Comic Coverage

Simply the Best: Clash of the Titans!

Remember the old philosophical paradox that asks "What happens when an irresistible force meets an immovable object?"  Well, this is just a guess, but my answer to the question would be Comic Book Clash Covers!

"What's a Comic Book Clash Cover?", you ask?  Let's break it down:

1.  Clash Covers always feature two opposing teams barreling toward each other at top speed.

2.  The best Clash Covers usually freeze-frame the action a split second before the earth-shaking impact.

3.  More often than not, the design of the cover is highly symmetrical, as combatants rushing in from stage left have a corresponding combatant speeding toward them from stage right.

4.  The first and most common type of Clash Cover is the age-old conflict of superheroes vs. supervillains with its primal good vs. evil appeal (click on each cover for a better look):

5.  A second and surprisingly common type of Clash Cover features two teams of good guys ready to smash each other to a pulp, which amps up the already crazy levels of drama by prompting the viewer to wonder "Why the heck are the good guys fighting each other?"

6.  The third variety of Clash Cover also happens to be my favorite.  In this case, the warring sides are different versions of the same team of superheroes, such as when the current lineup of a super-team battles its original lineup.  In addition to the basic drama of opposing sides about to collide, beyond the added drama of good guys battling each other, this third category knocks the drama quotient out of the park with its undercurrents of "old vs. new" generational competition and intramural resentment.

7.  A tiny percentage of Clash Covers defy all classification, as demonstrated by the cover of Justice League #132 (1976).

Thankfully, clashes between superheroes and weapon-toting zoo animals are incredibly rare (I believe this is the only one), making the vast majority of Clash Covers a slam-dunk addition to Simply the Best!

TIME'S a Wastin'...

Just a friendly reminder that time is running out for you to participate in the Great 2008 Time-Travel Contest. Of the people who've submitted their guesses, nobody has gotten them all correct...so you've definitely got a chance at the prize.  In fact, I think I'll extend the deadline from 6:00 this evening to 9:00 p.m. (CST), giving you a little extra time to identify the twenty-four time traveling characters.

Then, when the clock strikes twelve on Friday, January 4th, I'll announce the winner and, of course, reveal all twenty-four characters.  Good luck and have fun!

We Have a Winner....

The Great 2008 Time Travel Contest is over, and the winner of the Secret Identity magnet set is Chris Roberson. The guy only missed three characters, can you believe that? Congratulations Chris, and thanks to everyone else for sending in their entry.

Now, let's see...who are all of these assorted time travelers?

1. Chronos- Arch-enemy of the Atom (DC Comics).

2. Kang the Conqueror- Time traveling tyrant (Marvel Comics).

3. Voodoo- A human/alien hybrid whose powers include time manipulation.  Member of the WildC.A.T.S. (Wildstorm Comics).

4. Doctor Yesterday- Villain whose advanced armor can manipulate time as well as travel through time (Marvel Comics).

5. Time Trapper- Time-twisting villain of the Legion of Superheroes (DC Comics).

6. Dr. Tyme- Doom Patrol foe who could speed up or slow down time (DC Comics).

7. Superwoman- A 20th century heroic identity of Kristen Wells, a 29th Century history professor (and descendant of Jimmy Olsen).

8. Lord Chronok- Leader of a time-traveling army bent on destroying all superheroes (Marvel Comics).

9. Time Lord (a.k.a. "Epoch")-  Master of the 4th dimensional Chronal Cube and enemy of the Justice League (DC Comics).

10. Dr. Doom- Fantastic Four arch-villain who developed Earth's first time machine (Marvel Comics).  Possibly an ancestor of Kang the Conqueror.

11. Dark Angel- A demonic, time-altering foe of Wonder Woman (DC Comics).

12. Rip Hunter, Time Master- An inventor and adventurer who travels through time in his Time Sphere (DC Comics).

13. Widget- A sentient robot able to open dimensional portals and travel through time (Marvel Comics).

14. Booster Gold- A glory-seeking wannabe superhero from the 25th Century (DC Comics).

15. Clock King-  Enemy of Batman who uses an advanced device to warp time (Batman Animated Series).

16. Time Traveler- A sentient manifestation of the Enigma Force and ally of the Micronauts (Marvel Comics).

17. Extant- Time traveling villain who could also warp the fabric of time (DC Comics).

18. Immortus- Immortal preserver of the timeline and a later identity of Kang the Conqueror (Marvel Comics).

19. Hourman III- An android from the 853rd Century whose advanced technology granted him a vast array of time perception and manipulation powers (DC Comics).

20. Pharoah Rama Tut- A time-traveling alias of Kang the Conqueror who sought to conquer Earth in its ancient past (Marvel Comics).

21. Per Degaton- Time-traveling enemy of the Justice Society who also possessed a precognitive "time vision" ability (DC Comics).

22. Waverider- Able to freely manipulate and travel through time; policed the time stream as a member of the mysterious Linear Men (DC Comics).

23. Scarlet Centurion- Villainous time-traveling son of Kang the Conqueror (Marvel Comics).

24. Justice Peace- Agent of the Time Variance Authority who patrols the time stream (Marvel Comics).

So, there you have it.  A time traveler for every hour of the day.  Some were easy, some were excruciatingly obscure...but regardless of the degree of difficulty, I hope you all had a fun time trying to figure them out. (okay, enough with the time puns)

Worst. Cover. Ever. (Part 15)

After all that "peace and good will towards man" business from the Christmas season, I think it's time to balance things out a bit with a little snarky negativity in the form of another Worst Cover Ever!

Our fifteenth inductee into the Comic Cover Hall of Shame is from the original Marvel Comics THOR series.  As a collector of Thor comics, I often come across this eyesore while searching through back issue bins...so I thought I'd finally purge all the negativity I've built up toward Thor #482 (1995), which I still can't quite bring myself to buy for my own collection.

Maybe the best way to tackle this mess by artist Lou Harrison is to break it down by character.  Starting on the lower left hand side of the cover is supposedly Loki, Thor's evil half-brother.  Instead of the sly, malevolent Loki, the overly manic expression on Harrison's Loki looks exactly like a photo reference model who's caught somewhere in between "angry look" and trying not to crack up.  To me, this shows a little too much reliance on the obvious photo reference the artist used for the Loki face.  "Loki's" horned headpiece isn't very convincingly rendered, either.

The magenta guy in the middle is supposed to be the mysterious High Evolutionary.  Despite some rather nice metallic painting effects on the character's face mask, the contrast level is too low...so the areas of the face kind of blend together and don't really have much visual impact. It's simply "there".

Probably the best-painted character on the cover, Count Tagar (a creation of the High Evolutionary) is also a none-too-subtle photo reference shot. What is it with these photo models?  They're either Zen-placid (High Evolutionary and Thor) or completely insane with rage (Loki, Count Tagar), with none of the more subtle emotional middle ground painted imagery is ideally suited to capture. Further cluttering the already shoe-horned layout, Tagar's warm color scheme visually blends together with Thor's warm skin tones, which doesn't allow the foreground figure of Thor to properly "pop" off the page....which brings us to....

Thor.  Ugh.  As I touched on in the Count Tagar critique, Thor's facial expression here is dead-eyed and emotionally inert....almost as if he's in a deep trance.  Add to that the silly skull-cap "helmet" and the hair that looks like the frizzy straw of a cartoon broom, and you've got a truly giggle-worthy thunder god on your hands.

One of my pet peeves with superhero comic artists is when costumes are rendered as if they're spray painted onto skin rather than made of fabric. No, I don't think every fold or crease needs to be shown, but come on....some of this stuff just gets lazy and non-sensical...such as Thor's skimpy mid-torso "costume" here, looking more like a tattoo than an actual piece of fabric or armor.

Are those thighs or a cluster of purple grapes?  Here's a good example of how no amount of painting razzle dazzle can cover up poor drawing.  The anatomy here (and elsewhere) on Thor is, frankly, very poorly drawn...which only becomes magnified during the painting process.  Poorly drawn muscle groups become bloated water drops.

Similarly, are those Thor's feet or a pair of tennis balls stuck into some hanging panty hose?

These isolated areas of poor drawing look all the worse when combined into the full body shot of Thor.  That cartoonishly tiny head stuck atop an inverted pyramid of lumpy muscle, that tree-trunk of a left arm haphazardly stuck onto it, along with the bloated "sack of potato" thighs stuck to those limp, dangling yellow boots...all make Thor look more like a giant balloon character from the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade instead of the majestic thunder god he's supposed to be.

If you blink, you might miss that this issue marked the 400th appearance of Thor in the title that began as Journey Into Mystery (Thor first appeared in issue #83, then later took over the numbering as The Mighty Thor).  Nothing like a shrimpy, hard-to-read blurb partially obscured by artwork to mark your 400th appearance, is there?

As fatally flawed as this cover is, this blurb does a good job of summing up its enduring incompetence.

Random Coolness (Part 3)

More of the small details that made a big impression:

1.  The Spider-Mobile: In addition to its sporty dune-buggy design, the introduction of the Spider-Mobile in the early 1970's was also a masterful parody of crass commercialism and celebrity endorsements.  As part of their campaign to sell a new non-polluting car engine, the ad agency of Carter and Lombardo convinced a reluctant (yet cash-strapped) Spider-Man to lend his name to the promotion.  With the help of gear-head Johnny "Human Torch" Storm, the Spider-Mobile made its debut in Spider-Man #130 (1974)...becoming a source of constant embarrassment and irritation for Web-Head until it sunk into the Hudson River less than a year later.

2.  Green Lantern's Oath: Evoking the mystery of a magical incantation and the cadence of a childhood nursery rhyme, the solemn verse recited by Hal Jordan as he recharges his power ring never fails to send a shiver up my spine.  Cynics and hipsters hate it for its corny earnestness, but that's exactly why I love it (click on the image to the left for a larger view).

3.  Marvel Comics origin summaries:  Always located on the first inside page (or "splash page") of 1970's Marvel comics, the concise "capsule origins" of the title characters were mini-wonders of streamlined drama hooks.  To be fair, DC tried them here and there, but Marvel's always seemed much more punchy and enticing (click on the image for maximum dramatic effect).

Was it just me, or did you also hear the voice of that "In a world..." movie trailer guy when you read that capsule origin?

4. Kirby Tech: One of the subtle wonders of Silver Age Marvel Comics was artist Jack Kirby's flair for whimsical, highly-stylized machinery.  "Kirby Tech" (as it's since become known) covered costumes, weapons, vehicles, or even entire city-scapes with its imaginative design and hyperactive pseudo-functionality.  Here's what Joe Sinnott (Kirby's greatest inker) said about the jaw-dropping image below (from Fantastic Four #64, 1967):

"One of his most outstanding devices appeared on the splash page of issue #64.  You can imagine just how long it took me to ink this panel.  I must have lost money on that page spending so much time with all that intricate 'Kirby Tech,' but it was well worth the satisfaction of completing such a page with Jack.  Those splash pages were always much anticipated by the fans."

Click on the panel above for full-frontal Kirby Tech!

Dear Editor: "A Mob of Stupid Lunkheads..."

I keep coming across interviews with comic book creators who mention how discouraged they are with the relentless criticism and negativity of internet fandom. It's as if cynicism, sarcasm, and harsh critiques suddenly materialized with the advent of internet fan input, while the pre-internet days (by implication) were some kind of idyllic Garden of Eden between comic book publishers and their fans.

Well, I hate to burst their bubble, but you don't have to look too hard to find today's brand of negative snark in yesterday's fan forums.  Sure, in the case of comic book letters pages, the format was much more limited and stage-managed than today's more free-wheeling internet age...but the passion and intensity of both eras?  Indistinguishable.  Here....read this letter from the Avengers Assemble letters page in Avengers #37 (1966) and you be the judge:

"Ruining"?  "Lousy"? "Crummy"?  "Stupid Lunkheads"?...and how about that whiplash-inducing head fake in the final sentence?  I don't know about you, but the fans of forty-one years ago seemed to be every bit as brutally honest (and mercurial and occasionally incoherent) as their 21st century counterparts.

So, how did the boys of the Marvel Bullpen react to such whithering negativity?  Did they take their football and go home or whine that there was something deeply flawed or mean-spirited about the fandom of 1966?

Of course not.  They kept their game face on, had some fun with it, and ultimately kept the feeling of community intact.  Watch the masters at work:

Yes...I know...some internet critics take things way, way too far...and I'm not condoning that kind of stuff.  But come on...some of today's creators have a remarkably thin skin, and it would do them well to adopt a bit of their predecessors' good humor and unflappable attitude.

Great Moments in Exposition

One of the most endearing aspects of Superman comics during the 1950's and 60's was their tendency to cram insane amounts of expositional (or explanatory) dialogue into single panels. Since each issue featured three stories of only eight pages each, the necessary compression resulted in word balloons jam-packed with summarized information.

The point of all that exposition was to quickly bring new readers up to speed on the increasingly complex cast of characters and concepts of that era's Superman...resulting in surreal panels like this beauty from Superman #113 (1957). Despite his weakness and impending death from a massive chunk of Kryptonite, Superman still manages to explain Kryptonite's effect upon him, as well as humanity's immunity to the deadly mineral....out loud....to nobody in particular.

I'll be sure to keep my eye open for more Great Moments in Exposition.

Wisdom for the Ages

Friday Night Fights: The Power Cosmic

Following the "Big Bang" of cosmic storytelling introduced by Marvel founders Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, the next generation of creators expanded upon those concepts in spectacular new ways. One of these young turks was a guy named Jim Starlin, who quickly rose from the penciller of the failing Captain Marvel title to its writer and chief architect of its complex cosmic mythology.

Like nothing else before it (or since, for that matter), Starlin's Captain Marvel incorporated elements of the late 60's psychedelic art movement, physical sensuality, and Eastern spirituality into a powerful, surprisingly cerebral adventure. In short, the perfect comic book to read while cranking a Led Zeppelin album.

One of the most impressive aspects of Starlin's Captain Marvel was how effortlessly he could combine heady, metaphysical or psychological concepts with standard superhero conventions like fight scenes. A perfect example of this mind-bending hybrid appeared in Captain Marvel #29 (1973), a porton of which I've posted to the left (click on the big slab of panels for the full Starlin-esque effect). While encountering the cosmic entity named EON, Kree warrior Mar-Vell is granted the Power Cosmic, who then undergoes a metamorphosis into a new kind of being (like I said, heady stuff). To pass his final test, Mar-Vell must turn inward and face his dark inner demon...resulting in a battle of equal parts raw power and soul-searching psychology.

A raw power and soul-searching psychology
that may even surpass that of....Bahlactus!

The Forgotten Shame of Galactus

You know those embarrassing photos of yourself when you were younger?  Between the goofy haircuts and the dorky clothes, you just can't hide those old photo albums fast enough, right? 

Well, take heart...at least you're in good company.  Even the omnipotent space-god Galactus had some blush-worthy moments in his early appearances...namely what looked to be a huge English letter "G" proudly emblazoned on his armor during his first appearance in Fantastic Four #48 (1966).  Despite the fact that Galactus originated far beyond Earth, eons before the English language (or its various letters) were devised, there he was...sporting that big purple letter G for all the cosmos to see (click on the image for a better look).

Needless to say, the "G" was gone when he returned to Earth a few years later...but not before causing old Buckethead a considerable amount of embarrassment in the years since.

UPDATE: After doing a bit more research, it turns out Galactus sported embarrassing fashions all the way up through the 1980's, including this ill-advised "Choose Life" t-shirt, popularized by WHAM's "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" music video.

Not only was the t-shirt a shameless bid by Galactus to recapture his shrinking teen demographic, but its message was also intensely hypocritical in light of his planet-devouring ways.

Not exactly the old boy's proudest moment.

And Now, A Word from Our Sponsor...

Simply the Best: The Race of the Century

Remember that question?  If you do, you'll also recall that it wasn't a question about which superhero could beat a particular supervillain, but rather which superhero could beat another superhero!  With the passion of election year politics, we'd make the case for our champion and why he'd mop the floor with the other guy's champion....all the while completely missing (or flat-out ignoring) the point that good guys aren't supposed to be fighting each other in the first place.

Although comic book publishers usually stayed above the fray, every once in awhile they'd throw us the "hero vs. hero" red meat we all craved....like here on the rip-roaring cover of Superman #199 (1967).

Cover penciled by Carmine Infantino and inked by Murphy Anderson

As it turned out, the actual race was quite a disappointment (to say the least). Instead of the grudge match suggested by the cover scene, the race was actually a chummy charity event. Worse yet, it ended in a lousy tie....completely dodging the question asked on the cover.  Needless to say, it was an early lesson for us junior consumers in sky-high hype vs. the reality (and inevitable let-downs) of the actual product.

However, despite the disappointing story, the cover remains one of my favorites for a variety of reasons:

1.  When I look at the facial expressions of Superman and the Flash, I don't see two guys running a genial charity event.  I see guys who are determined to win the title of Fastest Man Alive!

2.  The cheering "factions" of DC heroes. Though never as contentious or dysfunctional as Marvel's brood of squabbling heroes, DC began introducing a bit more conflict between their famously chummy champions of justice....as you can see from the spirited cheering sections on either side of the starting line.  Note how Batman is vigorously rooting against his long time World's Finest co-star!

3.  I've always been a sucker for covers with a black background. Black, more than any other color, demands your attention on the shelf and, in this case, helps the brightly colored costumes of Superman and Flash pop right off the page.

4.  The distorted or "forced" perspective angles of the scene, giving an almost explosive visual power to the unleashed speedsters.

5.  The "To: Mark, Carmine Infantino" signature.  Oh, wait...that's just on my copy.

Cover to Cover: "Brother, Can Ya Spare a Dime?"

 

The Hard Luck Superheroes of Skid Row

“Once upon a time you dressed so fine
You threw the bums a dime in your prime, didn't you?
People'd call, say, "Beware doll, you're bound to fall"
You thought they were all kiddin' you
You used to laugh about
Everybody that was hangin' out
Now you don't talk so loud
Now you don't seem so proud
About having to be scrounging for your next meal.

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be without a home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?”

-Bob Dylan

Ah, nothing like Dylan’s scornful ode to a fallen snob to buzz-kill the bright, shiny optimism of a New Year, is there? 

Yeah, while I don’t subscribe to that old “We’re all just two paychecks away from living on the streets, man!” canard, Dylan’s accusatory rant is certainly a sober warning to us all that stunning reversals of fortune can happen to anyone…even superheroes!  One day they’re on top of the world as the idol of millions…the next, they’re a Super-Hobo sipping soup outside a humble wooden shack on the cover of Action Comics #337 (1966).

Friday Night Fights: Let's Play Wac-A-Skrull®

As the heroes of the Marvel universe begin to uncover a Secret Invasion by the shape-shifting Skrulls, it's as good a time as any to recall the first big event involving that treacherous alien race.

Five years before the original Star Wars blew out our brain pans, the Kree-Skrull War was a sprawling space epic written by Roy Thomas and (mostly) illustrated by Neal Adams. Against this cosmic backdrop, it's revealed that the android Avenger named The Vision had romantic feelings toward his human teammate the Scarlet Witch, who had recently been captured by the Super Skrull and taken to the Skrull Throneworld. During a spectacular space battle, the Vision learned the fate of the Scarlet Witch, which caused the normally cold and logical android to pop a bolt and take matters into his own diamond-hard hands.

Few fight scenes in my memory are quite as chilling as the Vision's matter-of-fact assessment that he is, indeed, fully aware he's killing his hapless Skrull punching bag.  Click on the panels for the full effect of the face-mashing violence...the same violence that feeds the very soul of Bahlactus!

S-So...C-C-C-Cold!

As I write this, it's a soul-freezing -6º here in St. Paul, Minnesota...and that's probably as high as it's going to get. What does a Minnesotan do on a day like today? Spend as little time outside as possible, that's what (since flesh begins to freeze after only a few minutes of exposure).  Still, despite the Pluto-like conditions, I plan on heading out to see Cloverfield later today with my teenagers (I'll post a review tomorrow).

In the meantime, maybe I can try visually communicating at least a bit of the stifling cold-induced claustrophobia here in the Upper Midwest with the cover of Justice League Adventures #12 (2002).

Like the Justice League, my fellow Minnesotans and I are trapped in the icy grip of The Cold Warriors. For those of you unfamiliar with DC's Cadre of Cold, from left to right:  The Icicle, Captain Cold, Mr. Freeze, Minister Blizzard, Polar Lord, Cryonic Man, Killer Frost, and Snowman (the really big guy).

Geez...where's the Human Torch, Heatwave,
Sun Boy, Firelord, and Sunfire when you need 'em?

Sub-Plot Interruptus

One of the fun aspects of superhero comics has always been the "shared universe" concept of different heroes existing in the same world, with stories from one title acknowledged in or even affecting the stories other titles.

Most of the time this intertwined hero community works smoothly...but sometimes...well, the phrase "the best laid plans of mice and men often go astray" comes to mind.  Occasionally, for whatever reason, writers and editors of different titles get their wires crossed, resulting in some endearingly goofy glitches in continuity.

I came across a great example of this yesterday, as I read through a 1972 issue of Iron-Man I picked up on Friday.  The story opens with Iron-Man near defeat at the hands of a robot sent by a mysterious manipulator named Mr. Kline, who's scheming from the shadows had become an ongoing sub-plot in the title.  After the robot is defeated by Iron-Man, Mr. Kline himself is shown brooding in a darkened control room somewhere, continuing to plot the downfall of Iron-Man.  One problem, though.  Check out the editor's note on the bottom of the panel (from Stan the Man himself!):

Well, then....I guess that's the end of this particular sub-plot, huh? Obviously, someone dropped the ball on the Mr. Kline resolution and, instead of coming up with some kind of elaborate explanation, Stan simply declared the guy dead and moved on.

Mr. Kline...we hardly knew ye!

Worst. Cover. Ever (Part 16)

With few exceptions, the decade of the 1990's was a major low point for superhero comics.  A flood of sub-par titles, gimmicky "enhanced" covers, insufferable hotshot creators, and nonsensical storylines all contributed to the growing consensus that things had gone horribly off track.  Perfectly embodying this dreadful era was the cover of Fantastic Four #375 (1993), an "anniversary spectacular" that was far from spectacular. 

This one's got it all: 

1.  The headache-inducing prismatic foil cover stock.

2.  Impossibly large guns for super-powered characters that really don't need to use them.

3.  The ubiquitous 90's leather jackets/vests with multiple pockets/pouches.

4.  The nonsensical sight of the Human Torch wearing a leather jacket.  What...is he cold?  Is the ability to burst into flame and fly not quite cool enough?

5.  The Thing's ridiculous bucket-helmet, tights, white booties, and ammo belt.

6.  The desperately self-conscious and condescending "This is not your parents' comic magazine" line at the top of the cover.

Last, but most certainly not least...front and center:

7.  Sue Richards, a.k.a. "Ms. Naughty Stockings, Space Prostitute".

King Boreas vs. Vulcanis Rex

"St. Paul...is another Siberia, unfit for human habitation in the winter.”

So wrote a snotty New York Times reporter in 1885 regarding the fast-growing railroad town of St. Paul, Minnesota.  Determined to prove him wrong, city business leaders organized the first St. Paul Winter Carnival in 1886 (complete with its own Ice Palace, left), and it's remained an annual winter tradition here in St. Paul ever since! Tying the outdoor activities, contests, and parades together is a whimsical legend replete with royalty, villainy, and mythic elemental power.  In fact, it sounds a bit like something you might read about in a superhero comic book!

Here's the story: Boreas, King of the Winds, made St. Paul his earthly winter playground, but Vulcanis Rex, the fire god, who hated Boreas and his winter activities, vowed to get rid of the wind king. In commemoration of their meeting, each year King Boreas reigns supreme for ten days until Vulcan and his "krewe" come along to send Boreas and the king's Royal Guard back to Mt. Olympus.

Each year, eager local citizens are chosen to play the warring forces of Boreas and Vulcan, who then make appearances at various events and parades....clearly relishing the drama of their roles and costumes. Yes, I said "costumes"...just like in the comics.

...and the Fortress of Solitude doesn't have anything on the Ice Palace:

Today marks the opening of the 122nd St. Paul Winter Carnival.  We're still crazy to live here...but at least we're still having fun. 

Take that snotty 1885 New York Times reporter!

eBay Oddities

I've enjoyed buying and selling comics on eBay since about 1999.  Early on, I was amazed at how easy it was to track down comics I needed for my collection, with the element of competition making it all the more exciting.  Eventually I started selling some of my own comics on eBay (mostly doubles or stuff that had fallen out of favor), using the proceeds to complete other parts of my collection and nab other goodies I had my eye on.

Although I'm not nearly as active on eBay as I used to be, I still enjoy checking in from time to time for good deals. Sometimes when I'm browsing, I'll come across some curious, misguided or flat-out bizarre comic book auctions.

For example, take these three auctions I spotted
yesterday (click on the images for a larger view):

1. "RARE Barney & Betty Rubble
     comics No. 8 (early 50's)"

Wow....a rare early 50's comic book starring two of the Flintstones cast? One problem:  The Flintstones didn't debut until September of 1960.  Oh well, the seller's apparently from Australia, so the "finer points" of American pop culture are probably a little fuzzy.

2. "Brenda Starr 14 (All-Time
     CLASSIC Kamen Bondage Cover"

Umm...eeww? Bad enough there's such a thing as a "classic" bondage cover....but an "All-Time" classic bondage cover?  That would imply there are bondage cover connoisseurs out there who actually track this kind of thing.  Again I say:  Eeww.

3. "Human Fly #1-35 Cent Variant"

Yeah, yeah...I know. The 35¢ version of the cover is rare....but would somebody really be willing to pay $104.98 for the first issue of The Human Fly....one of the lamest comics of all time?  Now, if you really, really need a copy of The Human Fly #1, why not let the Bunky Brothers set you up for a mere $3.00?

Personally?  That's still $2.99 more than I'd be willing to pay.

Friday Night Fights: You Fight Like a GIRL!

Back in the early 60's, DC Comics decided to reintroduce The Justice Society of America, the characters they'd published during the World War II era (or "The Golden Age" in comic book parlance). Once most of the "A-listers" were revived, DC dusted off many of the "B-list" JSA members as well, such as Starman and Black Canary.

Teaming up in The Brave and the Bold #61 (1965), Ted (Starman) Knight and Dinah (Black Canary) Lance come out of semi-retirement to battle Starman's old foe The Mist and his band of invisible thugs! While robbing the home of the wealthy Freda Van Taller, the ghostly gang is surprised by the Black Canary, who...after making them partially visible...proceeds to mop the floor with them. Click on the panels to the left for the wince-inducing puns, punches, sassy quips, airplane spins, and furniture-shattering Judo flips of the Girl Gladiator!

BONUS BUTT-KICKING PANEL:

Okay, this panel occurs much later in the story, but the sheer spine-pulping impact of Canary's punch demands that it be seen!

Thus sayeth BAHLACTUS!

The Hightlight Reel: A Friend to Lend a Hand

What happens when you're simultaneously attacked by four of your deadliest enemies?  Well, since I don't have my own personal Rogue's Gallery, I have no idea...so I'll have to turn to Justice #5 (2006) for the answer.

Created by the team of Alex Ross, Jim Krueger, and Doug Braithwaite, Justice was a slam-bang 12-issue series featuring the Justice League against a virtual army of arch-enemies.  Using well planned and highly coordinated attacks, the villains systematically take out each member of the JLA, including the Big Guy himself: Superman!

While in his identity of Clark Kent, Superman is brutally attacked by his imperfect double Bizarro, who is soon joined by the power-sapping Parasite, savage swamp monster Solomon Grundy, and the Kryptonite-powered Metallo. With the odds so dramatically stacked against him, it would be logical for Superman to summon his fellow Justice Leaguers for help, right?  One problem:  They were being attacked, too!  So...who's left to help Superman against this powerful quartet of killers?

(click on the pages for a larger view)

Could that red and yellow blur mean that Barry (The Flash) Allen escaped his own death trap to help the Man of Steel?...and what's with the lightning bolt?  Click the link below to discover the identity of Superman's butt-kicking benefactor...

Overstreet Price Guide: 1982

While sorting through stuff in my studio, I came across an old 1982 edition of the Overstreet Comic Book Price Guide. Needless to say, comic book collecting has changed dramatically over the past 26 years (for better and for worse). Despite its high falutin' reference to comic book collectors as "panelologists", the 12th edition of the Overstreet Guide was an ambitious yet humble affair...with impressive full color cover galleries offset by hundreds of junky-looking comic shop ads. Of course, the real appeal of my first price guide was its extensive listing of just about every comic book known to man.

Just for fun, I thought I'd see what some of the most famous comic books were going for in near-mint condition back in 1982 (followed by their approximate current values in parenthesis). Many of them are shockingly affordable!

1.  Action Comics #1 (first appearance of Superman): $13,500 ($450,000)

2.  Detective Comics #27 (first appearance of Batman): $7,500 ($382,000)

3.  Marvel Comics #1 (first Human Torch & Sub-Mariner): $16,000 ($325,000)

4.  All Star Comics #3 (first JSA): $1700 ($52,000)

5.  Showcase #4 (first Silver Age Flash): $1100 ($39,000)

6.  Fantastic Four #1: $1200 ($34,000)

7.  Amazing Fantasy #15 (first Spider-Man): $1000 ($42,000)

8.  Brave & The Bold #28 (first JLA): $275 ($7,500)

9.  Avengers #4 (Re-intro of Captain America): $120 ($2,500)

10.  Incredible Hulk #181 (debut of Wolverine): $16 ($1,250)

11.  Giant Size X-Men #1 (debut of the New X-Men): $56 ($1,100)

12.  Amazing Spider-Man #129 (debut of the Punisher): $2 ($1,100)

Random Coolness: The "All Bling" Edition

Sometimes even the smallest details of superhero comics could make a big impression, which includes some of the shiny baubles and costume accoutrements the kids might classify as "bling".  Or not (I'm sure the term "bling" is now hopelessly outdated). Here's four that stand out (click on the images for larger views):

1. The Legion of Superheroes Flight Ring:  You'd think becoming a member of a 30th century club for superpowered teenagers would be cool enough, right?  Wrong!  In addition to the aforementioned cool factor, each (non-flying) member of the Legion of Superheroes would also receive their very own flight ring (which doubled as a communication device).

2.  The Phantom's Skull Ring:  Bad guys punched by the Ghost Who Walks would get an added souvenir: the impression of a skull mashed into their faces by the ring on his right hand!  Crime not only doesn't pay, but it also leaves one heck of a mark!

3.  Warlock's Soul Gem: Created in the hippie-dippy daze of 1967, the man-god known simply as "Him" evolved into a sort of counter-cultural superhero named Adam Warlock in the early 1970's.  Very much a product of the Eastern-tinged Psychedelic era, Warlock sported a "soul-jewel" (later known as the Soul Gem) on his forehead, which gave him the power to manipulate matter, devolve organisms to more primitive states, and absorb the souls of other beings into the gem's alternate reality.  Throw in a snazzy gold belt and wrist bands (not to mention that fanged skull-thing near his flared collar), and you've got yourself some major metaphysical mojo.

4.  The Eye of Agamotto: Speaking of Eastern-tinged psychedelia, one of THE coolest pieces of comic book bling has got to be The Eye of Agamotto, a magical amulet worn by Dr. Strange.  At Strange's command, the amulet opens to reveal an eerie glowing eye, which gives Strange the ability to see through illusions and disguises, invoke scenes from the past, track psychic or magical energy, project shields, open dimensional portals, or weaken evil mystical beings. Ah, but that's not all, as they say on the infomercials.  The Eye can also be used to probe minds or search other-dimensional realms, in which case the eye leaves the amulet and affixes itself to Dr. Strange's forehead...to maximal creepy/cool effect.

The Superhero/SuperBowl Connection

As yet another Superbowl weekend rolls around, it's hard to describe my apathy toward the overblown event and professional football in general. However, upon further reflection, it dawned on me that the seemingly disparate worlds of the NFL and superhero comic books actually have a surprising amount of stuff in common: