At the Movies- Hellboy II: The Golden Army (spoilers)

Having enjoyed many of Mike Mignola's Hellboy stories over the years (and the first movie based on them), Hellboy II: The Golden Army looked like something I'd enjoy. This past weekend, on the day before dropping my Lanky Lad off at camp for a week, he and I checked out the movie.  What did I think?

Sadly, like so many "event movies", Hellboy II was a non-stop feast of astounding visuals, but not much else.

Most of the performances seemed by-the-numbers and "phoned in", with star Ron Perlman exhibiting little of his charisma from the first movie and, frankly, seeming a bit bored under all that makeup. Selma Blair (playing Hellboy's girlfriend Liz) also seemed to be killing time...which (combined with Perlman's blase' presence) evaporated all traces of the wounded, eccentric chemistry they shared in the original.

Speaking of evaporating charisma, it looks like the decision for David Hyde Pierce to perform the voicework for the Abe Sapien character in the first Hellboy was the right one.  This time around, Doug Jones (the guy in the Abe Sapien costume for both movies) also supplied the voice work, which was nowhere near as entertaining as Hyde Pierce's performance. Sure, Abe had the same quirky movements, but his voice just sounded flat and not quite right.  Kind of like the character's interest-free romance with the elven princess Nuala.

Playing his 7,587th smug jerk, Jeffrey Tambor seemed as bored with his typecasting as I am. I realize the role of Tom Manning requires someone of Tambor's vast experience playing nervous, priggish bureaucrats...but really, I think the role could have used someone with a bit more engagement or spark. Which points to one of the larger problems I had with the movie: while I get all of the "average day at the nutty office" stuff they're trying to do here, it's all been done before in movies like Ghost Busters and Men In Black. So, when Tambor casually talks to Hellboy while BPRD agents struggle to strap down a squealing Lovecraftian nightmare in the background, it's no longer funny. It's just boring.

I'm of two minds on the character of Prince Nuada.  One one hand, I thought he was by far the most entertaining character in the entire movie, due to both his stunning visual look and the performance of actor Luke Goss.  On the other hand, I found myself feeling irritated with director Guillermo Del Toro for essentially ripping-off Michael Moorcock's legendary fantasy character Elric of Melnibone. In addition to Prince Nuada being a visual dead-ringer for the albino adventurer, Nuada's imperious demeanor, sorcerous trappings, and ruthless fighting skill more than evoked Moorcock's most famous creation.  Yeah, freaky albino bad guys are nothing new in cinema...but Nuada was so close in look and style to Elric, that it went past "homage" and straight into "rip-off" territory for me.  It's especially irritating considering the rest of the movie is such a faithful translation of Hellboy creator Mike Mignola's unique visual vocabulary, that you'd think there would be no need to so flagrantly "smuggle" the image of Elric into the movie.  Very, very disappointing....yet at the same time, incredibly cool to see this pseudo-Elric running around on film.  The phrase "so close, yet so far" comes to mind (I hope Michael Moorcock gets a taste of the film's likely profits). 

Of all the irritations in the movie, I think the most persistent one was director Del Toro's obsession with intricate "mystery wrapped in an enigma" devices and machinery.  When he wasn't wasting half a minute showing interlocking gears and cogs intricately whirling and spinning into place, he was wasting another half minute zoomed in on delicate interlacing metalwork magically sprouting and curving into even more intricate formations. Although I've gone on record many times saying how much I appreciate the small details in things, Del Toro takes it to an embarrassingly self-indulgent level, which effectively slams the brakes on the movie's forward momentum. Perhaps the biggest challenge facing a director of film isn't necessarily the struggle of bringing your vision into reality, but recognizing (and resisting) your own quirky fixations and obsessive preoccupations.  It looks like Del Toro's still got a ways to go in that department.

After a dizzying array of interlocking puzzle boxes and "Jim Henson meets Harry Potter" creatures, Hellboy and company finally encountered the Golden Army which, like the rest of the movie, didn't live up to the hype.  Pretty to look at, to be sure....but with all the detached indifference and flashy incoherence of a video game.

For so much of this "style over substance" excess, I'm afraid I can only give Hellboy II a paltry

2 out of 5 Hellboy Heads

Comments

[Geoff]

Saw it yesterday, and have to agree. Disappointing. Characterizations bothered me too...

***SPOILERS***

How Hellboy felt remorse after taking out the giant plant elemental. I mean, C'mon! The thing was out specifically to kill Hellboy, and anyone in the way, too! His reluctance to shoot and his later remorse just didn't jibe with me.

And why do they all just resign from the BPRD at the end?!? I was like, "Huh???". Not only did it not make sense to me, it's a dumb move on all their parts. Maybe Liz could get along in the civilian world, but the others would have to exist in hiding, due to their looks, I'd think. Maybe Abe could go back to the ocean, but Red and Krauss don't have that option. Plus, how's Hellboy gonna deal with his tremendous appetite problem?

Anyway, like you said, visually satisfying, but low on substance.

[Wes C]

I too was disappointed by Hellboy II.

Hellboy was one of the very few things that kept me going and gave me hope during the "extreme" comics of the 90's.

This movie didn't seem to capture the feel of the comic. It felt much more like a Del Toro movie than a Mignola Hellboy story.

I've always enjoyed the humor in Hellboy, but the movie seemed to be way to preoccupied with jokes and not enough on the dire situation they were supposedly in.

[Mark Engblom]

"This movie didn't seem to capture the feel of the comic. It felt much more like a Del Toro movie than a Mignola Hellboy story."

I read an article the other day about Mike Mignola and how even HE felt that the Hellboy movies were very much Del Toro's territory and not his. In fact, he even came to view the various characters as the director's and not his own, in the sense that they bore little resemblance to his own take on them (visually, if not their personalities as well). Quite a telling observation.

[HEART]

I really liked Hellboy 2 as a film, versus being a 'comic' film. I never read Hellboy, and I never will.

Plus, can somebody hand me an example when somebody HASN'T copied off of somebody else? This is human...HMMM...oh, NATURE!

[UsedRomanceCH]

I feel the same as you about the Prince, he totally made me think of Elric... At first, I was like "What are they trying to do by stealing Moorcock's character?" And then I saw mister red skin, aka Hellboy... And I wondered "Did the Prince looked like this cause the comic's author imagined him that way? Maybe even as a hommage? It wouldn't be the first." But you seem to know more about the comic than I do, and you don't believe in this theory.

[demona356]

Hey,

I have not read 'Elric of Melnibone' however due to the slammin of the movie?! I'll read it. I have never followed the comics and I've fallen for the characters! Del toro's visual eye is unique and his next project 'The Hobbit' will be magical as will be the final Hellboy 3. GDT, all the best mate! xo G

[pskinny]

I thought the movie was better than the first and in all honesty loved every character in it accept for Abe. I just couldn't get over the fact that they changed actors, once I'm familiar with the characters of any series I absolutely hate it when they have to change them. I also thought that Nuada was a great villain. I don't think that stating he was a rip off of someone else's thoughts would be accurate, especially since you said he was basically stolen from Moorcock, but then posted a picture of Brom's depiction of Moorcocks character Elric. I don't think that anyone has the sole rights to write about, paint, or film the fictional albino fairy or elfish type creature. The simple truth is that the storyline of Hell Boy II, and possibly some of Moorcock's works, can be seen to parallel the Mythology pertaining to the first King of the Tuatha De, who was in fact named Nuada. This Irish myth has helped many artists bring to life their own visions of elfish or fairy type beings and the lives which they lead in their worlds. The myth may not be a direct parallel but how can any artist directly parallel their own work from another if they're going to try to make it something NEW!

[Eireanne]

I just saw Hellboy 2. I really enjoyed it. I think that if somebody is going to make a movie based off of a novel or a comic or a video game it does need to be close to the source. On the other hand this movie was visually stunning. I thought the Golden Army was amazing.

I did happen to watch parts of it with commentary. They stated that the reason Nuada was so pale and ended up looking like Elric was because Anna Walton, the actress playing Nuala, was so pretty that they cut down on her prosthetics to virtually nothing. She ended up being pale so they went back and changed the color on Luke Goss' make-up. Maybe the general look was a homage in itself, but I don't think he was going for a rip off.