh....research, of course), I noted the Vermont Teddy Bear Company seems to have overlooked a potentially huge niche market.  That niche market is, of course, comic book fans!

Enough with the Cupid Bears and Pirate Bears!

Instead, wish your Geeky Significant Other a Happy Valentine's Day with

What says "I Love You" more than a cute-n-cuddly Devourer of Worlds?

Answer:  ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

Spider-Man's Guide to Romance

Part of the appeal of Spider-Man has always been his status as an "everyman" character, a lovable loser we can all identify with at times. Unlike the superheroes who preceded him, he didn't have to pretend to be a nerd.....he was a nerd!  As such, Peter Parker's awkward social skills got him into a number of embarrassing situations early in his career, but few were as embarrassing as his ham-handed approach to impressing the ladies.

So, if you're still searching for that Special Someone to spend Valentine's Day with, be sure to completely ignore the advice of:

As part of the special "Tribute to Teen-Agers" issue of The Amazing Spider-Man #8 (1964), Spider-Man and his rival The Human Torch (a.k.a. Johnny Storm) are busy making the local New York "teen scene" (click on the cover for a larger view).  It should be noted that this particular story featured a rare collaboration of Marvel "Founding Fathers" Jack Kirby (pencils) and Steve Ditko (inks), bringing an interesting "blended authenticity" to the artwork that neither man would have been able to bring on his own (since Ditko's Fantastic Four and Kirby's solo Spider-Man interpretation had much to be desired).

But I digress.

As the story opens, we see Johnny Storm pulling up and turning heads in his fancy 1964 Corvette Sting Ray, as a nearby Spider-Man marinades in jealousy.  As Johnny steps inside to impress the girls with some flame tricks and bathe them in infra-red energy (woah!), Spider-Man decides to join in the fun by weaving a "little" web-bat with his webbing. 

I know it, you know it...we all know it.  This can't end well.

(click on the panels for a larger view)

As anyone with even a molecule of social aptitude could have predicted, the grotesque web bat didn't go over especially well with the teeny bopper crowd.

Naturally, the hot-headed Human Torch was busting for a fight with Spider-Man, so he chased him to a nearby beach for a duel of flame and web-based tricks.  A few pages later, the rest of the Fantastic Four suddenly appeared to convince the tempestuous teenagers to call a truce...which only seemed to make Spider-Man even more ornery.

What's this?  Sue Storm making an undeniable pass at Spider-Man?  Yes, Sue and Reed Richards were not yet married at this point, but still...Sue's very forward behavior introduced some unexpected controversy (not to mention hotness) to the Silver Age of Marvel Comics.

Sue's slinky moves obviously had a calming effect on Spider-Man, as webhead made a hasty exit...but not before insulting three quarters of the world famous quartet.

However, for the fair Sue Storm, Spider-Man left the ultimate awkward expression of geek-superhero affection:  a sticky web valentine in the sand!

Happily, Peter Parker went on to develop a set of reasonably competent social skills, ultimately marrying super-model Mary Jane Watson.  Not too bad for a guy who used to think bats and hearts made of webbing were a one-way ticket to Girlsville.

Cover to Cover: Love Is In The Air!

The Happiness and Heartaches of Superhero Romance!

When it comes to matters of love and romance, only the Immortal Bard
can say it best. No, not William Shakespeare, but the late, great Barry White.

Take it away, Barry:

Thanks, Barry.

Now that the deep-voiced crooner has set the proper mood, it’s time to pour some wine, pull up a bearskin rug and swoon over some superhero romance covers.

Although comic book covers are normally the place for heated battles, villainous schemes or zany transformations, they’ve also been known to feature the occasional romantic interlude…as Cupid’s arrows compel busy crime fighters to take a break and experience the finer things in life.

Our first love connection harkens back to the melodramatic romance comics of decades past. Captain America #44 (2001) finds the two lovebirds secretly fretting over their relationship.  Cap/Steve wonders if the lovely Connie Ferrari will accept him for who he is, while Connie can't decide which identity she's really in love with. And why Cap is only wearing half a mask.

Presidential Coverage

How does one properly celebrate the birthdays of George Washington and Abraham Lincoln, two of America's most beloved Presidents? 

True, half-price mattress sales and yet another vacation day for government workers are the traditional ways we celebrate these remarkable gentlemen...but this year, superhero comic books add their unique voice to the chorus of deeply moving tributes:

A hulking, 9 foot George Washington from Hit Comics #44 (1947) and the giant Lincoln Statue attack robot from Captain America #222 (1978) combine to create a patriotic salute no mattress savings or closed Department of Motor Vehicles could ever hope to equal...much less surpass.

So here's to you, George and Abe...Happy Birthday!

Gone Fishin'

Tomorrow, May 12th, marks the fishing season opener here in Minnesota. 

Traditionally (and curiously) slated for the same weekend as Mother's Day, Minnesotans load up their boats, campers, fishing equipment and coolers and hit one of our 10,000-plus lakes.  As you can see from the cover of Comic Cavalcade #21 (1947), even A-list superheroes love fishing in the great Northland...

How would I know they're fishing in Minnesota?   
Well, imagine my surprise when reading a story in
Flash Comics #7 (1940) and coming across this panel...

But that wasn't all!  Later in the story, Flash
even refers to my good ol' hometown of Duluth!

Superheroes in New York or Los Angeles? 
No big deal...but Duluth?  Not likely....making
Jay's brief Golden Age visit to the Upper Midwest
all the more surprising.

So, with Jay's earlier Minnesota visit established, it's no surprise that he'd want to return with his closest friends for some well-deserved rest and relaxation.

Comic Book Life Lessons: Mother's Day Edition

Happy Mother's Day!

"Click here for more Comic Book Life Lessons!"

Always Remember

With as much time and pixel space as I devote to goofy pretend heroes, my true and abiding heroes will always be United States soldiers.  Without them, I wouldn't be free...simple as that. 

My eternal gratitude to those who've served and continue to serve our great country and the cause of Freedom.

In honor of Memorial Day, consider a donation to the Injured Marine Semper Fi Fund, which does a fantastic job of providing financial assistance to injured Marines and their families.

Comic Book Life Lessons: Father's Day Edition

Happy Father's Day!

"Click here for more Comic Book Life Lessons!"

YouTube Theatre: Pistol-Packin' Cap!

It's the long 4th of July holiday weekend, and that can mean only one thing:  Lazy Blogging! 

Sure, I'll have something of substance for you on Tuesday, but for today, I think I'll put the burgers on the grill and let this trailer for Republic's Return of Captain America serial (1944) entertain you while simultaneously whipping you up into a patriotic frenzy.

That is, as patriotic a frenzy as a chubby, pistol-packing Captain America with no shield or mask-wings, who isn't Steve Rogers but "Grant Gardner, crusading District Attorney" can whip you into.

Cover to Cover: You Say You Want a Revolution

Superheroes Catch the Spirit of '76

More than two centuries gone, their names are still familiar: George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, Patrick Henry, James Madison and many others…all patriotic heroes of the great American Revolution.

However, there have been other patriots whose names you’ve never seen in a history book or on a Washington D.C. monument, but were just as dedicated in their fight for liberty and sweet freedom.  These, of course, were the proud ranks of costumed superheroes that either lived in, visited, or were mystically connected to the dawning years of the United States of America!

Of the heroes who called the late 1700’s their home, one of the most prominent was DC’s frontier adventurer Tom Hawk.  “Tomahawk”, as he became known, lead a fighting force nicknamed “The Rangers”, composed of volunteers from all over the nascent United States.  They spent the Revolutionary War years fighting British forces….that is, when they weren’t busy with dinosaur-riding cavemen, giant tree creatures, or alien Indian chiefs.

Super Neighbors

Every summer our neighborhood families put together a block party, usually based around some kind of theme. As you'd expect, everyone has a blast as we catch up on what everyone's been up to, play some games, eat some really good food, have a beverage or two, then gab around the fire until it's way past our bedtimes. 

This year, some of the neighborhood kids took over the planning from the adults (we were only too happy to relinquish it), and went with a comic book superhero theme (I swear I didn't talk them into it). Taking place this past Saturday, we were encouraged to come in costume, but...because it was summer and not quite Halloween, the costumes were on the modest side.  In fact, my family and I showed up wearing only Superman shirts (from dad's surplus of Superman attire).  Other neighbors showed up with some really funny stuff, my favorite of which was my neighbor Jeff dressed as "The Powernap", essentially a guy wrapped in a blanket wearing a pair of eye blinders (you can see him pictured below).

The kids even planned a "superhero trivia" game, which prompted all of my neighbors to beg for me to be on their teams (since everyone knew I was the neighborhood comic book geek).  Gee...so that's what it feels like to be a ringer!  So...who won?  Why, the MY TEAM, of course!  Heh.

Anyway, here's my family and I as The Super Neighbors (I'm the one with the dorky lightning bolts embarrassing the heck out of my teenagers).

Plus a few more of our nutty neighbors:

Obviously (and once again) a fun time was had by all.

Lil' Spidey Hits the Minnesota State Fair

As I've said before, the Minnesota State Fair seems to be a natural hang-out for the super-folk. This year, it looks like Lil' Spidey (a.k.a. Aiden Lee) had a fine time hitting the high swings and the fun house. Click here to see more of Spidey's State Fair adventures, courtesy of the St. Paul Pioneer Press website.

Friday Night Fights: Uncle Sam's Righteous Vandalism!

During my ongoing survey of the legendary JLA & JSA team-ups, I've come across some pretty spectacular fight scenes.

With all of that multiple-earth mayhem to chose from, the scene that just seemed right for the All-American Labor Day Weekend featured the personification of America itself:  Uncle Sam!

Taken from Justice League of America #108 (1973), the JLA & JSA are helping Uncle Sam and his Freedom Fighters liberate Earth-X from Nazi rule.  Breaking into smaller squads, the heroes track down and destroy Nazi mind-control machines hidden in various locations across the planet. In this chapter, Uncle Sam, Black Condor, Sandman and the Elongated Man arrive at a twisted version of Mount Rushmore, which includes a bust of the hated Adolph Hitler!

After making short work of the Nazi guards, Elongated Man deduces that the mind-control machinery is actually located within the Hitler bust itself...which was magic to Uncle Sam's ears (and fists).

After a quick assist from E.M., it's Uncle Sam with the windup... AND THE PITCH!...completely obliterating the granite visage of Herr Schickelgruber and the hidden mind-control device.

GOD BLESS AMERICA...AND BAHLACTUS!

The Blog of Horror....DAY ONE!

As we slide into October, I thought it would be fun to devote most of this month's blogging to the creepier side of comics.  Rest assured, not everything I do during October is going to be Halloween-oriented (such as my coverage of the Minnesota Fall-Con, Oct. 6-7), but I'll definitely be putting a Halloween spin on many of the regular Comic Coverage features, along with some fun new stuff.  Oh, and since last year's Bizarro Justice League went over pretty well, I think that calls for the Second Annual Bizarro Super-Team Challenge, don't you?

Well, to kick off the month, I thought I'd pan for a Gold Nugget in Quality Comics' Out of the Night #5 (1952), but to my surprise, the flat-out scariest part of the entire issue wasn't in any of the stories...but on the back cover!

In an ad for Uncle Bernie's Fun Shop (Bernie was a little on the sinister side himself), I spotted two items that couldn't have come from anywhere but the DEVIL'S TOYSHOP...compelling me to scream:

I don't know what it is about dolls (or mannequins, their eerie grown-up  cousins), but they've always been pretty high on the creep-out scale for me.  It's usually the old-fashioned glassy-eyed girl dolls and the eternally-bizarre ventriloquist dolls that really get my skin crawling...and here they both are in a single ad.

The first of our Demonic Duo is the terrifying GINGER (click on the image for a larger view...if you dare)!  From the hell-glow around the word "Ginger", to that sinister stare...with those tiny hands raised and ready to scratch, is this really the "perfect playmate for the Junior Mother"?

And what's this about "Wonderskin"?  (shiver)

Next up is the HAPPY THE COWBOY nightmare dispenser...and, yes, he IS smoking a gigantic cigarette (click on the image if you don't believe me)! 

If there's anything more unsettling than a ventriloquist doll (a species long known for its wide-eyed malevolence), it's a ventriloquist doll with a heater hanging out of its plastic rictus-grin.  No doubt countless young lads of the early 50's awoke in the middle of the night to see Happy's silhouette outlined against the moon-lit window...with the orange glow of his lit cigarette dimly illuminating his unblinking gaze....accompanied by a soft, creaky-jawed chuckle.

POLL: Who Should Join the Bizarro Avengers?

Last October, my voting campaign to form a Bizarro Justice League turned out to be such a popular feature, the decision to do a sequel was an obvious no-brainer.

However, since last year's vote focused on the DC Comics pantheon of characters, let's switch this year's to Marvel Comics, shall we?  Yeah, I know...Bizarro is kind of a DC thing, but in the great tradition of Bizarro disorder and illogic...who cares?  Now....let's get to it!

Here's the deal:  I've scoured the dregs of internet photo sites to track down some of the world's worst superheroes.  They're not necessarily the worst costumes (since some of them are actually quite good), but let's just say the total effect isn't exactly "super-heroic".

Then, every three or four days through October, you'll get to vote on a different character category, picking who you believe deserves to be a member of:

The contestant in each character group who gets the highest number of votes by Monday, October 29th will make the cut....and join the final line-up of the Bizarro Avengers on Halloween Day!

Which Marvel characters will you be voting for?  Well, to kick things off, you'll be casting your ballot for Bizarro Thor!  Take a look at the contestants in the gallery below (if you dare), then click HERE to vote for your favorite.  Er...I mean least favorite (man, this Bizarro logic can get confusing)!

As for the other characters? Stay tuned!

Cover to Cover: Whistling Past the Graveyard

The Surreal Cemeteries of Superhero Comics

Counter to their gloomy reputation, cemeteries here in the real world are usually well-maintained havens of peaceful contemplation. Not so in the world of superhero comics, where cemeteries are routinely the sites for supervillain attacks, impromptu resurrections, and guilt-riven superheroes shouting anguished vows to the heavens.

The latter category is by far the most common, since guilty brooding has been a staple of superhero comics from the very beginning!  In fact, the two-page origin in Superman #1 (1939) sets the precedent with a panel of Clark in Momentous Decision Mode while visiting the graves of his (as yet unnamed) foster parents.

Nearly fifty years later, on the cover of Adventures of Superman #444 (1988), we find Superman still making Great Vows and Resolutions at the graves of the Kents, this time the foster parents of an alternate Earth's Superboy.

POLL: Choose Bizarro Scarlet Witch!

As the voting continues for Bizarro Thor and Bizarro Iron-Man, it's time to turn our attention to the SCARLET WITCH, the first female contestant in my Bizarro team polls (last year's Bizarro Justice League was All-Dude).

As you can see below, I've compiled the most...er..."lovely" Scarlet Witches I could find across the vast wasteland of the internet.  Look 'em over, then click HERE to vote for which contestant you think deserves the title Bizarro Scarlet Witch.  The one with the most votes by October 29th will be announced on Halloween Day with the rest of the Bizarro Avengers!

Cover to Cover: Encounters With The Count

Superheroes Vs. Dracula!

"My revenge has just begun! I spread it
over centuries and time is on my side."

–Count Dracula (from chapter 23 of Bram Stoker’s Dracula)

Much like Mary Shelly’s immortal Frankenstein Monster, Bram Stoker’s equally renowned Dracula has grown far beyond his gothic literature roots and assumed a prominent place in our modern mythology.  With that status has come countless appearances of the Lord of Vampires across many decades, media and genres…including superhero comic books!

What better way to sink our teeth into Dracula’s history among the superfolk than with the granddaddy of superheroes himself?  The wonderful Garcia Lopez cover for Superman #344 (1980) featured a thoroughly freaked-out Superman getting attacked by Dracula and a truly chilling Frankenstein Monster.  Despite the Super Scaredy-Cat act on the cover, our hero was actually quite calm as he dealt with the two monsters in the story itself.  Dropping Franky with a super-punch, he then subdued Dracula in unique Superman fashion: by creating a miniature sun using only a hydrogen balloon!  Get it?  Sunlight?  Vampires?

POLL: Choose Bizarro Captain America!

As my recruitment drive for the Bizarro Avengers heads into its final week, it's time to pick another member. As the votes continue to pile up for Bizarro Thor, Bizarro Iron-Man, and Bizarro Scarlet Witch, let's add the legendary Bizarro Captain America to the mix!

Check out the gallery of goofy Captain Americas below, then click HERE to vote for the goofiest one!  The Cap with the most votes by the end of the day on October 29th will join the final Bizarro Avengers lineup on Halloween Day!

By the way, you can still vote for the previous three Bizarro Avengers (just follow the links above). Voting for all four members* comes to an end at midnight on Monday, October 29th...so you've got plenty of time to vote (or even campaign) for your favorite (or least favorite if you want to get technical)!

* I've heard rumors of a possible fifth Bizarro Avenger that could be asking for your vote some time before the weekend!  Stay tuned!

Cover to Cover: Bones of Contention

The Superhero Skeleton Crew!

Since the beginning of recorded history (and probably before), the human skeleton has been a powerful symbol for danger, disease, and our own inevitable deaths.  After all, the skeleton isn’t some fanciful creature of mythology or Hollywood fever dreams…it exists inside each and every one of us, waiting to be revealed by death and entropy. As such, our double-edged fear and fascination with this symbol of our mortality has found its way into countless forms of expression. From hieroglyphics to film, ancient talismans to Halloween party favors, and catacombs to comic books, skeletons have endured as a blunt reminder that time is fleeting for everyone…even seemingly death-proof superheroes!

Making that point perfectly clear was the cover of Batman #586 (2001), which portrayed a thoroughly dead Darknight Detective pinned to the wall by a pair of the Penguin’s deadly umbrellas.  Yes, I said “deadly umbrellas”…and no, the Batman didn’t actually die (the scene was only a dream of the Penguin’s).

POLL: Bizarro Avengers....WILD CARD!

With only a few days left to choose the goofiest of the goofy, the lamest of the lame, and the worst of the worst, there's still time for you to pick one final member of the Bizarro Avengers! 

However, instead of a single character represented by five contestants, this time around you'll be picking from five completely different characters...each one of them having been an Avenger at one time or another.  So, look over the five hapless heroes below and then click HERE to cast your vote.  The "wild card" contestant with the most votes by midnight, October 29th will join the other four Bizarro Avengers finalists on Halloween Day!

By the way:  Voting is still open for all
of the previous highly unimpressive
Bizarro Avenger candidates. 

Click on the links below to vote for:

1.  Bizarro Thor

2.  Bizarro Iron-Man

3.  Bizarro Scarlet Witch

4.  Bizarro Captain America

Bizarro Avengers: Every Vote Counts!

Well, here we are....October 29th already, and your last day to vote for who you think deserves the high (dis)honor of official Bizarro Avenger status! 

As I've explained ad nauseum for the past month, I've dredged the murky depths of the internet for some of the goofiest, dorkiest, and most profoundly unimpressive specimens of costumed Avengers you're likely to see, leaving it up to YOU to figure out which ones make the final cut to join the assembled Bizarro Avengers on Halloween Day.

If you haven't voted yet, click on the links for the character groups below to make your voice heard.  If not, hey...don't say I never asked your opinion on anything!

Click HERE to vote for BIZARRO THOR.

Click HERE to vote for BIZARRO IRON-MAN.

Click HERE to vote for BIZARRO SCARLET WITCH.

Click HERE to vote for BIZARRO CAPTAIN AMERICA.

Click HERE to vote for a "WILD CARD" BIZARRO AVENGER
(left to right: Hulk, Quicksilver, Spider-Man, Hawkeye, and Wolverine).

Twenty-five contestants, yet only FIVE will be
unworthy enough to be called...Bizarro Avenger!

Now get busy...and remember:

Tickle-Me Elmo Flash and Fat Floppy-Boots
Superman are counting on you!

Halloween Memories: "The Comic Book House"

Exactly thirty Halloweens ago, my friends and I strategically chose a new neighborhood for our Trick-Or-Treating campaign. Besides having far more houses to visit, that part of town was also more conspicuously wealthy than the neighborhoods we were used to.  Even as knuckleheaded kids, we were savvy enough to understand that Ritzier Houses = Better Candy.  Not only did the wealthy folks hand out more candy, but they'd occasionally blow our minds with FULL SIZE candy bars, not the stubby, ironically-named "fun size" candy bars.  No lame popcorn balls, apples or pennies from those Big Spenders!

Just when we thought it couldn't get much better than receiving full-size candy bars and (I swear) dollar bills, we knocked on the door of the Purple House, a large home whose eccentric owners had painted the exterior with a bright, retina-blasting purple.  What happened next is kind of a blur. The door opened...then (I think) a Heavenly chorus sang praises while a hand dropped a beautiful, glowing COMIC BOOK into each of our bags.  Not lame comics like Richie Rich or Archie, but real, honest-to-goodness superhero comics! Since all of us were avowed superhero comic book fans, you can imagine our joy and dumbfounded astonishment over receiving such an unexpected bounty.

Me?  I vividly remember getting Secret Society of Supervillains #5, which featured a clash between an army of DC's greatest heroes and villains.  In other words, a cosmic out-of-body experience for my eleven year-old self.

Once we all came back down to earth, my friends and I did what any kids would do in that situation:  we hastily rearranged and mix-matched our costumes to appear that we were entirely different kids and went back for more comics!  We probably didn't fool the Purple House dwellers at all, but they gave us more comics anyway.

Needless to say, from that time onward, the "Purple House" would then be known as "The Comic Book House".

So there you have it....my most fondly remembered Halloween night.  An embarrassing amount of candy, a little cash, and a couple of free comics.  I ask you: could life get any better?

This post brings a close to my month-long Blog of Horror celebration. I  hope you've enjoyed it as much as I've enjoyed planning it and putting it together.  Thanks to everyone who dropped by to vote on a poll or to offer a comment. Your feedback and participation really make my day!

Happy Halloween!

A Salute to Our Veterans

To help show your appreciation for our veterans and all they've done for our country, please consider a donation to Soldiers' Angels, a wonderful charity serving deployed soldiers, those in hospitals here at home, and military families in need.  Click on the banner below to find out more about Soldiers' Angels and to make a donation.

UnHappy Bizarro Thanksgiving!

Cover to Cover: Sidekicks Roasting on an Open Fire

The Terrifying Torture Tech of Timely Comics!

As we drift through the peaceful days of the Christmas season, it’s time to pour yourself a cup of hot cocoa, sit back in a cozy recliner, and watch the gently falling snow as you contemplate leering, sub-human Axis agents subjecting the assorted girl Fridays and boy sidekicks of World War II superheroes to extravagant torture devices.

That’s right…we’re taking a break from decking the halls to examine the gruesome torture chambers that were a common fixture of World War II comic book covers, particularly those of Marvel predecessor Timely Comics.  As everyone knows, the United States focused its full attention on beating the combined aggression of Nazi Germany, Imperial Japan, and Fascist Italy following our 1941 entry into WWII.  That meant that every aspect of American life was geared toward that end, including the covers of superhero comic books.  As a result, the former threats of gangsters or crooked union bosses soon made way for superheroes pounding the stuffing out of depraved (often sub-human) Axis forces and their terrifying array of death machines.

Though human decency (and possibly the Geneva Convention) prevents me from featuring every Nazi gulag gizmo or Japanese doohickey of depravity, the following covers should give you at least some idea of what our costumed champions and their hapless supporting cast members were up against.

WARNING and DISCLAIMER department:  If you’re the squeamish type or one of those sensitive souls who feel bad for Guantanamo inmates getting a little water splashed on ‘em, these covers probably aren’t for you.  Another thing to keep in mind is that I don’t in any way endorse the racial stereotyping that appeared in WWII era comics, so let’s not go there.

Now, before we get too far into the sadistic specifics, let’s first take a look at Marvel Mystery Comics #28 for the standard features of a comic book torture chamber:

A.  A Damsel and/or Sidekick in Distress.

B.  Easily identified bad guys, often broken into groups of:
     (1) Active torture participants or
     (2) A gallery of amused/perplexed/outraged observers. 
           Extra points for hoods or robes. 

C.  Conveniently labeled torture devices or harmful substances.

D.  A hero breaking in at the last possible moment to stop said
     torture devices or harmful substances.

E.  Arrogant overlord figure outraged over the hero’s intrusion.

F.  Random, poorly-aimed gunfire.

Of course, each cover varied in their use of these common features…and sometimes added variations of their own…

Superhero Christmas Cookies: A Self-Critique

As we do every year, my family and I made Christmas cookies earlier today...although this year I took a slightly different approach with my slab of cookie dough.  Instead of the usual Christmas tree, star, or snowman shapes, I thought I'd introduce a superheroic twist to the holiday goodies.

How'd it go?  Pretty well...though I've gotta say, cookie decorating is an imprecise art at best....a little like threading a needle while wearing boxing gloves.  Some of my superhero cookies worked out pretty well, while others...well...didn't.  Let's take a look at the results, accompanied by a healthy dose of self-critique (click on the cookies for a larger view):

1.  The Flash Symbol:  Simple enough, right?  Lightning bolt in a circle...no problem!  Well, that is, until the frosting tube decided to act up and blurp all over the place, making sharp corners virtually impossible.  Hindsight:  I probably should have used plain white sugar for the circle field behind the lightning bolt.  Still, I'm pretty happy with how it turned out.  Grade:  B-

2. The Superman "S" Shield:  Feeling pretty good about my Flash symbol, I thought I'd tackle the Big Enchilada. Once again, the frosting tube gave me all kinds of headaches, with the red frosting looking more like lumpy mashed potatoes than the smooth red frosting I'd envisioned.  But, despite the glitches, it looks okay.  Grade:  B

3.  The Green Lantern Symbol: After reasonable success with the Flash and Superman symbols, I was starting to get a little cocky.  "Is there NO DC superhero logo that I can't make into a cookie?"  Well, as it turned out...yes.  The Green Lantern Logo was a complete disaster.  Not only was the symbol off-center, but the unpredictable flow of the green frosting made this one a dreaded "eat it quick so nobody sees it" cookie.  Add to that the lame "green glow sugar sprinkles" around it, and I say...let's move on to number four.  Grade: F

4. The Bat Symbol:  Ahh...redemption!  After that pathetic Green Lantern symbol, the success of the Bat Symbol cookie provided me with the second wind I desperately needed to keep going.  By this point, I'd accepted the blotchiness of the frosting, so I didn't sweat the blunted ends of the wing points. 
Grade: B+

Knowing it wasn't likely I'd be able to pull off a decent Wonder Woman logo cookie, I turned my attention to the Marvel Comics side of the aisle.

5.  Iron-Man head:  Since he doesn't have a cool symbol, I went for the head shot....especially since the relative simplicity of Iron-Man's helmet lends itself well to the crude tools of the Christmas cookie trade.  Despite looking like the red portion is melting and his eyes and mouth looking like big black leeches (or turds), I think it looks okay. True, the Iron-Man movie people probably won't be offering me any merchandising deals, but hey...it looks like him.  Grade: B-

6.  Spider-Man Symbol:  Instead of the oval Spider-Man head shot, I thought taking the circular "Spider-Signal" approach would make it bit easier to attempt webbing. After connecting the first two "web strands" to the eyes, I realized I would have to pull the others back if I wanted the eyes to get the prominence they need.  Not entirely successful, but not a complete failure, either.  Grade: C

7. Thor's Hammer:  It was a toss up between Mjolnir and Thor's winged helmet...and the hammer obviously won out.  I'm not blown away by it, but I'm glad I tried it.  In hindsight, I probably should have done Captain America's shield instead. Grade: C

8.  The Thing:  At first, I thought I'd try doing the "4" in a circle logo of the Fantastic Four, but after the frustrating frosting experience with the Superman shield, I'm glad I decided against it.  The Thing was fun to make, since his head is made of such simple shapes.  The yellow-orange sugar matches his color close enough, and I thought the purple candies approximated his "ever-lovin' blue-eyed" look close enough.  A cookie even Aunt Petunia could love!  Grade: B

There you go.  Adventures in sugar cookie dough.  I hope you enjoyed looking at them as much as I did making (and eating) them.

Gold Nuggets: Deck the Halls (and Santa, too)!

The Obscure Adventures of Comics' Greatest Generation!

As nutty as things can get during the hustle and bustle of Christmas shopping, it doesn't come close to the madness experienced by Massey's Department Store customers back in Captain Marvel Adventures #19 (1943). In "The Phantom of the Department Store", Christmas shoppers were frightened away by a mysterious force that caused store merchandise to move and talk!

Young Billy Batson decided to investigate by transforming into his adult alter-ego Captain Marvel, who then went undercover as a Massey's store employee (click on the panels for a larger view).

Deducing the Phantom was using magnetism make objects move, Cap
foiled a number of his tricks before finally tracking down the shocking culprit...

OUCHIE!  After Cap drilled Pseudo-Santa into a
marble column, the mystery was finally revealed...

Atta boy, Billy!  If your Christmas wisdom wasn't enough to warm our hearts, that bland wreath hanging on the blank pink wall behind you certainly will.

Dr. Doom's SCARY SANTA Gallery!

"I am Victor Von Doom, arch-enemy of the Fantastic Four, inevitable Ruler of the World, and Despiser of All Things Christmas!

In fact, one of my greatest accomplishments is an anti-Christmas campaign I've christened "Operation Santa Scare".  You see, over the last several decades, I've planted countless department store Santas across the United States...Santas whose tattered and terrifying appearance traumatizes young children....forever scarring their perception of that obese toymaker and the insipid holiday he champions!  WhooHa Ha HAAAH!

Monitoring their efforts from my Latverian stronghold, I've assembled a small sampling of my "Scary Santa Squad" operatives for you to see in action. Look upon them, witless cattle, and DESPAIR!

1.  Ahh, yes...Agent L-77's piercing stare of zombie death!  His eyes grab your soul....and shake it to its metaphysical core!

2.  The perfect juxtaposition of innocence...and laser-focused malevolence!

3.  The whithered hands of Agent G-63 have the ability to absorb the raw fear energy from his terrorized young visitors...making him all the more powerful. 

Profiles in Villainy: The Kingpin

a.k.a. Wilson Fisk, the 6' 7", 450 lb. master
of New York's organized crime network.

Bitter enemy of both Spider-Man and Daredevil.

Lousy department store Santa.

Kingpin © Marvel Comics

Click here for more Profiles in Villainy!

Bizarro's Toybox: I'm Dreaming of a Black Sith-mas

Last Christmas, I came across some incredibly strange toys I consigned to Bizarro's Toybox, where the abnormal is normal, bad is good, and wish list toppers like Guitar Hero 3 are nowhere to be found.  Well, this year, it looks like I'll only have time for one visit to Bizarro's Toybox, so I'll try to make it extra-special.  In fact, instead of one unusual item, how about ten?

Okay, we all know about Darth Vader, right?  Principal bad guy from the Star Wars movies (the good ones), armored Sith Lord, evil father of Luke Skywalker, and pupil of the Dark Side of the Force?  Yeah, that guy.  Well, as someone who's got Darth Vader's helmet-face mask thingie on full display in his studio, it's safe to say I'm a big fan of the character (despite George Lucas making him into such a whiny putz for the prequels).  However, my enjoyment of the character usually doesn't extend to the hundreds (thousands?) of products featuring his likeness.  Oh, I can usually find something to admire in just about any Darth Vader product...but man, some of this stuff really crosses over to the Dark Side of licensed merchandising.  How about a Top Ten countdown featuring some of the darkest? (click on the images for a larger view)

10. A toddler size Darth Vader Costume:  What better costume to dress a happy, innocent toddler in than that of a conquering Sith Lord who actually murdered small children in Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith?  No thanks...I think we'll stick with Bob the Builder or Picachu and save the Vader look for the older kids.

9. The Darth Vader Night Light: On a similar note, what sort of parental thinking process is at work (or not) when a glowing Darth Vader head is brought in to calm a child's nighttime fears? "Shhhh....go to sleep, now.  Just look at that frightening, skull-like mask, and you'll feel all safe and snuggly..."

8.  "Duck Vader" Bath Toy: Moving from bedroom trauma to bathtub trauma, who needs rubber duckies when you can scare the dirt off toddlers and pre-schoolers with this glowing, Vader-esque duckie?

"Ducky Vader, you're the one
You make bath time lots of fun
Ducky Vader, I'm awfully fond of you
Woo woo be doo!"

7.  Hey, it's Lil' Vader, a cute, stubby little Vader aimed squarely at...you guessed it...pre-schoolers!  If the masked version of Lil' Vader (left) isn't enough to make them forget their potty training, imagine what the sunken eyes and pasty skin of the unmasked version will do!

6.  The Darth Vader inflatable backpack:  Finally moving up to an older age bracket, the Vader backpack gets points for a clever design, but once again I go back to the image of Vader's head as essentially a high-tech skull.  That's when the product starts getting a little weird for me.  Yeah, yeah....that's probably the parent in me talking.

5.  Darth Vader Birthday Cake: Birthdays...a time of fun, frivolity, and celebration.  Naturally, the perfect cake for such a happy occasion is one that reminds kids that Anakin Skywalker (pictured in the upper-right corner) was horribly burned in the fires of a volcano planet, necessitating the creation of his life-preserving Darth Vader armor.  Happy Birthday!

4.  Darth Vader Piñata- Next on the Happy Sithday agenda is the Darth Vader piñata, where kids traumatized as babies by the Darth Vader night light can finally strike back at the candy-filled lapdog of Emperor Palpatine. Then again...maybe it's not filled with candy...but blackened bits of Anakin Skywalker's soul!

Whatever it's filled with, just make sure the kids are wielding lightsabers when striking at the piñata.

3.  Darth Vader Nutcracker: Play Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker Suite as you dance and twirl around the room with your very own Darth Vader Nutcracker.  Hand carved from wood by Steinbach of Germany, this limited edition piece will set you back a mere $300.

2.  Men's Darth Vader Boxer Shorts:  Which begs the question:  "Is that a protruding breath mask or are you just happy to see me?"

1.  The Darth Vader Chopper:  One of the "crown jewels" of the Bizarro Toybox collection, the crass stupidity of this product is surpassed only by its kitschy appeal and unintentional humor.  Besides, didn't the Star Wars universe have flying Speeder Bikes for motorcycle equivalents?

Had enough?  Yeah, me too.  I can only take so much of George Lucas' greed-based insanity. Let this edition of Bizarro's Toybox serve as a warning to Lucas and Star Wars fans alike:

Cover to Cover: The Island of Misfit Superheroes

Craptacular Crimefighters of Christmas Past

Remember me…King Moonracer?  No, not the 1979 James Bond film.  You know, from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer…the flying lion who ruled the Island of Misfit Toys?  Well, at least until Santa kidnapped them and pawned them off on naughty boys and girls. What…you thought he gave square-wheeled trains and Charlie-In-The-Box toys to good kids? 

Anyway, when the freakish toys abandoned me, my need to rule over rejects and losers remained strong, so I rededicated my kingdom to receive a new population of outcasts….this time housing the wretched refuse of the comic book crimefighting world.  Welcome, my friends…to the Island of Misfit Superheroes!

Some of my oldest subjects date back as far as the fabled Golden Age of Comics.  Granted, superheroes were still a relatively new concept in those days, so mistakes were bound to be made.  Ah, but when it came to guys like the Red Bee, who made his debut in Hit Comics #1 (1940), some mistakes aren’t easily forgiven.  Sporting striped leotards, chiffon sleeves and a swarm of “trained bees” (along with…no lie…a “special bee” named Michael he kept inside his belt buckle), the Red Bee wasn’t what most would consider an imposing juggernaut of justice.

Superman's New Year's Resolutions

The Great 2008 Time-Travel Contest

As the old year winds down and a new one approaches, it's natural for thoughts of the future, the past, and other concepts of time to be on our minds.  Here on New Year's Eve, more than any day of the year, the passage of time is the most keenly felt as we figuratively "step forward" from one year into the next.

Well, when it comes to the fanciful world of comic books, passing forward or even backward in time is a much more literal experience, as various heroes and villains alike are able to travel through time as casually as we might cross the street. 

With these time travelers in mind, I thought it would be fun to make the jump into 2008 with a little contest.  I've scoured the comic book time stream to find twenty four characters that have either traveled through time or can manipulate time in some way. Jot down as many names as you can, then click here to email the list to me (be sure to use their corresponding numbers). The contestant who gets all of the names correct, or gets the most names correct by 6:00 pm on Thursday, January 3rd (whichever comes first), will win a set of three magnets from my Secret Identity shop . The magnets measure just over 3" x 2" and you can choose any three designs you'd like.  I'll announce the winner on Friday, January 4th, so time to get busy!

Oh, and just as I've done with previous contests, I'll be disabling this thread's comments to make sure nobody cribs answers from other contestants.  It's all gotta come from your own brain (or Googling skills). With that said, have fun and HAPPY NEW YEAR!

TIME'S a Wastin'...

Just a friendly reminder that time is running out for you to participate in the Great 2008 Time-Travel Contest. Of the people who've submitted their guesses, nobody has gotten them all correct...so you've definitely got a chance at the prize.  In fact, I think I'll extend the deadline from 6:00 this evening to 9:00 p.m. (CST), giving you a little extra time to identify the twenty-four time traveling characters.

Then, when the clock strikes twelve on Friday, January 4th, I'll announce the winner and, of course, reveal all twenty-four characters.  Good luck and have fun!

We Have a Winner....

The Great 2008 Time Travel Contest is over, and the winner of the Secret Identity magnet set is Chris Roberson. The guy only missed three characters, can you believe that? Congratulations Chris, and thanks to everyone else for sending in their entry.

Now, let's see...who are all of these assorted time travelers?

1. Chronos- Arch-enemy of the Atom (DC Comics).

2. Kang the Conqueror- Time traveling tyrant (Marvel Comics).

3. Voodoo- A human/alien hybrid whose powers include time manipulation.  Member of the WildC.A.T.S. (Wildstorm Comics).

4. Doctor Yesterday- Villain whose advanced armor can manipulate time as well as travel through time (Marvel Comics).

5. Time Trapper- Time-twisting villain of the Legion of Superheroes (DC Comics).

6. Dr. Tyme- Doom Patrol foe who could speed up or slow down time (DC Comics).

7. Superwoman- A 20th century heroic identity of Kristen Wells, a 29th Century history professor (and descendant of Jimmy Olsen).

8. Lord Chronok- Leader of a time-traveling army bent on destroying all superheroes (Marvel Comics).

9. Time Lord (a.k.a. "Epoch")-  Master of the 4th dimensional Chronal Cube and enemy of the Justice League (DC Comics).

10. Dr. Doom- Fantastic Four arch-villain who developed Earth's first time machine (Marvel Comics).  Possibly an ancestor of Kang the Conqueror.

11. Dark Angel- A demonic, time-altering foe of Wonder Woman (DC Comics).

12. Rip Hunter, Time Master- An inventor and adventurer who travels through time in his Time Sphere (DC Comics).

13. Widget- A sentient robot able to open dimensional portals and travel through time (Marvel Comics).

14. Booster Gold- A glory-seeking wannabe superhero from the 25th Century (DC Comics).

15. Clock King-  Enemy of Batman who uses an advanced device to warp time (Batman Animated Series).

16. Time Traveler- A sentient manifestation of the Enigma Force and ally of the Micronauts (Marvel Comics).

17. Extant- Time traveling villain who could also warp the fabric of time (DC Comics).

18. Immortus- Immortal preserver of the timeline and a later identity of Kang the Conqueror (Marvel Comics).

19. Hourman III- An android from the 853rd Century whose advanced technology granted him a vast array of time perception and manipulation powers (DC Comics).

20. Pharoah Rama Tut- A time-traveling alias of Kang the Conqueror who sought to conquer Earth in its ancient past (Marvel Comics).

21. Per Degaton- Time-traveling enemy of the Justice Society who also possessed a precognitive "time vision" ability (DC Comics).

22. Waverider- Able to freely manipulate and travel through time; policed the time stream as a member of the mysterious Linear Men (DC Comics).

23. Scarlet Centurion- Villainous time-traveling son of Kang the Conqueror (Marvel Comics).

24. Justice Peace- Agent of the Time Variance Authority who patrols the time stream (Marvel Comics).

So, there you have it.  A time traveler for every hour of the day.  Some were easy, some were excruciatingly obscure...but regardless of the degree of difficulty, I hope you all had a fun time trying to figure them out. (okay, enough with the time puns)

Gold Nuggets: Captain Marvel Falls in Love!

The Adventures of Comics' Greatest Generation!

Nobody is safe from Cupid's arrow, not even the mighty Captain Marvel!

Back in Whiz Comics #53 (1944), young Billy Batson gets a part time job at a wartime munitions plant.  While working his shift, his demanding lady boss drops her makeup compact, which Billy returns to her in his alter ego of Captain Marvel.  Little does Cap suspect that Billy's no-nonsense"Rosie the Riveter" boss is actually...a babe! (click on the panels for a larger view)

Before you know it, Cap's head over heels in love, courtesy of the "wily Cupid"!

Can a guitar serenade be far behind?  Ahh, but alas...Cupid's arrow did not strike the fair Miss Curtis, as she proceeds to shut down the World's Mightiest Mortal. What's left for Cap to do but to sit in the gutter lamenting he couldn't even "get to first base with a girl"?

Why wasn't Cap her "type"?  Now, before our naughty modern minds join Cap in the gutter, it's revealed that Miss Delia Curtis was engaged to another man when Cap was trying to woo her...

What's that?  A double "Bah" to women and love?  Sadly, it's true...as Billy Batson confirms later during a radio recap of Cap's brush with romance.

To All the Girls I've Loved Before

For nearly seventy years, Lois Lane has been the love of Superman's life. 

His One and Only. 

The Apple of his Eye.

His Soulmate.

Yeah, RIGHT! If you believe that, you clearly aren't familiar with Superman's extensive "Resume' of Romance"!  Whether tricked, magically manipulated, or genuinely in love, the Man of Steel has found himself in the embrace of an amazing array of women from every conceivable background, species, or galaxy.  I'm sure I've missed a bunch, but here's fifteen of them:

UPDATE: As a great "companion piece" to this post, be sure to check out
Lois Lane's Romances at the always-entertaining Silver Age Comics blog!

Happy Valentine's Day

These don't really exist.  But they should.

Happy Valentine's Day.

A Clear and President Danger

What better occasion than Presidents' Day to look back at some rather shocking, uncharacteristic behavior from our country's two greatest Presidents?  On the cover of Rip Hunter...Time Master #23 (1964), we see what appears to be George Washington ordering the execution of Mr. Hunter...both of whom believe the other to be a British spy!

Flashing forward in time to Weird Western Tales #53 (1979), we see Abraham Lincoln in a heated arm-wrestling match with Scalphunter, a white man raised as an American Indian (with a portrait of George Washington gazing serenely over his left shoulder).

Of course, it's highly unlikely George Washington was visited by a time-traveling adventurer or a snarling Abraham Lincoln arm-wrestled a pseudo-Indian...so for those of you who might be interested in the real history of these amazing statesmen, here's a few "real" books I heartily recommend:

Washington: The Indispensable Man by James Thomas Flexner.  In this one volume distillation of his award-winning four volume Washington biography,  Flexner makes it clear that the United States we know today might never have come to be without this exceptional man and his remarkable leadership.  At the same time, Flexner does a wonderful job of humanizing his subject by exploring the many facets of Washington's life as a farmer, a soldier, and as a statesman.

Land of Lincoln: Adventures in Abe's America by Andrew Ferguson. This book isn't really a straight up biography, but in many ways, it's more interesting than one.  Throughout the book, Ferguson (a self-admitted Lincoln buff) visits a wide variety of people and places associated with our 16th President. Some are the places you'd expect (like a Lincoln museum), others not (like a convention of Lincoln impersonators, or another convention of Lincoln haters).  He also visits a number of die hard Lincoln memorabilia collectors, as well as history professors...who each seem to have their own wildly divergent opinions on who Lincoln was and what made him tick.  What emerges from this fascinating book is just how elusive the "real" Lincoln is, and how so many different groups project their own unique agendas or pet philosophies upon the man's legacy.  Carrying the book along is Ferguson's wonderful writing, which offers a bemused perspective on the touching, perplexing, hilarious, or downright strange permutations of Lincoln's enduring legend.

I'm Dreaming of a White Easter (PERRY White, that is)

In all my years of reading superhero comics, I've only come across one character who celebrates Easter, the biggest Christian holiday of the year. That character was Clark Kent's boss Perry White in Action Comics #461 (1976).  It's barely a mention (circled in red below), but I'll take it.

Like Perry, I'll be spending a quiet weekend with my family during this special time (though I won't be regaling grandchildren with tales of youthful glory...not yet anyway!).

Have a great weekend (and a wonderful Easter to my fellow Christians) and I'll see you on Monday!

Good Ol' Ma

To all mothers, mothers-to-be, grandmothers,
step-mothers, and mother-figures:
Have a Happy Mother's Day...you deserve it!

Superboy #8 (May, 1950)

To Make Men Free

"Perform, then, this one act of remembrance before this Day passes - Remember there is an army of defense and advance that never dies and never surrenders, but is increasingly recruited from the eternal sources of the American spirit and from the generations of American youth."

~W.J. Cameron

"To Make Men Free"
by Norman Rockwell (1943)