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Of all the renowned superhero catch phrases, one of the biggies belongs to Ben Grimm, a.k.a. The Thing of the Fantastic Four. First shouted out as he charged into battle way back in Fantastic Four #22 (1964), "It's Clobberin' Time" has been Ben's tried and true war cry ever since.
It's once again time to start the shambling zombie-march towards Halloween '08 with the Blog of Horror. Much like last October, I'll be turning many of my recurring features over to the creepier side of comics. Sure, I'll be covering other stuff as well (like this weekend's FallCon here in the Twin Cities), but the strange, spooky, and weird will definitely be front and center.
Something I saw today at the comic shop easily covers all three of those categories, as well as qualifying for...
I should say right at the top that this frightening sight wasn't an actual comic book cover, but the cover of Comic Shop News. I've been a fan and reader of the weekly comic shop freebie since way back in the 1980's, and its covers are always a welcome sight. Except for today.
Rather than shattering your psyches all at once (like mine was), let's take it slow and build toward the terror, shall we?
Next, a grim Glowering Dude peering out of the darkness!
A sprawling Hellish City belching flames as far as the eye can see!
The bloated, floating head of
William Shatner!
Promoting a new line of William Shatner Presents titles from Bluewater Comics (based on the various sci-fi novels the actor has "written"), I think the puffy visage of The Shat completely nullifies whatever apocalyptic dread they were shooting for.
Among the female superhero set of the 1940's, there were two basic groups of girls. One was portrayed in a more modest style of costuming while the other group was portrayed in...well...a much less modest (and much more provacative) "Good Girl" art style. One of the most...uh...memorable of this racier Good Girl set was Phantom Lady. Originally published by Quality Comics beginning in 1941, then later with Fox Feature Syndicate, debutante Sandra Knight secretly fought crime using a "black light projector" while clothed in a skimpy costume (which she later explained as a deliberate tactic to distract male criminals).
As the decades zipped by, Phantom Lady and other Quality Comics characters were eventually snapped up by DC Comics and retroactively integrated into their Golden Age pantheon. Which brings us to Starman #44 (1998) as Phantom Lady became the focus of that fine title's occasional "Times Past" flashback adventures. Retro-fitted as Ted (Starman) Knight's cousin, the 1943 setting opened with a catty call-out from a broom ridin', pistol-packin' Prairie Witch!
Woah! Them's fightin' words! Let's flash forward to the Girl Girl vs. Bad Girl clash over the streets of Opal City, ending with a thorough thrashing and a witty kiss-off from the Peek-a-Boo Powerhouse!
Want more female fisticuffs? Check out Friday Night Fights: Ladies Night,
courtesy of the Fightin' Mad Bahlactus!
Celebrating its 20th year, the Minnesota Comic Book Association's FallCon has come a long way from its humble beginnings in local VFW halls and the spectacularly kitschy, un-PC Thunderbird Hotel to become one of the premiere comic book conventions of the upper midwest. Having been staged at the Minnesota State Fairgrounds for the past several years, the 20th anniversary sees the FallCon moving over to the Grandstand, the sprawling site's largest building.
For the past couple of years, I've staged voting campaigns to form Bizarro versions of DC's Justice League and Marvel's Avengers. Both campaigns were a great deal of fun (for both readers and myself), so let's continue the tradition...though not with Bizarro superheroes, but Bizarro supervillains!
Here's the deal: I've mined various internet photo sites to dredge up some of the world's weirdest, goofiest, or just plain worst-looking supervillain costumes...which, to use the twisted logic of Superman's imperfect double, qualifies them for membership to the Bizarro Bad Guys!
Every four or five days through October, you'll get to vote on a different character category, picking who you believe deserves to be a member of:
The contestant in each character group who gets the highest number of votes by Wednesday, October 29th will make the cut....and join the final line-up of the Bizarro Bad Guys on Halloween Day!
Which villainous characters will you be voting for? Well, to kick things off, you'll be casting your ballot for Bizarro Dr. Doom! First, take a look at the four Dr. Doom contestants in the gallery below (if you dare).
Next, click on your choice for your least favorite costume.
Or your favorite if you're using Bizarro-logic!
As for the other villains...stay tuned!
One sure sign of a "Simply the Best" cover is one that could literally stop me in my tracks. Even though it was waaayyy back in summer of 1975, I still vividly recall the cover of Marvel Team-Up #37 standing out like a neon sign.
As both a Spider-Man fan and a fan of "all-things-monster", a clash between the Wall-Crawler and the Man-Wolf was a no-brainer for my 25¢ investment.
Who's this Man-Wolf guy? Well, I'll tell you: While exploring the moon's surface, astronaut John Jameson (son of The Daily Bugle's irascible publisher) found an other-dimensional ruby named the Godstone, which myteriously attached itself to his body. When Jameson returned to Earth, the light of the full moon would activate the Godstone and turn him into a savage, white-furred werewolf. I just love Man-Wolf's snarling face here on the cover, and how his funky yellow radiation suit (to supposedly minimize moon rays) and superheroic-proportions gave the character a real space-age flair...which put some thematic distance between him and the standard werewolf mileau (fog-shrouded Carpathian villages, gypsies, etc.). Although not much effort was put into explaining his presence in the story, what nine year-old boy would even care? Simply said to be a prisoner of the evil Baron Ludwig Von Shtupf (no relation to Lili Von Shtupp of Blazing Saddles), the Man-Wolf was unleashed on Spidey and his guest star from the previous issue. Which leads me to....
This blurb! For any kid still on the fence after seeing the spectacle of a Spidey in Man-Wolf's lycanthropic leg-lock (as unlikely as that would be), this blurb was surely enough to shake the quarter from his grasp. Besides "Action Aplenty", the Frankenstein Monster was in there, too! Translation: Kid Nirvanna!
Making that great day even better, the previous issue was actually still on sale nearby, making my trip to Duluth's Downtown Book an epic, unforgettable experience. Spider-Man meeting both a werewolf and the Frankenstein Monster? It was almost too much for my young mind to take in. Needless to say, these covers, and the stories inside, remain sentimental favorites of mine all these years later.
Note: Hey, just because Bahlactus decided to take an impromptu day off doesn't mean I have to, so I'm presenting my already-prepared Friday Night Fights: Ladies Night entry anyway. So...let's get to it!
Not familiar with how comic book publishing schedules worked, my boyhood friends and I were continually surprised by what we found on the bookstore shelves and 7-Eleven spinner racks of the late 1970's. One of the biggest surprises (literally) were the so-called treasury editions that would just sort of appear out of the blue with little to no publicity. The whopping 10" x 13" format made them almost irresistible to buy, regardless of their subject matter. Typically the vehicle for reprints of older stories, treasury editions would occasionally feature original stories that took full advantage of their "widescreen" proportions.
One of these original productions was DC Collectors' Edition C-24 (1978), which featured Superman vs. Wonder Woman. Although boys like us constantly debated "Who Would Win" when it came to various intramural superhero battles, we tended to shy away from male vs. female match-ups. Whether it was a latent sense of gallantry (highly doubtful) or the whole awkward mystery of girls, Superman vs. Wonder Woman was greeted with guarded interest and more than a little discomfort.
As it turned out, it was a spectacularly entertaining story. Written by the great Gerry Conway and dynamically illustrated by the sublime Jose Garcia Lopez, this clash of DC's Golden Age royalty was set during the Golden Age itself in the midst of World War II. Wisely ignoring the usual "Earth-1 / Earth-2" fiddle-faddle, Superman and Wonder Woman individually uncover an Axis plot to disrupt something called "The Manhattan Project" (yes, that Manhattan Project). However, unlike Superman's wary approval of the project, an outraged Wonder Woman refused to let mankind create an atomic bomb and began sabotaging a Chicago research site! Naturally, Superman arrives to stop Wonder Woman's rampage, leading to a brief but bruising fight that eventually took them to the moon! Let me give you just a taste of the wonderfully choreographed fight, courtesy of Jose Garcia Lopez (click on the image for a super-sized view)...
Continuing the Blog of Horror's march toward Halloween (and to celebrate my 600th post), I thought it would be fun to do another contest for those trivia-saturated brains out there. In the past, I've had you identify characters with blue names, black names, red names, and even patriotic characters for the 4th of July...but this time of year requires something a little creepier, don't you think? With that in mind, I've tracked down twenty-one comic book skull characters, or, more accurately, characters whose heads are either covered with skull masks or (in some cases) are actual exposed skulls! Although a few of them are good guys, it should come as no surprise that the vast majority of them are bad guys. Part FOUR?! Are there really that many silly, cheesy, and downright lousy bad guys out there in the comic book universe?
Oh, you have no idea.
In fact, the more research I do, it seems that A-listers like Two-Face, Lex Luthor, and the Green Goblin are in the vast minority compared with the teeming masses of mediocrity that pass for comic book villainy.
For example, for every A-list Batman villain, there seems to be five or six losers like the Human Eraser, a “rubber headed” felon who, counter to the cover of Batman #188 (1966), was not able to erase matter. Rather, he only covered up (or “erased”) the evidence of other criminals’ crimes for 20% of the take.
Continue reading "Cover to Cover: Bring on the (really bad) Bad Guys IV" »
We have a winner! Our pal Buttler came through with 20 of the 21 characters featured in my Crackin' Skulls contest. Yeah, he won my Red, White, and Blue contest last summer, but since that contest didn't have a prize, he gets the Netflix gift certificate...so congratulations, Buttler!
So, who were all of those skull-faced characters, anyway? Here's the official list, along with all 21 images (click on the gallery for a larger view):
1. Taskmaster (Marvel)
2. Brimstone (DC)
3. Death's Head II (Marvel)
4. Ghost Rider (Marvel)
5. Brainiac (DC)
6. Mister Fear (Marvel)
7. Black Mask (DC)
8. Blazing Skull (Timely/Marvel)
9. Doctor Destiny (DC)
10. Silver Banshee (DC)
11. Skeletor (Mattel)
12. Dreadknight (Marvel)
13. Red Skull (Marvel)
14. Mister Bones (DC)
15. Chapel (Image)
16. Crossbones (Marvel)
17. Cyborg Superman/Hank Henshaw (DC)
18. Bloodaxe (Marvel)
19. Metallo (DC)
20. Doctor Phosphorus (DC)
21. Atomic Skull (DC)
With so much to be angry and cynical about during this incredibly trying time in American history, I'm in need of an "idealism recharge"...which is why my family vacation in Washington D.C. will be such a nice reprieve. Flying out later today, my wife and I, along with our two high schoolers, will tour Washington D.C. for the next several days. Never fear, the miracle of automatic posting will ensure that new posts will appear while I'm marinading in patriotic inspiration.
As my recruitment drive for the Bizarro Bad Guys continues, it's time for you to pick another member.
If you have a pulse, you'll recognize the two gentlemen on the left as Boris Karloff's Frankenstein Monster and Bela Lugosi's Dracula...quite simply the greatest of Universal's pantheon of movie monsters.
Of course, the only thing marring their combined greatness is the fact that these guys never actually fought each other in any of the Universal horror movies. Sure, the characters co-starred in plenty of movies like The House of Frankenstein (1944) and The House of Dracula (1945), but none of their interactions (with the exception of one schlocky 70's movie) ever approached that of an actual mano-a-mano slugfest (click here for a long overview of their non-fighting history).
So, with movies missing the boat on a Frankenstein-Dracula clash, it would eventually fall to a comic book to make that fantasy-fight a reality...specifically in Marvel's Frankenstein Monster #8 and #9 (1973).
Befriending a gentle gypsy named Carmen, Frankenstein's monster was tricked by the young woman's scheming grandmother to unleash the evil of Dracula. Wasting no time, the Lord of Vampires began a killing spree that counted Carmen herself as one of his victims.
After he escaped from the standard gang of angry villagers, the monster sought refuge in a dark mountain cave, only to be attacked by Carmen...who was now a savage, blood-hungry vampire! With the stage now set, let's join the tormented creature as he sadly does what must be done...followed by the entrance of her imperious new master...
(click on the pages for a monster-sized view)
At this point in his career, few artists could surprass the sheer emotional impact of John Buscema's pencils. Merging superheroic dynamism with wonderfully expressive faces and body language, Buscema (along with underrated inker John Verpoorten) made this battle every bit as exciting as we always imagined it could be....
Battles like this are notorious for ending in unresolved "draws", as not to favor one character over the other (i.e. the many Superman vs. Flash races). However, this battle ignores that frustrating tradition by offering a clear and convincing winner. "One Must Die" as the cover proclaimed, and "one" certainly did...in a decisive, savage, and emotionally powerful sequence worthy of any Universal horror classic:
This fantastic (albeit brief) battle makes it all the more perplexing as to why Universal Studios never staged anything similar in their long series of monster movie crossovers. Perhaps Frankenstein's Monster and Dracula simply appearing in the same movie together was a big enough thrill for their original audiences, while violent physical battle may be something we comic book fans tend to impose upon these sorts of things. Well, whatever their reasons for not filming what could have been History's Greatest Battle, at least Marvel Comics went where nobody else was willing to go with these two Titans of Terror.
A few days back I expressed some mock-concern over Washington D.C.'s superhuman crime rate (as reflected on select covers), but really...our trip to our nation's capital has been a wonderful experience so far. As I write this, it's Friday evening and we're all winding down after another busy day of sightseeing. Here's a few photos of our adventures so far (click on each to enlarge).
You see, this was the era when adults who designed such costumes believed that as long as there was at least a vague resemblance to the actual comic book costumes, it was good to go. That mindset certainly explains the decidedly non-tough, pajama-like look of the Superman and Batman costumes...not to mention the non-sensical red mask for Superman and that eerie plasti-face mask for Batman. Those types of masks, besides being incredibly dangerous (by virtually eliminating peripheral vision) were also somewhat claustrophobic, hot, and tough to breathe through...making tripping and kid collisions a common occurence in darkened yards. Flash forward thirty-four years and you can see that Halloween costume-tech has come a long way since those dark days of inauthentic jammy-costumes and creepy "old man face" plastic-masks. Let's do a side-by-side comparison of the 1974 Superman costume with readily-available versions sold today: In almost all respects, the modern costume looks very convincing, and a dream come true for a young Superman fan. I think the fake muscle padding is the most significant "advance" from the Bad Old Days...and, of course, tossing aside that bizarre red mask (whose idea was that, anyway?). The modern Batman costume offers an even greater contrast with its 1970's predecessor. Gone is the giant chest emblem with the "Batman" label and the weird, expressionless mask, replaced by a torso of synthetic muscles, a cool scalloped cape, and a nifty-looking cowl. Man...if we had anything close to these modern costumes in the 70's, our superhero Halloweens would have been even more exciting and certainly alot less dangerous. Of course, even if we did have cool costumes like this back in my day, I'm sure my mom still would have made me wear a jacket over it.As you can see from this 1974 Sears Catalog page, options for Halloween costumes were extremely limited, especially if you wanted to go as a superhero (click on the image for a larger view). Unless you were a kid who had a world-class seamstress for a mom, anyone who wanted to trick-or-treat in an authentic-looking Superman or Batman costume had to dramatically lower their hopes and expectations.
First you voted for the goofy Bizarro-version of Dr. Doom! Then you voted for the worst Galactus costume in all the cosmos! Now it's time to vote for the lamest version of Magneto, Marvel's master of magnetism and arch-enemy of the X-Men. Gathered from photo posting sites across the internet, these four contestants are vying for the status of least-attractive Magneto (Get it? Magnetism? Attraction? Oh, never mind).
Next, check out the poll below and click on your least favorite Magneto costume. You'll have between now and October 29th to vote, with the winner announced on Halloween Day (along with the winners of the Dr. Doom, Galactus, and a final mystery category). Got it? Then go vote!
More of the small details that made a BIG impression... only this time with a spookier edge befitting this month's Blog of Horror theme. The three randomly cool-slash-spooky items below are just that: completely random elements that, for a variety of reasons, have been instant and enduring favorites of mine.Doctor Fate's helmet: From my very first glimpse of the character on the back cover of a Justice League treasury edition, I've been fascinated by the character of Doctor Fate. A super-sorcerer who made his Golden Age debut in (the oddly titled) More Fun Comics #55 (1940), Fate's appeal for me wasn't so much his hocus-pocus as it was his arresting visual presense, particularly his golden, gleaming helmet. Completely obscuring his human face, the helmet made Fate an eerie, mysterious presence in stories that were already quite weird and surreal.
Of all the dunderheaded things DC Comics has pulled over the past several years, one of the worst has been their shabby treatment of the SHAZAM stable of characters...or "The Marvel Family" as they're more commonly referred to.
Sure, some of the more tangential SHAZAM projects have been top notch, but the family's treatment in DC's in-continuity "universe" has, for the most part, been pretty pathetic. Ever since Crisis on Infinite Earths folded them into the mainstream DC Universe, the Marvel Family has been largely ignored or, when they do show up, are caricatured as whitebread, bubble-headed naifs. More recently, Captain Marvel himself has been completely sidelined as some kind of white-haired mentor figure, while Cap Jr. is now (somehow) the current Cap, and (worst of all) Mary Marvel has been made EEEEVIL! How do we know? Why, because she's wearing a sleazy black version of her costume (complete with fishnet stockings). Like I said: pathetic.
As the Blog of Horror heads into its final week for 2008, it's time to pick the last member of the Bizarro Bad Guys. However, unlike the polls for Dr. Doom, Galactus, and Magneto, this time you'll be picking from four completely different super villains. Gathered from photo sites across the internet, these hapless specimens of low-budget villainy are all vying for your vote.
Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble! As crazy as DC's penchant for ape, gorilla, and monkey covers could get, few covers surpassed the sheer insanity of an eyepatch-wearing gorilla stirring up a witch's brew of world domination!
Name: Taro, the Gorilla Witch
History: While he brewed a magic potion that would allow him to communicate with animals, a jungle explorer named Reed was suddenly attacked by a gorilla. During the attack, the potion's potent fumes turned Reed into a gorilla while giving Taro (the attacking gorilla) human intelligence. The newly-intelligent Taro put on Reed's clothes (including Reed's eyepatch!), mixed up some more gorilla potion, then set about making an army of intelligent apes to take over the world (ala The Planet of the Apes). Luckily for humanity, Reed's friend Bruce slipped a transformation-neutralizing antidote into the brew, causing Taro to lose his intelligence and Reed to regain his humanity. Taro was then captured and shipped off to a zoo...while still wearing Reed's eyepatch!
Powers and Abilities: As Gorilla Witch, the witch brew gave Taro the capability of making a vast army of intelligent apes with which to take over the world, which he imagined in the panel below (click to enlarge).
Taro's human intelligence gave him the ability to "impersonate" Reed....with the amusing exception of putting his eyepatch over the wrong eye, thereby sowing the seeds of his defeat.
For more DC Comics Monkey Business, click here.
As an eight year-old comic book rookie, I wasn't familiar with either horror comics or the eerie vignettes of shows like The Twilight Zone (having only three TV stations in my hometown). Of course, that didn't stop me from jumping in with both feet and buying The Vault of Evil #13 from Falk's Pharmacy in the summer of 1974. Sure, compared to all of the other Simply the Best covers I've featured, this one may not be an artistic classic for the ages...but it's certainly a sentimental favorite of mine as I recall that vaguely "naughty" feeling of buying something with the Devil so prominently featured. And, yes, this is a scan of my well-worn personal copy (click to enlarge):
So, since the cover was the primary reason I bought it, what was awaiting me inside? As it turned out, quite a nice variety of weirdness...and my first real experience with the concept of irony-laden "twist" endings.
A summary:
Tale #1: "The Heat's On", a dark tale of cruelty, spousal abuse, marital infidelity, a scheming she-devil, and going straight to Hell! Perfect for an eight year-old! Note the mysterious, looming presence of Satan in the final panel.
Tale #2: "The Telepathic Typewriter", a weird morality tale of a writer who discovered a truth-telling typewriter, but is later overcome with greed.
Tale #3: "The Madman", featuring a nurse who was actually a murderous spy for a race of four-armed subterranean invaders. A very odd and unsettling story at the time.
Tale #4: "Contents: One Human!", a quirky sci-fi story in which people are shrunk to a height of six inches and mailed in packages to save on travel expenses...a program secretly operated by a Martian!
As the years went on, the sci-fi/horror anthology format became a familiar and favorite experience, whether from old time radio, TV, or comic books. But, for me, that great tradition started with Vault of Evil #13 and its collection of surreal, supernatural tales.
After hundreds of votes from a dozen different countries, it's time to reveal the world's Worst Dressed Supervillains! BEHOLD...
Happy Halloween!
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