An (Amazonian) Olympic Moment

Superman's participation in the Intergalactic Olympics certainly wasn't the only contest of champions to appear in superhero comics.  Arguably the first (and strangest) of these athletic competitions took place in Wonder Woman #1 (1940).

Shunning mankind (or "Patriarch's World"), a race of Amazonian she-warriors lived in isolation on Paradise Island. When an American pilot named Steve Trevor crash-landed nearby, young Princess Diana broke the Amazons' "No Boys Allowed" rule and brought the injured pilot onto the island. Once Trevor was revived and restored to health, Diana's mother Queen Hippolyta decreed that he be returned to "the warring world of men" immediately. Cue the goddess Aphrodite, who commanded Hippolyta to select her "strongest maiden" to accompany Trevor back to America.

To select her Amazonian champion, the Queen devised an athletic competition open to all citizens of Paradise Island..with the exception of her daughter Diana (who was obviously head-over-heels in love with that pesky man). However, as the contestants gathered at Amazon Stadium, Diana (ever the rebel) hatched a daring plan of her own...

(click on the panels for a larger view)

Following that leggy procession, the women warriors kicked off their contest with a spirited round of Kanga Fencing...culminating in Diana's clash with big ol' Number 21...

Meanwhile, Diana's pal Mala faced the wrestling fury of Fatsis, a.k.a. the "two-ton grease heap" (and a dead-ringer for WW's future pal Etta Candy)...

Next up for Diana, a record-setting performance in the Lasso Leap...

 

Finally, after a full day of bizarre sporting events,
two undefeated Amazons faced one final test...

YOIKS! These Amazons play for keeps! 

Bullets and Bracelets*...don't try this at home, kids!

(*sung to the tune of "Crimson and Clover")

With that, the pistol-packin' princess won the contest and unmasked before a thoroughly flabbergasted Hippolyta. Reluctantly following her own decree, the Queen awarded Diana the garb of Wonder Woman...who "like any other girl with new clothes", couldn't wait to try it on...

So...what do you think, International Olympic Committee?

Bullets and Bracelets for the London Summer Games in 2012?

I say "HOLA"!

Comments

[De]

I've just found my new catchphrase, "Backbone's better than beef!"

I laughed out loud over "or expect to be wounded" when the rules were explained for Bullets & Bracelets. Because, you know, bullets can't actually kill anyone when you shoot at someone's face.

[Mark Engblom]

"I laughed out loud over "or expect to be wounded" when the rules were explained for Bullets & Bracelets."

Yes, that quote is a masterpiece of understatement, isn't it?

You know...."Bullets and Bracelets" would be a great name for a girl band....and their first album could be "Expect to be Wounded".

[Pat Curley]

Hmmm, just rereading Teen Titans #4, in which Wonder Girl claims her Amazon ancestors helped start the Olympic Games. It's a dubious claim on the face of it, since women weren't allowed to be spectators at the original games (possibly because the contestants were naked). Maybe this is what she's referring to?

[ShadowWing Tronix]

I wonder if this is why the Amalgam team-up of Diana (not Wonder Woman, Storm took the Amalgam version of that title) and the Punisher was called "Bullets and Bracelets".

[Mark. Engblom]

Yeah, that title was definitely evoking the old "bullets and bracelets" Amazonian contest. Good catch.