Comic Coverage

Classic Ads: Evel Obsessions

Yesterday all of us kids of the 1970's lost a mighty champion....EVEL KNIEVEL!   

Once in a great while, when ABC's Wide World of Sports wasn't covering dull bobsled races or flabby Russian power lifters, they would broadcast the insane motorcycle stunts of Knievel, inspiring countless boys (like myself) to stage our own spectacular jumps using our bikes and crude plywood ramps (I still cringe when I recall my pal Chucky hitting the jump and flipping end over end on his mom's "extra speedy" 3-speed bicycle).

Well, all of us naturally wanted the Evel Knievel action figures (not DOLLS, mind you!) and the other cool accessories (like the Scramble Van and the Sky Cycle) hyped by ads like the one above (click on the ad for a larger view).

Unfortunately, only a few of us had parents who were willing to actually buy them. You see, most moms and dads obviously didn't want to fan the flame our Evel obsessions...a flame that only encouraged more of our spectacular bike jumps (and spectacular skin abrasions), so the Evel Knievel toys weren't high on the gift priority list.

Despite never getting my own Evel Knievel action figure (or even a Robbie Knievel figure), I still have fond memories of the quirky folk hero in his goofy Elvis jumpsuits and his death-defying stunts. 

Oh, and as a little tribute, I thought I'd post a great Evel Knievel bit by comedian Brian Regan (funniest guy in the business).  Just click on the audio clip below and enjoy!

UPDATE!  Brian Disco Snell (yet another funny guy named "Brian") alerted me to a series of YouTube videos featuring the Evel Knievel toy in action.  I had to feature at least one of 'them because...well, there's no such thing as too much multimedia in a single post!

The REAL Cause of Global Warming

After perusing my copy of Superman #156 (1962), I've discovered the real cause behind global warming.  No...counter to what Al Gore and all the rest are saying, the warming of the Earth's temperatures is NOT due to human activity and industry, but to SUPER-human activity!

Let me explain.  In a story entitled "The Last Days of Superman", Superman is believed to have only 30 days to live due to his exposure to Virus-X.  In an effort to help Superman complete his list of lofty goals before his death, Supergirl enlists the help of the Legion of Superheroes and the tiny Superman Emergency Squad.

After completing a host of mighty super feats, Supergirl and the gang then travel to the vast ice fields of Antarctica (click on the panels to enlarge)...

So there you have it...the melting of the Antarctic ice cap is the fault of super-powered teenagers and six-inch tall supermen.  CASE CLOSED!

Separated at Birth?

I'm a big fan of almost everything illustrator Alex Ross paints. 

I say "almost everything" because, being an illustrator myself, I know that even the best of us can have bad days behind the drawing board...Alex Ross included!  An example that immediately comes to mind is a series of Justice League posters Ross created for DC Comics a number of years back.  Some of the character studies were spot on, while others were obviously phoned in.  One of the worst was the Supergirl poster, looking so unlike what most people would picture for Supergirl, that I have to ask...

Is this Supergirl or legendary albino blues guitarist Johnny Winter?

Attacking the Stack

You know, I'm usually pretty good about filing away my comics.

I seldom let more than a few weeks go by before finding a place for them in those familiar white boxes. Ahh, but sometimes...well, sometimes I don't quite keep up.  When I don't keep up, things can get ugly.  Really, really ugly.  Like this past weekend, for example.

First, a little background.  Prior to building our current house in 1995, I'd always kept my comic book storage boxes out in the open within my home art studio.  Not only did they take up precious space, but they were also a big eyesore.  When my wife and I were designing our home in '95, I took the opportunity to include a cute little room (well, basically a glorified closet) just off my studio that could be used exclusively for comic book storage. Using sturdy steel shelving, I've been able to expand my collection while keeping all of those bland looking boxes out of sight (not to mention climate controlled and out of the light). 

So...maintaining and growing the collection while preventing it from taking dominating the room?  Best of both worlds, right?  Well...yeah, most of the time.  When I'm on a "discipline jag", it's a great thing.  Buy comics, put 'em in bags, then into the box. Just like clockwork.  However, when an extremely busy time hits (like summer or the Christmas season) or, frankly, when my discipline runs out of gas, the comics I need to file start multiplying like rabbits.  Really affectionate rabbits.

Adding to the stack of new comics to put away are older comics that I, as an active comics blogger, occasionally remove from their boxes to reference, scan, or skim for material.  The logical thing would be to put away any comics I use for that purpose, but when I'm in the middle of gathering material for a fun post, it's easy to set them aside to put away at some nebulous future date.

Which brings us to this past weekend.  After ignoring the messy stacks of comics to file (or "CTF's") for months, I finally broke when I realized every single storage box had comics stacked on top of them...which had to be shifted out of the way to remove the box lids...which pretty much defeats the entire purpose of having storage boxes, right?

Having seen the light, I grudgingly began the time-consuming process of sorting, bagging, occasionally boarding, taping, alphabetizing, and...yes...filing away nearly four months of CTF's (both old and new).  Two hours later, as I placed the final comic book into its proper box, I vowed, "Never again will I let it come to this!"

Yeah....right!

What about you?  I don't really see this sort of mundane "housekeeping" stuff discussed in the comics blogosphere...but at the same time, every collector has to do it, right?  So, how often do you "Tackle the Stack"?  Are you a highly-disciplined soldier who files them away as soon as you're done reading them?  Do you keep them around a few weeks before they hit the white boxes...or do you just toss 'em wherever they land and deal with them "later"?  Let me know...I'd love to find out how different people handle the always daunting task of "stack management".

Dear Editor: Your Friendly Neighborhood Superman

Every neighborhood has its eccentric characters, but as a letter printed in the Metropolis Mailbag of Superman #209 (1968) proves, some neighborhood oddballs take it one step further...

So, what was the reaction of the editor? Was he happy the ersatz Superman was "spreading the word" on their flagship character? Or, conversely, did he warn young Terry to alert the Madison authorities? Nope.

Cover to Cover: Audience Appeal

Superheroes Cajole, Heckle, and Plead With Their Readers!

"Her light is growing faint, and if it goes out, that means she is dead!
Her voice is so low I can scarcely tell what she is saying.
She says - she says she thinks she could get well again if children believed in fairies!

Do you believe in fairies? Say quick that you believe!

If you believe, clap your hands!”

(from the play Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie)

This classic scene of Peter Pan enlisting the aid of his young audience is one of the most memorable examples of “breaking the fourth wall”, a theatrical concept in which characters demonstrate an awareness of their audience. From its earliest uses in nineteenth century theatre, breaking the fourth wall has been used to great effect in all forms of popular entertainment, such as radio, movies, TV and…(you guessed it) comic books.

Not surprisingly, some of the very first appeals to readers appeared during World War II, when engaging the public and stirring up their participation was a big part of life on the American home front.  A good example of this civic-minded service was the cover of Whiz Comics #56 (1944), on which Captain Marvel implored kids to buy war stamps to support the ongoing war effort.

Random Coolness

Alot of the comic book reading experience is about the "Big Stuff".  Huge drama, intense action, mindblowing revelations, ultra-twisted villains, unparalleled heroism...you know...the Big Stuff!  Although I've touted a bunch of that kind of thing in my Highlight Reel feature...I also have to say that some of the coolest things in comics are the small things that have stuck with me.  They're as varied and random as it gets, but they all have one thing in common...I think they're cool.  Off the top of my head:

1.  Before becoming the second Flash in 1956, Barry Allen was a fan of the original Flash. Of course, Barry later discovered that his comic book hero actually existed on a parallel Earth.

2.  The fireplace of Superman's Fortress of Solitude.
Click on the Barry White clip below for the full effect.

3.  The android superhero named The Vision was actually an upgraded version of the WWII era Human Torch (who, contrary to his name, was actually an android).  Recycling before recycling was cool!

4.  Tony Stark's attache' case with the secret Iron-Man armor panel.

5.  Spider-Man's web-shooters with those cool click-in cartridges.

Oh, you can be assured there will be more random coolness to come. 

What are some of your randomly cool comic book elements?

Feeling the Pinch: Comics Jump from 12¢ to 15¢

You know, for as much fun as I have at the expense of old comics, I really do have a high regard for them.  Not just for the simple pleasures of their stories, but also for the professionalism of the people behind them.  Sure, they knew their audience was largely children and teenagers, but there were times I really felt like we were respected as loyal customers whose patronage was genuinely appreciated, instead of just stupid kids who'd continue buying their product no matter what they charged.

That was never more apparent than when DC or Marvel would publicly discuss price increases with their young readers. As the more formal of the two companies, DC Comics went for the pseudo-letterhead aproach below for their sober assessment of the change from 12¢ to 15¢ comics (click on the letter for a larger view)...

It almost seems like something from a different age, doesn't it?  How quaint...a publisher grateful for my patronage? A publisher realizing that we're all feeling the pinch?  That they promise to try harder to keep our business? 

Seriously, do you think we'd ever see anything like this today?  Don't bet on it...despite the fact that the cover price of a comic book is now twenty times higher than it was in 1969, we don't get any of the charming "hat in hand" humility or gratitude you read in the above letter.

Here's my question: why should the simple courtesy and authentic gratitude on display in that letter be considered a quaint archeological find and not a continued practice?  Or are we just too sophisticated for that now?

Feeling the Pinch II: Comics Jump from 20¢ to 25¢

Yesterday I posted an old "Dear Fans" letter from the editors of DC Comics, who were practically falling on their swords over a recent bump in cover price from 12¢ to 15¢.  The post generated a pretty good response from readers, some of whom mentioned the same sort of announcements Marvel used to publish at "price increase time".  Well, I thought I'd track down one of the more dramatic "Dear Fans" letters I vaguely recalled reading once upon a time. 

Sure enough, I found it in the Marvel Comics cover-dated June of 1974.  While not as formal as DC's pseudo-letterhead I posted yesterday, this "special announcement" has underlined words....which really emphasized their anguish and concern over raising the cover prices from 20¢ to a whole quarter! Here, check it out...and feel the drama!  (you'll definitely have to click on the ad for a larger view this time around...the type is really small on the original)

Once again, it's all there: 

1.  A humble, almost embarrassed admission they had to raise prices

2.  The endearing "we're just gonna level with you" rap-session feel.

3.  An honest acknowledgment of our suspicion of Stan and Roy ("What is this, some kind of rip-off, so that Stan and Roy can vacation on the Riviera this year?")

4.  The lesson in basic economics.

5.  A promise to do better and try harder.

6.  A "we're all in this together" wrap-up.

7.  Last, but not least, a good old-fashioned Marvel sales pitch (man, nobody could peddle comics like old Jedi Stan and his young Padawan Roy).

Hey, speaking of price increases and sales pitches, there's still time to order my Still Only 25¢ t-shirts and gifts for Christmas....or any of the forty comic book and sci-fi themed designs in my Secret Identity Shop.  Check 'em out..you're bound to find something to please your inner geek.

The Highlight Reel: "Yes, Father. I Shall Become a Bat."

"Before beginning, prepare carefully."
Marcus Tullius Cicero, Ancient Roman poet and philosopher

Few things in fiction are as memorable as beginnings and endings.  In the case of superheroes, whose stories never really end, it's their beginnings that stick with us.  Of the zillions of superhero origins perma-looping through my brain, none of them are quite as powerful...or as visceral..as the origin of BATMAN.

Of course, Batman's origin story has been told and retold a hundred different times by a hundred different storytellers over the nearly seven decade history of the character.  Of those multiple iterations and creative perspectives, my absolute favorite remains Frank Miller and David Mazzucchelli's Batman: Year One (1986). Like nobody else before them (or since, for that matter) Miller and Mazzucchelli brought a real cinematic gravitas and grandeur to an origin story story that had traditionally been presented as brisk four or five panel flashbacks. Basically as an afterthought. Now, for the first time (at least in my experience), Bruce Wayne's crucial first steps as Batman were being told in "real time", providing insights and thought processes that had never really been explored in previous Batman origins.

Sharing the narrative spotlight with a young Gotham police lieutenant named James Gordon, Bruce Wayne returns to Gotham City after a dozen years of training and preparation. Following an overconfident venture into Gotham's underworld, a seriously wounded Bruce returns to Wayne Manor seeking his father's silent counsel...

(click on the pages for larger views)

Simply the Best: Let's Go to the Split Screen

Why do I love thee, Invincible Iron-Man #144 (1981)? 
Let me count the ways (from top to bottom)...

1. The upper-left corner shot of Iron-Man. Remarkably effective back in the "squeaky wire rack" days of marketing comic books (when other comics could block out most of the cover).

2. The classic Iron-Man 3D-relief logo, complete with rivets.

3. Iron-Man's eye-catching, iconic superhero pose.  Nobody in real life ever stands with their legs spread far apart with arms bent at 90º angles and clenched fists....but that's why I love old-school comics so much.  When superheroes felt strong emotions, they didn't sit around talking about it...their body language said it all!

4. The strong mirror-image symmetry of the pose earns extra Feng Shui points.

5.  The twin appeal of something new and something old, an ingenious approach when appealing to comic book fanboys.  We love the shiny new stuff (literally, in this case) as much as we love nostalgia, so this split-screen cover was a double-scoop delight.

6.  Although Tony Stark's new "deep space armor" was a major selling point, it was the sight of his original gray armor that closed the deal.  For whatever reason, I'm just crazy about that clunky old suit and every time it would show up on an issue's cover, I'd buy it.  Whether it was an origin flashback (which was the case here) or Tony Stark's "armor of last resort", I didn't care...if the original model makes the cover, I'm buying it.  Simple as that.

7.  The near-hysterical cover copy.  Even though this was the early 80's, the melodramatic style of Stan Lee's 1960's Marvel Comics was still firmly in place, with plenty of exclamation marks to go around.  From a design standpoint, I like how the crashing space station nicely leads the eye from the dramatic blurb in the upper left section down to the dramatic blurb in the lower right.

8.  As much as I love origin stories (see yesterday's blog entry), the prospect of learning "never before revealed" origin details involuntarily sends me reaching for my wallet.

9.  Outer space, machine guns, explosions and a helicopter.  Like flame to a moth for a teenage boy (when I bought it straight off the aforementioned squeaky rack).

10.  The Bob Layton artwork, so much a part of the classic (and unsurpassed) late 70's, early 80's years of Iron-Man.

Cover to Cover: Sidekicks Roasting on an Open Fire

The Terrifying Torture Tech of Timely Comics!

As we drift through the peaceful days of the Christmas season, it’s time to pour yourself a cup of hot cocoa, sit back in a cozy recliner, and watch the gently falling snow as you contemplate leering, sub-human Axis agents subjecting the assorted girl Fridays and boy sidekicks of World War II superheroes to extravagant torture devices.

That’s right…we’re taking a break from decking the halls to examine the gruesome torture chambers that were a common fixture of World War II comic book covers, particularly those of Marvel predecessor Timely Comics.  As everyone knows, the United States focused its full attention on beating the combined aggression of Nazi Germany, Imperial Japan, and Fascist Italy following our 1941 entry into WWII.  That meant that every aspect of American life was geared toward that end, including the covers of superhero comic books.  As a result, the former threats of gangsters or crooked union bosses soon made way for superheroes pounding the stuffing out of depraved (often sub-human) Axis forces and their terrifying array of death machines.

Though human decency (and possibly the Geneva Convention) prevents me from featuring every Nazi gulag gizmo or Japanese doohickey of depravity, the following covers should give you at least some idea of what our costumed champions and their hapless supporting cast members were up against.

WARNING and DISCLAIMER department:  If you’re the squeamish type or one of those sensitive souls who feel bad for Guantanamo inmates getting a little water splashed on ‘em, these covers probably aren’t for you.  Another thing to keep in mind is that I don’t in any way endorse the racial stereotyping that appeared in WWII era comics, so let’s not go there.

Now, before we get too far into the sadistic specifics, let’s first take a look at Marvel Mystery Comics #28 for the standard features of a comic book torture chamber:

A.  A Damsel and/or Sidekick in Distress.

B.  Easily identified bad guys, often broken into groups of:
     (1) Active torture participants or
     (2) A gallery of amused/perplexed/outraged observers. 
           Extra points for hoods or robes. 

C.  Conveniently labeled torture devices or harmful substances.

D.  A hero breaking in at the last possible moment to stop said
     torture devices or harmful substances.

E.  Arrogant overlord figure outraged over the hero’s intrusion.

F.  Random, poorly-aimed gunfire.

Of course, each cover varied in their use of these common features…and sometimes added variations of their own…

Superhero Christmas Cookies: A Self-Critique

As we do every year, my family and I made Christmas cookies earlier today...although this year I took a slightly different approach with my slab of cookie dough.  Instead of the usual Christmas tree, star, or snowman shapes, I thought I'd introduce a superheroic twist to the holiday goodies.

How'd it go?  Pretty well...though I've gotta say, cookie decorating is an imprecise art at best....a little like threading a needle while wearing boxing gloves.  Some of my superhero cookies worked out pretty well, while others...well...didn't.  Let's take a look at the results, accompanied by a healthy dose of self-critique (click on the cookies for a larger view):

1.  The Flash Symbol:  Simple enough, right?  Lightning bolt in a circle...no problem!  Well, that is, until the frosting tube decided to act up and blurp all over the place, making sharp corners virtually impossible.  Hindsight:  I probably should have used plain white sugar for the circle field behind the lightning bolt.  Still, I'm pretty happy with how it turned out.  Grade:  B-

2. The Superman "S" Shield:  Feeling pretty good about my Flash symbol, I thought I'd tackle the Big Enchilada. Once again, the frosting tube gave me all kinds of headaches, with the red frosting looking more like lumpy mashed potatoes than the smooth red frosting I'd envisioned.  But, despite the glitches, it looks okay.  Grade:  B

3.  The Green Lantern Symbol: After reasonable success with the Flash and Superman symbols, I was starting to get a little cocky.  "Is there NO DC superhero logo that I can't make into a cookie?"  Well, as it turned out...yes.  The Green Lantern Logo was a complete disaster.  Not only was the symbol off-center, but the unpredictable flow of the green frosting made this one a dreaded "eat it quick so nobody sees it" cookie.  Add to that the lame "green glow sugar sprinkles" around it, and I say...let's move on to number four.  Grade: F

4. The Bat Symbol:  Ahh...redemption!  After that pathetic Green Lantern symbol, the success of the Bat Symbol cookie provided me with the second wind I desperately needed to keep going.  By this point, I'd accepted the blotchiness of the frosting, so I didn't sweat the blunted ends of the wing points. 
Grade: B+

Knowing it wasn't likely I'd be able to pull off a decent Wonder Woman logo cookie, I turned my attention to the Marvel Comics side of the aisle.

5.  Iron-Man head:  Since he doesn't have a cool symbol, I went for the head shot....especially since the relative simplicity of Iron-Man's helmet lends itself well to the crude tools of the Christmas cookie trade.  Despite looking like the red portion is melting and his eyes and mouth looking like big black leeches (or turds), I think it looks okay. True, the Iron-Man movie people probably won't be offering me any merchandising deals, but hey...it looks like him.  Grade: B-

6.  Spider-Man Symbol:  Instead of the oval Spider-Man head shot, I thought taking the circular "Spider-Signal" approach would make it bit easier to attempt webbing. After connecting the first two "web strands" to the eyes, I realized I would have to pull the others back if I wanted the eyes to get the prominence they need.  Not entirely successful, but not a complete failure, either.  Grade: C

7. Thor's Hammer:  It was a toss up between Mjolnir and Thor's winged helmet...and the hammer obviously won out.  I'm not blown away by it, but I'm glad I tried it.  In hindsight, I probably should have done Captain America's shield instead. Grade: C

8.  The Thing:  At first, I thought I'd try doing the "4" in a circle logo of the Fantastic Four, but after the frustrating frosting experience with the Superman shield, I'm glad I decided against it.  The Thing was fun to make, since his head is made of such simple shapes.  The yellow-orange sugar matches his color close enough, and I thought the purple candies approximated his "ever-lovin' blue-eyed" look close enough.  A cookie even Aunt Petunia could love!  Grade: B

There you go.  Adventures in sugar cookie dough.  I hope you enjoyed looking at them as much as I did making (and eating) them.

Gold Nuggets: Deck the Halls (and Santa, too)!

The Obscure Adventures of Comics' Greatest Generation!

As nutty as things can get during the hustle and bustle of Christmas shopping, it doesn't come close to the madness experienced by Massey's Department Store customers back in Captain Marvel Adventures #19 (1943). In "The Phantom of the Department Store", Christmas shoppers were frightened away by a mysterious force that caused store merchandise to move and talk!

Young Billy Batson decided to investigate by transforming into his adult alter-ego Captain Marvel, who then went undercover as a Massey's store employee (click on the panels for a larger view).

Deducing the Phantom was using magnetism make objects move, Cap
foiled a number of his tricks before finally tracking down the shocking culprit...

OUCHIE!  After Cap drilled Pseudo-Santa into a
marble column, the mystery was finally revealed...

Atta boy, Billy!  If your Christmas wisdom wasn't enough to warm our hearts, that bland wreath hanging on the blank pink wall behind you certainly will.

Dr. Doom's SCARY SANTA Gallery!

"I am Victor Von Doom, arch-enemy of the Fantastic Four, inevitable Ruler of the World, and Despiser of All Things Christmas!

In fact, one of my greatest accomplishments is an anti-Christmas campaign I've christened "Operation Santa Scare".  You see, over the last several decades, I've planted countless department store Santas across the United States...Santas whose tattered and terrifying appearance traumatizes young children....forever scarring their perception of that obese toymaker and the insipid holiday he champions!  WhooHa Ha HAAAH!

Monitoring their efforts from my Latverian stronghold, I've assembled a small sampling of my "Scary Santa Squad" operatives for you to see in action. Look upon them, witless cattle, and DESPAIR!

1.  Ahh, yes...Agent L-77's piercing stare of zombie death!  His eyes grab your soul....and shake it to its metaphysical core!

2.  The perfect juxtaposition of innocence...and laser-focused malevolence!

3.  The whithered hands of Agent G-63 have the ability to absorb the raw fear energy from his terrorized young visitors...making him all the more powerful. 

Random Coolness (Part 2)

To paraphrase Maria from The Sound of Music, here's a few more of my favorite things from the world of superhero comics.  Whether they're big things or small things, they're all things I personally think are pretty cool.  Your mileage may vary.

1. Starting us out is something that probably got terrible gas mileage, but who the heck cares when it's as cool as the original Batmobile?  Although I'd question Batman's wisdom in giving the wheel to Robin (who couldn't have been more than 9 or 10 years old at the time), I commend his taste in highly intimidating automobile design.  If criminals weren't scared of Batman, the eerie "sunken eyes" of the giant bat head barreling toward them probably sent them shrieking for the safety of the nearest police precinct.  I also got a kick out of how the original Batmobile was always drawn using such dramatic perspective angles.  Usually at a 3/4 view, the looming bat-head and windshield area would swiftly taper back and down toward the much smaller back fenders (as you can see in the example below).  Eternally classic and forever cool.

2.  While I'm on the subject of cool vehicles, another one that easily makes the cut is the Fantastic Four's Fantasti-Car.  A vast improvement over the "flying bathtub" of their earliest adventures, the Fantasti-Car could fly as either a single unit or detach into four separate "scout" modules.  As a long-time F.F. fan, I also like how even the name "Fantasti-Car" evokes the slightly square "family feel" of the Fantastic Four.  Like any family, they've got a "family car".  The coolest one around, mind you, but a "car" nonetheless.

3.  The jaggy, heavy-duty treads on the Flash's boots. Sure, the entire costume of the so-called "Silver Age Flash" was perfectly designed for high-speed running, but it's those nifty boot treads that really make the costume for me.  Of course a guy who logs as many miles as Barry Allen (and his successors) are going to need something more rugged than the typical superhero boot...and long before Nike became a household name, Barry had the coolest "running shoes" around.

4.  Steve Ditko's mindblowing mystical landscapes from Doctor Strange.  Already far more interesting than the countless magicians that preceded the good Doctor, it was Ditko's surreal supernatural dimensions that made the early adventures of Sorcerer Supreme a singular (and vaguely unsettling) reading experience.

Speaking of "surreal", was it coincidence or something more that Doctor Strange bore a striking resemblance to a young surrealist painter named Salvador Dali? (click on the photo for a larger, more surreal view)

5.  The art-deco wonder of Superman's Secret Citadel. An early prototype of Superman's Fortress of Solitude, the Secret Citadel was located in a mountain range near Metropolis.  Originally appearing in Superman #17 (1942), the Secret Citadel later became the headquarters of the "Earth-2 Superman", a version of Superman who retained many discarded elements from the early years of the character's history (such as slightly differing origin details and "S" shield design).

If I were given the opportunity to somehow visit five fictional locations, the gleaming, golden facade of the Secret Citadel (preferably at sunset) would definitely be on the itinerary.

Oh, and I'd probably stand just like Superman while visiting it.

Profiles in Villainy: The Kingpin

a.k.a. Wilson Fisk, the 6' 7", 450 lb. master
of New York's organized crime network.

Bitter enemy of both Spider-Man and Daredevil.

Lousy department store Santa.

Kingpin © Marvel Comics

Click here for more Profiles in Villainy!

Bizarro's Toybox: I'm Dreaming of a Black Sith-mas

Last Christmas, I came across some incredibly strange toys I consigned to Bizarro's Toybox, where the abnormal is normal, bad is good, and wish list toppers like Guitar Hero 3 are nowhere to be found.  Well, this year, it looks like I'll only have time for one visit to Bizarro's Toybox, so I'll try to make it extra-special.  In fact, instead of one unusual item, how about ten?

Okay, we all know about Darth Vader, right?  Principal bad guy from the Star Wars movies (the good ones), armored Sith Lord, evil father of Luke Skywalker, and pupil of the Dark Side of the Force?  Yeah, that guy.  Well, as someone who's got Darth Vader's helmet-face mask thingie on full display in his studio, it's safe to say I'm a big fan of the character (despite George Lucas making him into such a whiny putz for the prequels).  However, my enjoyment of the character usually doesn't extend to the hundreds (thousands?) of products featuring his likeness.  Oh, I can usually find something to admire in just about any Darth Vader product...but man, some of this stuff really crosses over to the Dark Side of licensed merchandising.  How about a Top Ten countdown featuring some of the darkest? (click on the images for a larger view)

10. A toddler size Darth Vader Costume:  What better costume to dress a happy, innocent toddler in than that of a conquering Sith Lord who actually murdered small children in Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith?  No thanks...I think we'll stick with Bob the Builder or Picachu and save the Vader look for the older kids.

9. The Darth Vader Night Light: On a similar note, what sort of parental thinking process is at work (or not) when a glowing Darth Vader head is brought in to calm a child's nighttime fears? "Shhhh....go to sleep, now.  Just look at that frightening, skull-like mask, and you'll feel all safe and snuggly..."

8.  "Duck Vader" Bath Toy: Moving from bedroom trauma to bathtub trauma, who needs rubber duckies when you can scare the dirt off toddlers and pre-schoolers with this glowing, Vader-esque duckie?

"Ducky Vader, you're the one
You make bath time lots of fun
Ducky Vader, I'm awfully fond of you
Woo woo be doo!"

7.  Hey, it's Lil' Vader, a cute, stubby little Vader aimed squarely at...you guessed it...pre-schoolers!  If the masked version of Lil' Vader (left) isn't enough to make them forget their potty training, imagine what the sunken eyes and pasty skin of the unmasked version will do!

6.  The Darth Vader inflatable backpack:  Finally moving up to an older age bracket, the Vader backpack gets points for a clever design, but once again I go back to the image of Vader's head as essentially a high-tech skull.  That's when the product starts getting a little weird for me.  Yeah, yeah....that's probably the parent in me talking.

5.  Darth Vader Birthday Cake: Birthdays...a time of fun, frivolity, and celebration.  Naturally, the perfect cake for such a happy occasion is one that reminds kids that Anakin Skywalker (pictured in the upper-right corner) was horribly burned in the fires of a volcano planet, necessitating the creation of his life-preserving Darth Vader armor.  Happy Birthday!

4.  Darth Vader Piñata- Next on the Happy Sithday agenda is the Darth Vader piñata, where kids traumatized as babies by the Darth Vader night light can finally strike back at the candy-filled lapdog of Emperor Palpatine. Then again...maybe it's not filled with candy...but blackened bits of Anakin Skywalker's soul!

Whatever it's filled with, just make sure the kids are wielding lightsabers when striking at the piñata.

3.  Darth Vader Nutcracker: Play Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker Suite as you dance and twirl around the room with your very own Darth Vader Nutcracker.  Hand carved from wood by Steinbach of Germany, this limited edition piece will set you back a mere $300.

2.  Men's Darth Vader Boxer Shorts:  Which begs the question:  "Is that a protruding breath mask or are you just happy to see me?"

1.  The Darth Vader Chopper:  One of the "crown jewels" of the Bizarro Toybox collection, the crass stupidity of this product is surpassed only by its kitschy appeal and unintentional humor.  Besides, didn't the Star Wars universe have flying Speeder Bikes for motorcycle equivalents?

Had enough?  Yeah, me too.  I can only take so much of George Lucas' greed-based insanity. Let this edition of Bizarro's Toybox serve as a warning to Lucas and Star Wars fans alike:

Cover to Cover: The Island of Misfit Superheroes

Craptacular Crimefighters of Christmas Past

Remember me…King Moonracer?  No, not the 1979 James Bond film.  You know, from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer…the flying lion who ruled the Island of Misfit Toys?  Well, at least until Santa kidnapped them and pawned them off on naughty boys and girls. What…you thought he gave square-wheeled trains and Charlie-In-The-Box toys to good kids? 

Anyway, when the freakish toys abandoned me, my need to rule over rejects and losers remained strong, so I rededicated my kingdom to receive a new population of outcasts….this time housing the wretched refuse of the comic book crimefighting world.  Welcome, my friends…to the Island of Misfit Superheroes!

Some of my oldest subjects date back as far as the fabled Golden Age of Comics.  Granted, superheroes were still a relatively new concept in those days, so mistakes were bound to be made.  Ah, but when it came to guys like the Red Bee, who made his debut in Hit Comics #1 (1940), some mistakes aren’t easily forgiven.  Sporting striped leotards, chiffon sleeves and a swarm of “trained bees” (along with…no lie…a “special bee” named Michael he kept inside his belt buckle), the Red Bee wasn’t what most would consider an imposing juggernaut of justice.

MARVELS: The Celebrity Guest List

Last month, I did a piece on MARVELS, and its remarkable fidelity to some of the original source material.  Well, in addition to echoing panels from older stories, artist Alex Ross also populated his painted version of the Marvel universe with some very familiar faces.  Here are a few of the heroes and their likely celebrity references:

Namor, the Sub-Mariner / Michael Keaton:  Appearing in MARVELS #1, Namor's arched eye-brows, receding hairline, vaguely malevolent stare and puffy lips immediately reminded me of Keaton.

Professor Charles Xavier / Patrick Stewart:  Years before the first X-Men movie was filmed (or even cast), Alex Ross made it known who he envisioned for the role of the X-Men's mentor.  Obviously based on the popular star of Star Trek: The Next Generation, Ross' brilliant "cameo" of Stewart in MARVELS #2 seemed to make his future role as Professor X all but inevitable.

Tony Stark / Timothy Dalton: Another rather obvious reference, though in this case, Ross may have used this very photo of Dalton (as Prince Barin) from the movie Flash Gordon for this particular panel in MARVELS #3 (which isn't a stretch considering Flash Gordon is Ross' "favorite movie of all time"). The interesting thing about "casting" Dalton as Stark, beyond the pitch-perfect confidence of his facial expression, is that the likeness also reminds me of Tony Stark as drawn by Don Heck, Iron-Man's original penciller.

Doctor Strange / Frank Zappa:  This one's a little less obvious, but when you think about the weirdness of the early Doctor Strange stories, casting a celebrated eccentric like Zappa makes perfect sense.  Plus, that distinctive handlebar mustache is tough to overlook. The good Doctor only appeared in a large crowd scene in MARVELS #2 (the wedding of Reed Richards and Sue Storm to be precise), but the resemblance was so obvious (to me, at least) that I wanted to acknowledge it.

Reed Richards / Russell "The Professor" Johnson:  Could there be a more perfect pairing of pop cultural icons?  Reed Richards, smartest man in the Marvel Universe "portrayed" by actor Russell Johnson, the Professor from Gilligan's Island was an absolutely brilliant move.  I still remember laughing out loud when I first saw Ross' interpretation of "Professor Richards" in MARVELS #2.  Making the connection even more uncanny was the common early 60's backdrop shared by both the Fantastic Four and the Gilligan's Island TV series.

Although Russell Johnson as Reed Richards is the final, and greatest of the MARVELS "celebrity cameos", there were a few background characters that also seemed to be based on some famous faces:

Lady in Crowd / Bea Arthur:  Appearing in the crowd of an art exhibit (MARVELS #2), this gossipy socialite could only be based on actress Bea Arthur (of Maude and Golden Girls fame). I may be wrong, but that's my theory and I'm sticking to it.

Man on the Street / Popeye:  In MARVELS #1, various members of the public cheer the appearance of a new hero named "Captain America", one of which appears to be a real life "translation" of Popeye the Sailor Man.  Sure, it's only a single panel "throwaway gag", but at the same time, it's interesting that a pop cultural hero of the 1930's gives his "endorsement" of Captain America...in effect "passing the torch" to a new generation of 1940's superheroes.  Am I reading too much into it?  Probably...but that's how it works here at Comic Coverage.

Mind you, not all of my cameo appearance theories panned out.  In fact, there's one that comes to mind that turned out to be a case of "mistaken identity".  While reading MARVELS #1, I came across a panel showing a superhero leaping over the head of a young Phil Sheldon, the central character of MARVELS (click on the panel to the left for a larger view). 

As a big fan of Superman, you can imagine my surprise when I saw this dashing figure sporting a costume that looked identical to the earliest version of his costume...right down to the criss-crossing straps over plain blue boots:

However, after mentioning my "clever find" on a message board several years back, someone informed me that this wasn't Superman at all, but rather another early Marvel character named The Angel, whose costume was astonishingly close to Superman's original costume.  Oops!  Can't guess 'em all, right?

(from the cover of Marvel Mystery Comics #8, 1940)

However, with my error fully acknowledged, I could argue (and I will) that Alex Ross was being extra clever in this case.  Sure, from a legal standpoint, the figure could clearly be the Angel...but the pose lends just enough ambiguity (obscuring the Angel's distinctive chest symbol and mustache) that it functions equally well as a nod to Superman....especially since the story in MARVELS #1 deals with the dawn of superhuman beings.  What do YOU think?  Am I on to something...or am I just blinded by my obsession with Superman?

Highlight Reel: "Twenty Million Die By Fire If I Am Weak"

The mid to late 1980's was a great time to be a college-age comic book fan.  Comic book publishers, especially DC Comics, seemed to be open to a more mature, cutting-edge style of storytelling...and since I was also entering the "world of grown-ups" myself, the timing couldn't have been better. At the age when most comic book fans typically toss aside their childhood collections, this new (and much darker) brand of superhero comics kept me around and kept me interested for years to come.  One of this new breed of comics was Frank Miller's Dark Knight Returns (1986), which presented a decidedly R-rated reimagining of a retirement-age Batman and the brutal alternate future he lives in.

Unfortunately, my enjoyment of Dark Knight seems to have dimmed over the past couple of decades.  Maybe it's because Miller's cynical, borderline psychotic vision of Batman has been largely the "norm" for Batman comics ever since...which (for me) has long since worn out its welcome.   Or maybe it's because Frank Miller's creative bag of tricks has become so familiar, in some ways so cliched, that Dark Knight no longer packs the visceral punch it once did.

However, there are still a few moments within Dark Knight that manage to knock me out some two decades later. For those of you who know who my favorite character is, it shouldn't be a surprise that one of those moments involves Superman. Now, let me make it clear that, on the whole, I didn't enjoy Frank Miller's portrayal of Superman as little more than the obedient lapdog of a dimwitted U.S. President (Reagan caricature #4,578), but in this particular sequence, Miller gave the cynicism a rest and served up a memorable, truly heroic vision of the Man of Steel (click on the panels for a larger view).

Superman's New Year's Resolutions

The Great 2008 Time-Travel Contest

As the old year winds down and a new one approaches, it's natural for thoughts of the future, the past, and other concepts of time to be on our minds.  Here on New Year's Eve, more than any day of the year, the passage of time is the most keenly felt as we figuratively "step forward" from one year into the next.

Well, when it comes to the fanciful world of comic books, passing forward or even backward in time is a much more literal experience, as various heroes and villains alike are able to travel through time as casually as we might cross the street. 

With these time travelers in mind, I thought it would be fun to make the jump into 2008 with a little contest.  I've scoured the comic book time stream to find twenty four characters that have either traveled through time or can manipulate time in some way. Jot down as many names as you can, then click here to email the list to me (be sure to use their corresponding numbers). The contestant who gets all of the names correct, or gets the most names correct by 6:00 pm on Thursday, January 3rd (whichever comes first), will win a set of three magnets from my Secret Identity shop . The magnets measure just over 3" x 2" and you can choose any three designs you'd like.  I'll announce the winner on Friday, January 4th, so time to get busy!

Oh, and just as I've done with previous contests, I'll be disabling this thread's comments to make sure nobody cribs answers from other contestants.  It's all gotta come from your own brain (or Googling skills). With that said, have fun and HAPPY NEW YEAR!