Worst Cover Ever: Business in Front, Party in the Back.

Question: What do these three dorks and Superman have in common?

Answer: Well, if we're talking Superman circa 1993 through 1996, that would be a MULLET! Yes...the legendary hairstyle of skeezy hicks, trailer park lotharios, and 80% of the perps on COPS was shared by none other than Superman for not one year...not two years...but an interminable three years!

It's hard to exaggerate just how bad the early 1990's were for comics. From the glut of gimmicky special-effect covers to the crass dimwittery of Image Comics, even time-tested icons like Superman found themselves subjected to the fad-chasing desperation of those utterly clueless, creatively vacant times.

To set the context, when Superman was "resurrected" following his much-ballyhooed death earlier in '93, he emerged sporting a dark bodysuit and...what's this?...shoulder-length hair? Nervously chalking it up to an effect of his long hibernation, I assumed Kal-El would get a trim.  Ah, but since this was the creatively bankrupt DC Comics of the early 90's, the powers-that-were inexplicably made the Super-Fabio look permanent!

Here's a few covers from that seemingly-endless three-year time period...
which, even now, make me want to never stop screaming. 

(if you're a glutton for punishment, click to enlarge)

To be fair, not every Superman artist at the time seemed to embrace the new "luscious locks" directive with equal enthusiasm. Some (like Dan Jurgens) drew the hair only slightly longer in back...giving it sort of a "semi-mullet" or "mullet-wannabe" look...but others, like Jon Bogdanove and Stuart Immonen, went completely bonkers and drew Supes with a buffoonish lion's mane of swirling, cascading hair...which transformed a symbol of classic manly power like Superman into a boho, bizarrely feminized imposter.

Of course, just around the corner from Mullet Superman was the equally ill-advised Electro-Superman, yet another desperate Hail Mary pass from the creative titans of the mid-90's DC Comics. But, as painful as the continuation of Superman's "Steaming Pile of Crap" phase was, it was still better than facing the nonsensical spectacle of a mullet-sporting Man of Steel.

After all, you'd think he'd learned the pitfalls of hippy-hair way back in Superman #139 (1960), when Red Kryptonite transformed him into a "Super Wild Man from Borneo"!

Comments

[Brian Disco Snell]

So, Mark, tell us what you really think about the mullet...

I don't know if Kal-El's doo qualified 100% as a mullet, because (with most artists) it wasn't short in the front and sides...it was just long hair, period. You wouldn't say Thor had a mullet...

Now Hercules (occasionally) ...he's rockin' the mullet...

[zubzwank]

Goes into the Hall of Shame with Spider-armor,
Iron Man's roller skates and the Thing's dinosaur fins.

[Servo]

While I found the Super-Mullet to be more akin to Kevin Sorbo's Hercules hair at first, it really went crazy after the first year.

At least they didn't give him a bandolier of belt pouches - that other lovely trend of the 90's - to go with his mullet. Or did they?

[Brian]

This is so awesome! I love these bad comics of the 90's. Any chance of you visiting the Imageverse around this period? There's got to be a ton of stuff to compete for "Worst Cover Ever."

Keep up the good work!

[John Trumbull]

Want to know why Superman kept that hairstyle for so long, Mark? DCU editor Mike Carlin was rockin' the same look in the early 90s.

[Pat Curley]

Ah, the brief, heat of his x-ray vision phase; IIRC that only lasted a year or two, shorter than the mullet phase. ;)

[Grumpy]

A mullet can't flop into your eyes. Supes just had long hair.

And the long hair was pretty silly.

[Kevin]

Mullet head Superman. Dude, seriously, this blog is awesome.

[David Morefield]

Back in the early 90s I'd been telling myself for a while that I should really quit the Superman titles, but I kept getting suckered back in. I credit the mullet with making it so very very easy to finally leave and never look back. So for that at least I'm grateful.

The kicker is, mullets were already on the way out when Superman decided to grow one. So not only did he look stupid, he was still just as much a "square" as ever. Massive fail.

[suedenim]

I don't think the comics themselves were bad during this period (though perhaps re-reading might change my mind.) But the "Fabio" look... Sweet Jeebus.

What amazes me is that DC apparently did think this would be Superman's *permanent* look, and it was used in a number of licensed products that I'd still stumble across well into the 21st century.

[Nataniel Costard]

You have to remember that at that time, long hair for men was the most sexy thing ever. Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, Axel Rose, they all had the same look ("Interview with the vampire" was like it's love song). So at the time, Superman with long hair was quite cool and fresh. Of course, fashion sense changes, and it's part of human history to laugh about thing that happened 15 years ago, and to be nostalgic of the same things, 25 years later.

[carl lomax]

Ha- DC again keeping "styles" on thier characters long after they "went out of style". Duing the 60's, Lois Lane sported a Jackie Kennedy pillbox hat ("in" circa 1963) until 1967.
And many men wore hats until about 1962/3, long after hats were going out of style

[Jesse Holland]

It's a bird! It's a plane! It's, Gaston?

No...one...hits like Gaston!
Matches wits like Gaston!
In a cover match nobody sucks like Gaston!
I'm especially good at imitating!
Zero points for Gaston!
Gasssssstonnnnnnnnn!

[Athens_321]

A mullet is a HAIRCUT that is short on top and sides, but long in the back. Superman's long hair doesn't fit this definition. If anyone read the Return of Superman storyline they would realize it would be impossible. His hair grew long while his body was recovering in a cocoon-like contraption after the attack from Doomsday. His hair was combed back on the sides, which leads many people to believe that it was cut. In truth, Superman can't even get his hair cut because it would break any scissors/clippers attempting to do so. He sported the long hair until he temporarily lost his powers and was able to go to a local barber shop, just in time for his wedding.

[Mychael Darklighter]

Right you are, Athens.
Superman didn't have a mullet. He just had it short in front so he could still have his spit-curl.