Bizarro's Toybox (Part 3): ToyBiz...Masters of the Craptacular!

For over 40 years, Spider-Man toys have enjoyed overwhelming popularity with kids of all ages...and why wouldn't they?  After all, the wall-crawler's snappy humor, cool costume and amazing powers are all an imaginative child needs for hours of adventurous play.

Ah, but legendary Masters of the Craptacular Toy Biz knew better!  Why climb walls, shoot webbing and lift cars over your head when you can put out fires, hang out at the beach or shoot breathtaking safari footage...all while still wearing your Spidey costume?!!

Originally intended for the European market in 1999, the horrific "Adventure Hero" line of Spider-Man action figures eventually found its way to the shores of the United States. 

So, who needs threats like Dr. Octopus and the Green Goblin when Spider-Man could instead face the challenge of bonking a layback slide, capped off by a tight fakie?*

*Official Snowboarding Lingo