Which comic book vehicles are even lamer than the ones I covered yesterday? Why, funny you should ask...
The Green Goblin's Flying Broomstick: The Green Goblin's first appearance way back in Amazing Spider-Man #14 (1964) hardly conveyed the complex master villain he would eventually become. As I touched upon in another post, the Green Goblin was initially a somewhat whimsical figure who convinced Spider-Man to star in a phony Hollywood movie. Amplifying the loopiness of the Goblin's debut was his first mode of transportation...a mechanical flying broomstick! Looking a bit like a space age butter churn, the Goblin would ride perched upon the mechanical broomstick while (miraculously) not tipping to the left or right while flying. Thankfully, the much cooler Bat Glider came along with his very next appearance...but Norman Osborn will always have that peculiar, impossibly stable flying broomstick to live down (despite his exalted status in the current Marvel Universe).
The Mountain of Judgement: I run hot and cold on the work of Jack Kirby. I absolutelyadore the work he did for Marvel as one of its "founding fathers" during the 1960's, but when he left Marvel (and Stan Lee's moderating influence) in 1970, he completely lost me with the "Fourth World" stuff he did for DC. Made up of four interlinked titles (including The New Gods and Jimmy Olsen), Kirby's cosmic opera was jam-packed with bombastic eccentricity, half-baked concepts, incoherent plots, and a cast of profoundly campy, one-dimensional characters. Putting a bow on the whole mess was Kirby's comically surreal writing style, which tended to dampen, not sharpen, the intended awe factor. When he wasn't dashing off cornball characters like Virman Vundabar, Granny Goodness or Goody Rickles, Kirby cranked out a steady stream of Way-Out Vehicles, which paradoxically seemed to get goofier and less interesting as their size and complexity grew. A good example of this whacknuttery was The Mountain of Judgement, a massive missile transport that resembled a green gargoyle having relations with an choo-choo train. Special Bonus Lame Vehicle: If you look closely, the tiny white object dwarfed by the M.O.J. was another Way-Out Kirby Vehicle known as "The Whiz Wagon". Yes...you heard me. The WHIZ WAGON.
The Black Racer's Skis: While I'm beating up on a Beloved Legend, I might as well mention another lame Kirby creation. Technically not a vehicle in the traditional wheeled or winged sense, the Black Racer's flying skis are nonetheless a method of transport....albeit an incredibly goofy one. Obviously meant to evoke the Silver Surfer character he'd created for Marvel, the Black Racer was supposedly the personification of death.
Who wore a knight helmet.
With a bright yellow cape.
The Fiddle Car: The debut of The Fiddler in All-Flash #32 (1948) also marked the first appearance of his Fiddle Car, one of the earliest (and craziest) of the customized comic book vehicles. When the original Flash was revived several years later in Flash #123 (1961), the Fiddler and his Fiddle Car came with him, along with two more villains from Jay Garrick's old Rogue's Gallery. Though I'll give points to the Fiddle Car for its forward thinking open-air design, its overwhelming camp factor (and inability to parallel park anywhere) cancels out my charitable mood.
The Supermobile: When the radiation of a red sun's explosion robbed Superman of his powers in Action #481 (1978), he built the Supermobile to simulate his lost superpowers, to protect himself from harm, and to claim the world record for the Lamest Comic Book Vehicle Ever Created.Shockingly, the Corgi toy company rolled out a die-cast version of the Supermobile shortly after its comic book debut...so you do the math!
Mercifully, this storyline (Action Comics #481-483) was the one and only appearance of the dreaded Supermobile...which was never to be seen again.
Unless you count that cameo appearance in TheAll-New Atom #8 (2007). In an alternate future where city governments are based on superheroes of the past, the forces of the Superman and Batman cities team up and invade another city using a fleet of Batwings and Supermobiles!
So there you go. The ten lamest vehicles in all of comicdom...your mileage may vary.