Comic Coverage

Worst. Cover. Ever. (part 7)

If it were possible, how would one improve upon a classic supervillain like The Joker?  I'll give you a hint:  Don't give him a flame-throwing banjo!

That's exactly what I.W. Publishing did in Dollman #15 (1964), with a Joker-wannabe named "The Minstrel".  Mix in a hideously drab color scheme, a layout that could put even Robin Williams to sleep, Dollman's bare legs and little red booties, and you've got yourself a prime candidate for this week's Worst Cover Ever...despite the Seal of Quality in the upper-right corner trying to convince us otherwise.

Comicland

One of my favorite old photos has to be Comicland, picturing a little guy dwarfed by hundreds of future collector's items, lost in an adventure.

Part of what I love so much about the photo is how it reminds me of my own "Comicland Moment" when I was a kid back in Duluth.  See, before comic book specialty shops and the "Hey Kids! Comics!" wire racks at 7-11, there were the old-fashioned newsstands.  I still remember visiting Downtown Book for the first time and being struck speechless by row upon row upon row of brand new comic books (easily five times the amount pictured above).  Like the lad in the photo, my friends and I basked in the glory of all those comics, unsure of whether to actually buy something or just drop to our knees and worship at the foot of the towering, cathedral-like shelves.

Of course, time rolls on and the traditional newsstands have largely become a thing of the past, replaced by comic specialty shops, mega-chain bookstores and online bookselling empires.  Don't get me wrong, these new venues have their advantages, but part of me feels just a little bit sorry for younger fans who never really had that "Comicland" newsstand experience.

Drippy nostalgia?  Maybe.  But equal parts gratitude.

 

WHO'S WHO in Your Local Comic Shop (part V)

"Reeeoowwwrrrrr!  Bat-Maaaaan!  Laser gun...peow, peow, peow!"

Ahh, nothing like the ear-splitting chaos of the Oblivious Parent's progeny to enhance your weekly comic shop visit.  Whether pawing new comics with chocolate-caked fingers, flinging action figures, or running at top speed, these tiny terrors thrive upon the non-supervision of their clueless, auto-pilot parents.

On the Flip Side: Disco Death Ray!

Place:  The back covers of DC Comics cover dated Nov. 1978.

Time:  The height of disco dancing mania!

Subject:  AAU Shuperstar vs. The Dirty Sneaker

Subtext:  American consumer culture banishes all remaining vestiges of its hippie past.

This ad from AAU SHOES, an early casualty of the sneaker wars (click on the image for a larger view), features AAU's hero-spokesmodel Shuperstar battling...well...pretty much just an icky hippie named The Dirty Sneaker.

Let's take a look at Dirty Sneaker's gameplan:

Apparently Dirty Sneaker's set to destroy the entire planet with his dirty dancing sneaker death ray (not to be confused with this). Ironically, said death ray is set to activate when the BeeGees' "Stayin' Alive" is played!  Perceptive as ever, AAU Shuperstar believes Dirty Sneaker is merely trying to horn in on the "boogie contest".

(click on the panels for a larger view)

Who's have guessed that one day we'd have to deal with real life shoe-themed terrorists, but back in 1978, it was funny to plan mass-murder with a shoe theme!  Ha ha!

(click on the panels for a larger view)

I'm not sure what's more irritating: AAU Shuperstar's garish late 70's sweatsuit or his excruciating shoe-based puns.  However, the important thing here is to note the banishment of the American youth culture's recent hippie past....powerfully symbolized by preppy, blow-dried AAU Shuperstar's well-placed kick to the Dirty Sneaker's dingy derriere.

(you know the drill)

It's not clear if AAU Shuperstar's blazing red panel of triumphant chest-thumping means that Dirty Sneaker is alive or dead....although the references to "space garbage" and "good-bye forever" indicates a darker side to Shupie's clean cut facade.

No matter...the disco kids are happy to get back to their boogie contest now that Dirty Sneaker's been banished from their midst.

Why, with a snazzy shoe like that, who wouldn't want to kick a smelly hippie into orbit?

Cover to Cover: World's Laziest: The Misspent Years of Batman & Superman

"... and I swear by the spirits of my parents to avenge their deaths by spending the rest of my life warring on all criminals."

– Young Bruce Wayne, Detective Comics #33 (1939)

With these words, the grief-stricken orphan embarked upon a grim, life-long path of retribution, honing his body and mind to battle crime as...The Batman.

That is, until he met Superman on the Golden Age covers of World's Finest Comics.

Suddenly, his mission to avenge the murder of his parents was all but forgotten, as Batman was swept up into Superman's world of frivolity and idle leisure.

Along with his young ward Robin, the Batman of World's Finest spent much of the 1940's living the good life with his pal Superman, a sort of Kryptonian Huckleberry Finn who reveled in the world's myriad lazy pleasures.

Don't believe me?  Here....let the covers speak for themselves!

Simply the Best: Avengers #122

After running the Worst Cover Ever column for a few months, I thought I'd switch gears, take the higher road and introduce a Best Cover column I'm calling Simply the Best.  I'm not doing away with WCE, but the overwhelming number of truly great covers certainly deserves some attention, so consider the cosmic scales balanced!

After attending the Minnesota Fallcon on Saturday, and netting a heaping helping of beautiful Broze Age Marvels, I've decided to kick off Simply the Best with one of my all-time favorite Avengers covers from the swingin' 70's.

Waayyy back in the summer of 1974, when I was first bitten by the radioactive comics bug, I came across a friend's copy of Avengers #122...and I still recall how much it blew me away at the time.  Heck, it still blows me away whenever I look at my own copy.  Check it out:

Pencilled by the late, great Gil Kane and inked by art god John Romita Sr., this cover literally bursts with power and "go get 'em!" excitement, crowned by Thor's stirring "Avengers Assemble" call to arms.

Some elements that jump out:

• Thor's outstretched left hand was a dramatic flare common to many Marvel covers (most likely introduced by Jack "King" Kirby himself).

• John Romita's elegant inking significantly softened Gil Kane's tendency toward harsher "anatomy lesson" musculature, preserving Kane's dynamic sense of action while giving the characters an even greater sense of "reality".  It seems unlikely with such differing styles, but these two actually made a great team in many of their collaborations, especially their long run together on The Amazing Spider-Man a few years earlier.  Romita also had a way with rendering Iron Man's armor, being one of the few artists who could actually convey that it was shiny metal Tony Stark was wearing.  Decades before fancy computer coloring technology, it was up to the inker to convey convincing surface textures and the overall mood of the scene....something a master like Romita could always deliver.

• The background scene of interior panels was also a great touch.  The grey coloring offers a great contrast to the colorful Avengers, lending their burst through the page even more power and impact. As a kid, I enjoyed trying to match the interior panels with the panels reproduced on the cover.

• The Avengers logo itself is one of the best designed logos of any era, with it's large, attention-grabbing "A" nestled right next to the stoic Vision in the upper left hand corner.  It was a logo you could see a block away in a display of hundreds of comics.  In other words, the ideal logo.

• Finally, lines like "the final battle" and "it's a fight to the finish" were exactly what the artwork needed to send the book over the top into irresistable, undeniable "must read" territory.

Come on.  Admit it.  You want to know what happens in this story, don't you?  Of course you do.

Which is exactly what qualifies a comic book cover for Simply the Best status.

WHO'S WHO in Your Local Comic Shop (part VI)

Of course, not every apathetic, multiply-pierced clerk is a goth girl...but you get the point.  Whether it's the Extensively-Tatooed Rocker Guy or Barely-Sentient Stoner variations, many of our comic shops are in need of some...how shall I say...slightly less unusual cashiers.

Sure, I get it...we're all outcasts at the comic shop, yada, yada, yada.  But come on...it's getting a little old. 

Or maybe I'm just getting old.

 

POLL: Who Should Join the Bizarro Justice League?

With Halloween just around the corner, I thought it would be fun to form our own Bizarro Justice League, with you the reader selecting the members.

Every couple of days, I'll post a new poll for potential Bizarro Justice League members.  Each poll will include poorly-costumed contestants gathered from the dregs of internet photo galleries. The contestant with the most votes by October 30th makes the team.  The final, uninspiring Bizarro Justice League lineup will be unveiled on Halloween Day! 

This week we'll be selecting Superman for the Bizarro Justice League.

If your stomach can handle it, check out the contestants below, then click HERE to vote for the WORST Superman costume (cuz on Bizarroworld, worst is best)!  Once you've voted, click the "email" option to send the poll to friends!

“Remember, Bizarro am not counting on you!”

Don't Click Here to Vote!

Cover to Cover: Frankenstein meets...EVERYBODY!

October MONSTER MASH!
The Scarier Side of Superhero Comics (part one of four)

As arguably the first work of science fiction, Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein (1818) has gone far beyond its gothic novel roots to cast a towering shadow across literature, film and the larger pop culture.  So much so, it’s probably safe to assume that nearly every living soul on the planet could identify Frankenstein or, more accurately, his monstrous creation.

Although the primary sources of the creature’s popularity are the Universal horror films starring Boris Karloff, Frankenstein’s Monster also turned up in the horror films of competing movie studios, as well as countless plays, toys, radio shows, TV shows and, of course, comic books!

POLL: Choose Bizarro Wonder Woman!

With Halloween just around the corner, I thought it would be fun to form our own Bizarro Justice League, with you the reader selecting the members.

As you may recall, I've been searching high and low (mostly low) for the world's worst superhero costumes on the internet, with the goal of assembling the ultimate tacky costume superteam. 

It's up to YOU to chose which poorly-costumed candidate best upholds the proud Bizarro tradition of imperfection.  The winners of each character group will be displayed with the rest of the Bizarro Justice League on Halloween, so vote early and vote often!

As we did a few days ago with Superman, it's now time to pick our Wonder Woman candidate for the Bizarro Justice League.  So, without further ado, your Bizarro Wonder Woman candidates!

Aren't they beautiful?  I know...it's a tough decision...but think it over and then click HERE to cast your vote.

“Remember, Bizarro am not counting on you!”

Don't Click Here to Vote

 

Simply the Best: Spectacular Spider-Man #2

I can't overstate how much I've always adored the artwork of John Romita Sr., especially his classic run on The Amazing Spider-Man with Stan Lee.  Yes, Steve Ditko was Spidey's co-creator, and his three years on the title will always be pure magic...but I personally think John Romita's run on the title represented the artistic high mark of Spider-Man that others have been trying to reach ever since.

Romita had a particular flair for illustrating dramatic, attention-grabbing covers...such as the cover to The Spectacular Spider-Man #2 (1968).

Technically, The Spectacular Spider-Man was a short-lived color magazine (in fact, this was the last issue), and not to be confused with the Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man title that would launch in 1976.

As for the cover itself, Romita's beautiful painted scene (typical of the "deluxe" status magazines enjoyed in that era) takes an already stunning illustration to a lush, almost cinematic level.

Always on the lookout for story material for their line of annuals, Marvel reprinted the 58 page interior story (minus a whopping 18 pages) in The Amazing Spider-Man Annual #9 (1973).  Romita even drew a new version of the magazine's cover, doing a good job of capturing at least a portion of the original's dramatic power (as well as adding a webline for Spidey's flailing left foot....absent from the magazine cover).

However, the magazine version remains one of comics' most enduring, mythic images....not only capturing but defining the connection between Spider-Man and the Green Goblin, his deadliest enemy.  Whether it's the passivity suggested by Spider-Man's stance (the Goblin was actually the father of his best friend, and naturally didn't want to hurt him), or the utter madness reflected in the Goblin's face, John Romita Sr. perfectly captured the central emotional conflict that defined so much of their long (and tragic) history together.

WHO'S WHO in Your Local Comic Shop (part VII)

He approaches the cash register with a tottering stack of dozens (if not hundreds) of comic books without batting an eye, while the brains of stunned fanboys whirl with calculations and estimates of his comic book feeding frenzy!  Truly, it's a devotion to comic books (and a bank account) that staggers the imagination!

POLL: Choose Bizarro Flash!

What time is it? Why, time to pick another member of the Bizarro Justice League, with the help of you the reader!

Here's the deal: I've been searching the tackiest regions of the internet for the world's worst superhero costumes, with the goal of assembling the world's ultimate band of superpowered misfits . 

It's up to YOU to chose which poorly-costumed candidate best upholds the proud Bizarro tradition of imperfection.  The winners of each character group will be displayed with the rest of the Bizarro Justice League on Halloween, so vote early and vote often!

Just as we did with Superman and Wonder Woman, it's now time to pick our Flash candidate for the Bizarro Justice League.  So, without further ado, your Bizarro Flash candidates!

Well?  What are you waiting for?  Click HERE to cast your vote for the Dorkiest Man Alive!

“Remember, Bizarro am not counting on you!”

Don't Click Here to Vote!

 

Cover to Cover: GHOSTS! The Haunted Heroes of Comics

October MONSTER MASH!
The Scarier Side of Superhero Comics (part two of four)

“When twilight everywhere released the shadows, prisoned up all day, that now closed in and gathered like mustering swarms of ghosts.”

– Charles Dickens, from The Haunted Man (1847)

Since ancient times, ghost stories have fascinated mankind.  In giving shape to their anxieties and superstitions, ghost stories have provided the world’s diverse cultures a measure of control over the unknown forces that surround them.  From the campfires and dusty scrolls of distant history to modern day television and movies, ghost stories have permeated every form of human storytelling…including comic books!

While the traditional venue for comic book ghost stories has been the horror comics genre, a fair number of ghost stories and ghostly characters have haunted the superhero genre as well, primarily those published by DC Comics (Marvel, for whatever reason, seems largely ghost-free).

POLL: Choose Bizarro Green Lantern!

In my ongoing saga to assemble a real-life Bizarro Justice League, it's up to you the reader to chose its members!

By scraping up the world's worst superhero costumes from the nasty underbelly of the internet, I've presented candidates for each member of the Bizarro Justice League, including Superman, Wonder Woman, and The Flash. The contestant in each character category with the most votes by October 30th makes the team.  Then, the final uninspiring Bizarro Justice League lineup will be unveiled on Halloween Day!

This time around, you'll be voting for your favorite Bizarro Green Lantern candidate from this inspiring band of Emerald Warriors:

"In Brightest Day-Glo and Dorkiest Tights, Click HERE to Vote for the Costume That Really Bites!"

“Remember, Bizarro am not counting on you!”

Don't Click Here to Vote!

 

MARVELous Vacation (part 1)

Through the miracle of automatic blog posting, I was actually on vacation in Orlando, Florida while the past several entries were posted.

The Minnesota public school system has a bizarre ritual called "M.E.A. break", where public schools close and teachers spend Thursday and Friday undergoing "professional enrichment" through the Minnesota Education Association (M.E.A.).  Of course, most of the teachers blow off the training and spend these days on vacation, as do their students and their families...making for an unofficial "Fall Break Vacation" all across the state of Minnesota.  This year, my wife and I decided to follow suit and plan an M.E.A. vacation with the kids, this time to Universal Studios Orlando.

Since we'd long ago done the Disney trip, and the kids now believing they were officially too hip for what Uncle Walt was peddling (to dad's dismay), Universal Orlando seemed to be the perfect destination for a family with teenaged kids.....not to mention a dad who's a hopeless comic book junkie.

Why is that?

Well, as some of you may already know, Universal Orlando is divided into two distinct parks  The first one is Universal Studios, closely modeled after the look and experience of the original California tourist trap.  The second one is the newer Islands of Adventure, featuring five separate sections, or islands, each with their own unique theme.  One of the themes (as well as my most anticipated portion of our trip) was Marvel Super Hero Island.

My first impression of Marvel Superhero Island (as well as the other themed Islands) was how much Universal was able to do within such a relatively small space.  Each Island really isn't very big, but the design and visual lines give a convincing illusion of size and space. For example, Marvel Island's biggest attraction, The Incredible Hulk Coaster, is really nowhere near as large as the world's true monster coasters, as you can see from the photo below:

However, what The Incredible Hulk Coaster lacks in size, it makes up for in sheer intensity.  It's an extremely intimidating looking ride...so intimindating, in fact, that I chickened out and let my wife (a die-hard scary ride fan) ride it solo. Really...I had hoped I would be able to give it a shot, but it just wasn't in the cards.  Whether it was the crazily screaming people riding it, or the Hulk-like roar of the coaster itself (I swear...it was actually ROARING), I skulked off like puny Bruce Banner himself. You win this round, Hulk....but I'll be BACK (maybe). 

What did my wife think?  She loved it, of course.  Click here if you'd like to check out a short video of the ride.

Well, that's it for today.  Over the next few days, I'll cover different aspects of the Marvel Super Hero Island experience, as well as some reviews of the rides I didn't wimp out on....including Dr. Doom's Fear Fall.  Stay tuned!

POLL: Choose Bizarro Batman!

This is it!  The magic moment where YOU select the final member of my real-life Bizarro Justice League...BATMAN!

As I did over the past couple of weeks with Superman, Wonder Woman, the Flash and Green Lantern, I'm trusting you, the reader, with the awesome responsibility of selecting the most atrocious Batman costume on the planet!

Whichever of the hapless contestants below gets the most votes by October 30th will become the official Bizarro Batman member of the Bizarro Justice League, whose full membership will be announced on Halloween day!

Okay...are you sitting down? Good...'cuz here they come!

Fight your overwhelming nausea and disgust and click HERE to vote for the best (worst?) Bizarro Batman!

“Remember, Bizarro am not counting on you!”

Don't Click Here to Vote!

 

MARVELous Vacation (part 2): DOOM!

In the first installment of my little Universal Orlando travelogue, I chronicled my utter cowardice in the presense of the Incredible Hulk Coaster, the crown jewel of Marvel Super Hero Island, a sub-section of Universal's Islands of Adventure theme park.

With the unfortunate Hulk incident behind us, let's get to the attraction I did manage to muster up the courage for....

DR. DOOM'S FEAR FALL!

Don't let that happy blue sky fool you...the entrance to the ride was a foreboding medieval prison, presided over by Doom's leering mug.  Jutting from the roof of the structure were two 200 ft. towers, which (according to Doom's squawking loudspeaker monologue) were part of a "diabolical device" designed to "extract every ounce of fear" from my body.

Despite Doom's threats, I thought "What Would Reed Richard's Do?" (WWRRD).  Why, meet Doom's challenge, of course....so into the castle I went...uh, along with my wife and daughter (my son wisely volunteered to stay behind and "take pictures").

Time out: If I had read the following little tidbit of information regarding Fear Fall prior to experiencing it, I might have chosen the "take pictures" route as well.

From the official Universal Orlando website:

"The initial launch at the beginning of the ride uses more thrust than a 747 jet engine and accelerates faster than the space shuttle."

Well, then.

Maybe it was for the best I didn't know I'd soon be flying faster than a space shuttle astronaut as I trudged toward Doom's fear-sucking hell machine.

After strapping ourselves into the sturdy safety harnesses, a Doom-Bot could be heard counting down to zero and then....I was suddenly in the stratosphere screaming OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD at the top of my lungs....amazing considering they were still sitting on the ground 200 feet below.

One minute, a heart attack and an overflowing Depends® later, we were released from Doom's clutches...apparently supplying him with enough fear energy to light the Latverian countryside for months to come.

Happily, the "scream like a little girl" terror of Dr. Doom's Fear Fall would soon be banished by the sheer joy of the Amazing Adventures of Spider-Man ride.

To be continued!

Cover to Cover: Hauntingly Familiar Marvel Monsters!

October MONSTER MASH!
The Scarier Side of Superhero Comics (part three of four)

Following the 1961 debut of Stan Lee and Jack Kirby’s Fantastic Four #1, a virtual army of new titles and characters sprang to life in its wake.  Now-famous names like Spider-Man, Thor and the Hulk entered the pop cultural landscape, thanks to the success of Marvel Comics’ inaugural title.

However, those particular names (and many others) have a secret history prior to the publication of Fantastic Four #1, when Marvel was known as Atlas Comics.
For most of the 1950’s, Marvel’s future superstars (such as Lee, Kirby, Steve Ditko and John Romita) toiled away on Atlas horror, romance and sci-fi titles. The sci-fi titles, such as Strange Tales and Journey Into Mystery, featured a staggering array of giant, malevolent monsters...each with its own bizarre appearance and name.

Some of the monster names demonstrated the creative flair of the proto-Bullpen, such as Fin Fang Foom (check out the green swim trunks).

…while other names suggest a “rough patch” where their creativity may have been on the wane.

 

Yet the most fascinating category of pre-Marvel monsters was the one with some startlingly familiar names.

MARVELous Vacation (part 3): The Amazing Adventures of Spider-Man!

As fun as riding Dr. Doom's Fear Fall and NOT riding the Incredible Hulk Coaster was, easily the most exciting and memorable aspect of my visit to Marvel Super Hero Island was the Amazing Adventures of Spider-Man ride.

The basics of the ride is that it's a 3D simulator that it gives you the illusion of motion and impact without actually going anywhere or getting hit by anything.  However, Universal Orlando went far above and beyond these rather basic thrills by providing a convincing, dazzling plunge into a comic book world.  The experience begins as you stroll into the offices of the Daily Bugle, where everyone's favorite blowhard J. Jonah Jameson is ranting and raving about a super villain takeover of New York City and, as usual, the Spider-Man menace. In order to get information on what's going on, Jonah is deputizing the general public to serve as Daily Bugle reporters and sending us out in tank-like "Scoop" vehicles.

Once we were secured into the Scoop vehicle with our 3D glasses in place, we were off.

SPOILER WARNING:  Anyone who's planning on checking out the Spider-Man ride in the near future, and wants to be totally surprised, you may want to avoid reading the rest of the entry.

Simply the Best: The Spectre #8

"By the power of all that's holy, I COMMAND you to buy this comic!"

Really...could anyone back in 1969 resist the power of this cover and NOT buy the comic book?

Illustrated by another one of my favorite cover artists, Nick Cardy, The Spectre #8 remains one of the most powerful, arresting cover images in my collection.

It's a deceptively simple design.  With the majority of the Spectre vaguely defined by the power burst lines, the contrasting solidity of his hand creates a neat little three dimensional effect. Paired with his snarling grimace, you can't shake the feeling that you yourself are at the business end of the Ghostly Guardian's terrible wrath. 

Further amping up the power of the image is the very limited color palette of only a few blues and greens, used with great effect to emphasize the Spectre's wide-open eyes and gritted teeth. It was somewhat gutsy to use blue for the Spectre's face, since it was actually bone-white, but as I said, the splashes of white in his eyes, teeth and around his hand-blast are so effective, it was certainly a creative risk worth taking.

Hardly overwhelmed by the illustration, the black Spectre logo surrounded by a screaming yellow outline fairly blasts off the page, leaving no doubt who's jabbing a green finger in your face.

Now...if only DC would publish a poster of this image.

There's Still Time!

Just a reminder that today is the last day to vote for your favorite Bizarro Justice League members.  To be precise, you've got until 6:00 pm CST. At that point, the polls will officialy close.

For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about (don't worry, I'm used to it), here's what's going on: I've gathered together some of the worst superhero costumes on the planet and asked my readers to vote for the costume they think is the absolute worst in each character category (i.e. Superman).  The contestant who gets the most votes will become part of my Bizarro Justice League...all of whom will be revealed tomorrow on Halloween Day! Don't miss it!

So, for those of you who'd still like a chance to vote, here are the links to all five character groups, which likewise include links to the specific character polls.

SUPERMAN

WONDER WOMAN

THE FLASH

GREEN LANTERN

BATMAN

By the way...pay no attention to this guy. He's still
sulking that I didn't include an Aquaman category.

...And The Winners Are....

Before we get to our lucky winners, I wanted to thank everyone who participated in the Bizarro Justice League polls.  It was a fun little experiment that worked out well, and I hope it was as fun for you as it was for me. In fact, I'll probably give it a shot again next year...so keep your eyes open for the worst and/or goofiest superhero costumes on the internet!

Now, without further ado, I present:

Was there ever a more inspiring gathering of heroes?

Happy Halloween!

 

Happy Halloween