When it comes to children and their toys, adults should always resist applying too much grown-up logic to their innocent flights of fancy. After all, who's to say any toy is beyond the power of their imagination to thrill and entertain?
That said, I've come across some superhero vehicles that are so goofy and nonsensical that even a logic-challenged child would question their baffling existence and consign them to the dark, topsy-turvy recesses of Bizarro's Toybox!
For example, would Aquaman...water-breathing King of the Seven Seas and swimmer beyond compare really need an Aqua Sub to get around underwater?
How does a permanently enraged, 1,000 lb. gamma-irradiated giant with the intellect of a child get around? Why, by flying around in his own customized helicopter, that's how! The Hulk's sausage-sized fingers should have no problem working the copter's delicate instrument panel, or using that collection of tiny yellow tools!
Would the Flash...whose super-speed running can propel him around the planet several times a second...or even through the time barrier...really have a need for a motorcyle (albeit a really cool-looking one)?
Now let's talk Captain America...a hero who's actually been known to ride a motorcycle...wouldn't he be a logical character to get his own motorcycle toy? Not so fast (literally, in this case). As it turned out, somebody at Marx toys (lousy Commies!) stuck Cap with a put-putting Euro-weenie scooter...and a yellow one at that! Where's he going...to a coffee shop?
Following Cap's lead, Superman got his own yellow motorcycle, but with a dreadfully anti-feminist twist! See, instead of getting her own motorcycle, Wonder Woman was consigned to a mere sidecar...and to add insult to injury, a really bad orange dye job (conspicuously not matching the raven-haired images of Wonder Woman adorning the sidecar)!
The Man of Steel was also associated with another goofy superhero toy...which was quite possibly the most insane superhero vehicle ever created!
Looking a bit like a Star Wars Scout Walker/La-Z-Boy recliner hybrid (with a flip-down beauty parlor hair dryer), the Justice Jogger was billed as an "overland villain chaser" with "power stepping action". It's unknown what the Justice Jogger actually did to apprehend said villains once it caught up to them...or for that matter why an invulnerable, super-strong man who could fly, run at super speed, and shoot heat rays needed such a preposterous contraption to apprehend bad guys.
By the way, one more day to send in your entry for my White Christmas contest! Send in your guesses...and you might win a DVD of A Christmas Story!