Comic Coverage

Bizarro's Toybox: A Kinder, Gentler Hulk

Since my kids are well into their teenage years, I'm completely out of the loop when it comes to toys aimed at younger children, especially the toys of the pre-school and early grade school crowd. However, during a recent trek to Target, I decided to take a stroll through their toy section to check out the latest superhero toys. Stopping me in my tracks was Hasbro's line of Hulk toys and games. My reaction?

Two words: "What the?!..."

Here, let's run down a few of the Hulk-themed toys I ran across, which...while cute as a button, were also strange as all get-out (click on the photos for larger views)....

Marvel Super Hero Squad-Abomination and Hulk: Since the new Hulk movie is rated PG-13, these doe-eyed versions of Hulk and the Abomination are subtley cynical creations. Although the age group they're aimed at clearly aren't the movie's target audience, Hasbro (and everyone else) knows full well that boatloads of clueless parents will bring their tiny tots to the movie anyway, regardless of the PG-13 rating.

Yeah, I know...it's not the first time PG-13 movie tie-ins have been marketed to a much younger crowd, but I guess seeing a freaky character like the Abomination translated into a "Happy Lil' Fella" is pretty jarring. Plus, how many tykes can even pronounce "abomination", anyway?

Power Glow Hulk: From the sales pitch:
"The gamma radiation running in the Hulk's blood surges, giving him incredible strength! His very skin glows green from the incredible energy within, and nothing can stand up to the Hulk's gamma charged power!"

In other words, pretend you're playing with something that's emitting high levels of radiation! Wheeeee!

"Press the Hulk figure's power glow button and watch his "skin" glow green with anger!"

Dare I ask where the power glow button is located?

"Fists clenched with rage, this gritted-toothed hero means business - and he's heading for your neighborhood!"

A rage-filled, extremely radioactive man-monster is heading for our neighborhood? Pleasant dreams, kids!

Operation Hulk: Okay, what do we have going on here? Apparently Lil' Spider-Man and Lil' Iron-Man need our help "fixing" an ailing Hulk. Why a powerhouse like the Hulk would require hospitalization, or how teddy bears and butterflies penetrated his invulnerable hide isn't explained...but like the classic Operation game it's based on, there's plenty of pressure on kiddies to remove the "funatomy parts" without triggering the heart-stopping Sound Effect O' Failure.
But wait...what's that green mist that seems to be emanating from the Hulk's nether regions? Obviously some sort of gamma-charged super fart (the Holy Grail of kid humor)...silent and plenty deadly based on the skull and crossbones symbol floating inside of it!

Don't Wake Hulk: Based on "Don't Wake Daddy" (yet another heart attack-inducing game), this version features a very kid-friendly Hulk who "needs his sleep" while his superhero buddies engage in the noisy business of crime fighting. If you have to push Hulk's alarm clock one too many times, up he'll pop in a fit of rage...sending your hero straight back to the Starting Line! As we all know, a sleepy Hulk in the comics usually lead to him to transform back into Bruce Banner, but I think we can overlook that bit of Hulk lore in this instance. After all, how many kids would want to play "Don't Wake Bruce"?

Zoom-N-Go Hulk ATV 4-Wheeler: Hilarious on so many levels, Zoom-N-Go Hulk puts the "nonsense" in "nonsensical". What...riding an ATV is preferable to his 100 mile leaps? Does he stop at a gas station to fill the tank? Could this technically be considered "Off-Road Rage"? Most important, can he pop extended wheelies?

Plus, not to be too much of an old poop, but considering the surprising number of young kids that ride ATV's (especially in my part of the country), check out the responsible riding skills the sales pitch encourages:

"The Hulk smashes right through anything that gets in his way! He’s the most powerful superhero there is, so when he hits the road, everyone else better watch out! The Hulk is coming through and nothing can stop him!"

Now, get the Hulk to ride the Zoom-N-Go ATV in the upcoming movie, and I think you've pretty much guaranteed a HULK SMASH BOX-OFFICE success.

Recommended Reading: Wacky Packages!

Literally the minute I learned a Wacky Packages book was hitting stores in May, I pre-ordered a copy.

Why the uncharacteristic impulse buying?  Here's why: Although I was far too young to enjoy the 1967 debut of Topp's Wacky Packages stickers, I was the perfect age for their hugely successful revival in 1973. Featuring gross-out parodies of familiar consumer products, I can't emphasize enough how insanely popular these stickers were with my friends and I as we collected 'em, traded 'em, and (most of all) laughed at their clever humor. Well, clever to eight year-old boys, that is.

In the thirty-five years since then, "Wacky Pack" stickers have occasionally reappeared to crack-up and gross-out new generations...most recently in 2007...so with this kind of enduring popularity, a book celebrating their nostalgic nuttiness was a no-brainer addition to my bookshelf.

Well, the book finally arrived yesterday (as it turned out, the same day my copy of Kirby: King of Comics hit my mailbox), and Wacky Packages was exactly what I was hoping it would be. 

Weighing in at an impressive 240 pages, this 5" x 7" volume features all of the stickers from series one through seven (for a total of 223 Wacky Packages), many of them incredibly rare and hard to find.  Outside of a written introduction by artist Art Spiegelman and an afterward by humor writer Jay Lynch (both of whom helped create them back in the day), the pages are blessedly free of additional commentary and, instead, let the full-page Wacky Packages do all the talking.

As if large reproductions of these delightfully demented stickers weren't enough, the book has a few more pleasant surprises. The first one is the dust jacket. Printed on a paper stock with a curiously waxy texture, the jacket evokes the wax packets the original stickers were packaged in (along with those brittle slabs of bubble gum). The other nice surprise is a packet of four "lost" Wacky Package stickers that were produced but never included with the original sticker runs (perhaps because the humor was a little much for even Wacky Package standards). Throw in a handy alphabetized index and you've got yourself a thoroughly enjoyable survey of these mildly subversive classics.

Sure, there were a few negative points that bear mentioning. While the artists who illustrated the Wacky Packs were mentioned in Spiegelman's introduction, none of the sticker pages included art credits...which is kind of a shame.  I was also disappointed that the horizontally-oriented packages were printed horizontally on the page, which naturally made them smaller in appearance than the vertically-oriented packages.  Rotating the horizontal packages 90º would have allowed them to be the same size as the vertical packages, thus making the illustration details easier to see. Sure, the reader would have to rotate the book to view the rotated horizontal packages, but I wouldn't have minded performing the extra "work" to see them larger.

Still, those are some pretty minor glitches in an otherwise fantastic experience. If you're a fellow Wacky Pack fan, an aficionado of gross-out humor, or even a casual pop cultural observer (or know one), I highly recommend nabbing a copy of Wacky Packages (especially since the "lost" stickers are only included with the book's first printing).

Humble Beginnings

You know, as different and varied as our life experiences are, we all have one thing in common: profoundly embarrassing photos from our younger years! Whether it's the dorky hairstyles, goofy clothes, or some bizarre, faddish phase we went through, photographic proof of those awkward times haunts us all. In fact, even comic book characters have embarrassing aspects of their early years they'd just as soon forget...even a box-office bigshot like Iron-Man!

In between Tony Stark's original grey armor and his more familiar red and gold togs was a suit of golden armor.  Patterned after his bulky grey suit from his debut in Tales of Suspense #39 (1963), Version II (appearing in the very next issue) featured several upgrades... including a skirt-like apron! (click on the image for a larger view)

Why the apron?  It's not clear...though considering Tony's love for the ladies, perhaps the metallic skirt was designed to be extra protection for his..uh... "command center".  Whatever the reason, the apron made an already cumbersome costume design even more odd looking, not only for it's nebulous purpose, but also for it's decidedly non-metallic, almost cloth-like appearance.  Mercifully, the gold armor (and the apron) lasted only a few months, making way for the more streamlined look of Stark's red and gold armor.

Of course, Iron-Man isn't the only comic book character to harbor a secret shame from his earliest adventures...as you'll see in upcoming installments of Humble Beginnings!

Do-It-Yourself Comic Book Restoration

Comic book restoration has always been a somewhat controversial practice in the world of comic collecting.  The use of meticulous and sophisticated repair techniques can dramatically improve the appearance of lower-quality comics, but not without a hitch.  In addition to being an expensive process, all restored comics are required to be advertised as such and cannot get the same prices as high quality unrestored copies. That aside, seeing the results of these extreme makeovers are dramatic and borderline magical...as you can see from the restoration of Detective Comics #31 (1939) by Fantasy Masterpieces Paper Art Restoration (click for a larger view):

Obviously, this degree of restoration requires highly specialized tools and materials as well as years of experience.

In other words, everything I didn't have when I tried my hand at "comic book restoration" as a young lad. Blissfully ignorant of the strictures of comic book grading, I would sometimes try to "improve" the appearance of various well-read comics in my collection as only a ten year-old boy could.

For example, let's take my "self-restored" copy of Avengers #114 (1973).
No, really...this IS the restored version:

Sure, it's still pretty ratty looking, but let's take
a closer look at a few of my clever upgrades:

How does a kid solve the problem of a detached cover? 

That's easy: staples!...and plenty of 'em!  Note the proximity of comic's original staples along the spine to my additional staples a good half an inch into the cover area. Crude, sure...but the cover was re-attached, so mission accomplished, right?

Next up was the problem of the black areas, which tend to show wrinkles and scuffs much easier than lighter colors.  How could I restore those areas to their original midnight luster?  Enter the Sanford King-Size Permanent Marker!

That's right, I "restored" the glossy black by scribbling all over the cover with a highly toxic permanent marker.  To my ten year-old mind, it was indistinguishable from the luster of a brand new comic book and an official Job Well Done. Click on the close-up to the left to check out my mad magic marker skillz!

Even better, check out the black marker
seepage on the inside front cover. Classy, huh?

As the years went by, and I grew in the ways of comic book care and condition, the Sanford Permanent Marker (a.k.a. "Ol' Stinky") was retired from the comic book restoration toolbox...though I'll still re-staple my comics from time to time (with a bit more precision than I used thirty-some years ago).

How about you? Any do-it-yourself restoration stories
you can recall from your early years of collecting?

Good Ol' Ma

To all mothers, mothers-to-be, grandmothers,
step-mothers, and mother-figures:
Have a Happy Mother's Day...you deserve it!

Superboy #8 (May, 1950)

Friday Night Fights: Citizen Kane (GIL Kane, that is)

You know, it's been awhile since I've jumped into the ring of Friday Night Fights, the weekly event celebrating the smashy-clobbery stuff we superhero fans can't get enough of.

Switching things up a bit, fighting-mad space god Bahlactus has decreed that all battle scenes should be in black and white only, sorta like that cinematic masterpiece The Raging Bull.

Well, I'm more of a Citizen Kane man myself, so I thought my color-free frenzy could feature the work of the late, great Gil Kane.

As one of the most distinctive stylists in comics history, Kane (no relation to Bob) was one of the first artists I could readily identify as a kiddie comic fan. In fact, my friends and I classified him as "the nose guy" in response to his repeated "nostril canyon" close-ups of characters. Although Kane has never been one of my favorites ("distinctive" can easily become "distracting"), there WAS an aspect of his work I prefer over everybody else: Gil was the undisputed king of the Sprawling Smackdown!

As a master of foreshortening and human anatomy, Kane would super-charge characters with so much dynamic, explosive power that stray hands, feet, or elbows would routinely extend into adjoining panels. Punches were never the stiff, Rockem-Sockem pokes of lesser artists, but thunderous blows that sent the target sprawling head over heels at a steep backwards angle.

Assembled as a montage of panels from Marvel Team-Up #16 (1973), Comic Coverage proudly presents the flashing fisticuffs of Spider-Man, Captain Marvel and the evil Basilisk, as choreographed by Gil "Citizen" Kane!

(click on the scratchy Newsreel film footage for a larger view!)

Worst Cover Ever: Wide Open Spaces

As if growing up during History's Ugliest Decade wasn't bad enough, along came the mid-1970's covers of DC Comics.

Here's the deal:  For years it was a common practice for DC and Marvel Comics to use one artist as their primary cover guy.  Their reasoning was that a single art style would give their line of comics a unified look that potential readers could identify and stick with over time.

Obviously, a big assignment like that required artists with speed, a superior sense of design, and a flair for dramatic imagery.  Hitting all three of these requirements were guys like Neal Adams, Jack Kirby, Carmine Infantino, John Romita Sr., Ross Andru, Gil Kane, and Nick Cardy...all of whom enjoyed long, successful and very memorable stints as cover artists.

Okay, back to the 70's.  Starting about 1975, that decade's stifling mediocrity managed to worm its way onto the covers of DC Comics. During this period, DC's primary cover artist was Ernie Chan who, because of an error on his immigration papers, was forced to sign his work as "Ernie Chua" for a time. Let me make it clear that I've long appreciated Ernie Chan's artwork, primarily his inking over artists like John and Sal Buscema....but for whatever reason, whether by editorial fiat, overwork, or the black hole gravitational pull of mid-70's suckitude, his covers were some of the dullest I've ever seen. Why?  Take a look at the cover of Justice League of America #136 (1976) for a clue:

No, the good guys aren't battling bad guys in the vast nothingness of the Phantom Zone...this completely blank background was actually the norm for DC's covers at the time. Often colored vanilla white or a dreary pastel shade, these minimalistic covers provided zero context, setting, or sense of scale, so the positions and proportions of characters were a confusing jumble of imagery.

For example, is Dr. Light (the guy shooting at Hawkman) standing on the ground or flying in the air?

Is Earth-2 Robin laying on his back or jumping onto The Shade? 

Since the Shade's left foot establishes the ground plane, where exactly is the Joker standing? In a hole?

Is that Hawkman, or a Hawkman-shaped growth sticking out of Batman's left shoulder?

Note how the logos and the copy blurb along the top of the cover are all crammed together, yet there's an open space big enough to drive an SUV through above and to the right of Hawkman.

Throw in some funky foreshortening on Batman's right arm, his oddly-positioned head and the Joker's massive barrel chest, and it's safe to declare this the Worst Cover Ever (at least for this week).

Marvel Movies AHOY!

For the past several days, in seems the entire pop cultural spectrum has been buzzing about the "invincible" box office mojo of Iron-Man, the first official film of the fledgling Marvel Studios. Adding to the giddy excitement of the mammoth $100 million weekend was yesterday's perfectly-timed Q1 financial report from Marvel Entertainment, Inc.

Normally I don't get too excited about financial reports, but this one included Marvel's slate of future movie projects...complete with release dates! Now, I realize this is probably premature...and release dates can change on a whim...but I thought I'd take a look at the list and jot down a few thoughts on each movie, if anything to look back and see how prophetic (or pathetic) my musings were.

First of all, it looks like nothing from Marvel is on tap for 2009...which I can hardly complain about since the Iron-Man and Hulk movies are a mere six weeks apart here in 2008. I have to say, though...as great as it is to have two big Marvel movies coming out the same summer, I think it'll become more obvious as blockbuster season rolls on that summer of 2009 might've been a better time to release the Hulk.

However, as you'll soon see, the "double-release summer" appears to be something Marvel is sticking with for their upcoming films...so I guess we'll have to see how that strategy pans out before I get too skeptical. I suspect the Hulk movie's performance will have a strong influence on many of these tentative release dates...but for now, let's go with the schedule Marvel's provided. Leading off the list, of course, is...

Simply the Best: Around the Round Table

Normally, a cover's artistic merit alone earns it a place in my Simply the Best gallery, but sometimes even a sub-par cover design can make the cut on sheer historical importance alone. One of these major milestones was All Star Comics #3 (1940), which featured the first official meeting of the Justice Society of America. 

Prior to this issue, All Star #1 and #2 featured stories of the individual heroes, but no sign of them interacting with or even being aware of each other. This changed in the third issue, as all of these individual superheroes met as The Justice Society of America for fellowship and to recount their recent adventures. Later issues would feature them heading out on missions and solving crimes as a team, but for now, the fact that they were all in the same room together was the big news. In other words, what we had here was the world's first comic book superteam.

In fact, the Overstreet Comic Book Price Guide has long considered the JSA as "a breakthrough concept, second in importance only to the creation of the superhero".  Adding to the JSA's stature is the mystery of what could have inspired such a gathering.  Some believe it could have been an entirely original idea by writer Gardner Fox, while others point to the old myths as possible inspirations..such as the Ancient Greek myth of Jason and the Argonauts, a team of famous adventurers (most notably Heracles), each with their own special power or skill to contribute to the quest for the Golden Fleece.

Based on the distinctive circular table pictured on All Star #3, others believe the legend of King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table is the most likely precedent for the JSA:

Another possible influence (also featuring a round table) was a 1938 cover of The Shadow magazine, which pictured the mysterious pulp hero and his gang of loyal operatives gathered 'round a meeting table.

However, despite all of these plausible influences, the Justice Society of America seemed like something new. Instead of warriors, knights, or operatives following a single leader, the members of the JSA were considered equals with no single superhero as the group's primary leader or raison d'être. Considering "America" was part of the team's name, I guess their more democratic approach shouldn't come as much of a surprise, but at the same time, the importance of this new group dynamic should be recognized as something special...and the template for all the super teams that followed.

Is it a simple (bordering on crude) cover design? It certainly is, but despite the stiff, endearingly mundane staging, there's an undeniable and surreal power to the scene that's hard to describe. Is it the somewhat eerie appearance of fully-masked (thereby emotionless) characters like the Atom (far left), Sandman (next to the Atom), and Dr. Fate (with the gold helmet) at odds with their grinning teammates? Could it be the presense of the Spectre (wearing the green hood), a nearly-omnipotent living corpse sitting there as casually as a customer at Denny's? Or is it just the moon-bat crazy spectacle of all those colorful, whimsical and occasionally spooky costumes in a single setting?

Well, whatever it is, it's working for me. Oh, and to get past some of the Golden Age drawing limitations of the original, how about a recreation of the All Star Comics #3 cover by Jerry Ordway, which appeared in All-Star Squadron Annual #2 (1982):

Now, I'm not sure getting rid of the original's Big Box O' Words was a completely good thing (did we really need to see the Atom's bare legs?), but its absense does cut down on the visual clutter and crowding. The best part of it? The surreal vibe of the original scene is still very much intact.

How about you? Are there certain covers that remain your favorites despite crude or "past its prime" artwork? If so, what are they?

At The Movies: Iron-Man

There's just something about the opening night of a superhero movie I can't resist (not that I've ever tried to resist one), and Iron-Man was certainly no exception.

When I saw the Iron-Man trailer last September, I knew things looked good for the inaugural film of Marvel Studios, a conviction that grew as positive press for the movie continued to pour in.

Which brings us to opening night.  Like I said, it's hard to resist the kick-off of a superhero movie, but all the great buzz combined with my fondness for the Iron-Man character made my butt in a seat on opening night a foregone conclusion.

So, now that I've actually seen it...what's the verdict?  I'll break it down into various categories:

1. Setting: I appreciated how the ongoing Jihadist threat was woven into Iron-Man's origin (replacing the original Viet-Nam angle).  Although the "Ten Rings" terrorists are a vague reference to the Mandarin (an old ring-wielding Iron-Man villain), they're clearly the same sort of nomadic fanatics making life miserable here in the Real World.  Depressingly familiar images of flea-bitten warlords, wide-eyed followers, and videotaped hostages all pack a ready-made emotional punch and give Iron-Man an urgency and relevance other superhero films just don't share.

2. Story: Without going into spoiler-heavy detail, I loved the tight, no-nonsense storytelling. With just the right amount of information, complex personalities and relationships are communicated with a minimum of fuss. For example, instead of resorting to tedious exposition, the conflict between Tony Stark and bad guy Obadiah Stane is cleverly introduced through a series of magazine cover photos. This same economical approach infuses the entire movie, which allows Iron-Man to clip along at just the right pace.  Slower "emotional beats" elegantly balance out (and amplify) the action scenes, so nothing feels indulgent or meandering (I'm looking at YOU, Superman Returns).  At its core, it's the story of hubris transformed by tragedy into redemption through self-invention...a theme the movie never loses sight of despite the potential distractions of head spinning action scenes and generous amounts of clever humor.

3. Acting: Although the movie had solid performances all around, Robert Downey Jr. completely knocked it out of the park. In fact, his nuanced, intelligent and genuinely moving portrayal of Tony Stark was so good, I can't imagine anyone else in the role...that's how much he owned it. Unfortunately, the dominance of Downey's acting cast a bit of a shadow over the supporting performances of Gwyneth Paltrow (Pepper Potts) and Terrence Howard (Jim Rhodes).  They certainly weren't bad by any means, but their interaction with Downey seemed to amplify their weaknesses. Someone who managed to stand toe-to-toe with Downey was Jeff Bridges as Obadiah Stane, whose disarming charm made his two-faced treachery all the more shocking. 

4.  Special Effects: Part of the challenge of any science fiction movie is to give mythical technology the illusion of believability...and Iron-Man pulls it off.  From Tony Stark's awkward flying tests to the magnificent "suiting up" scene (with that awesome robot "pit crew"), the off-the-charts impossibility of super-powered armor was easy to ignore with such convincingly "real" costuming and effects. Most impressive was the near-seamless integration of computer animation with live action...making me realize they've come a long way since the first Spider-Man movie's rubbery and not terribly convincing CGI sequences. Sure, the "robotic" appearance of Iron-Man gets more of a pass from our brain's "authenticity gauge" than a non-armored figure would (I'm looking at YOU, Hulk), but still...what they accomplished in Iron-Man was about as believable as anything I've seen so far.

5.  The Directing: Special kudos to director Jon Favreau, who infused what could have been a soulless, high-tech thrill ride with humanity and grit. His inspired casting (remember, Downey was seen as a pretty risky choice in some quarters), insistence on a smart script, and the performances he coaxed from actors and sci-fi wizards alike deserve a sustained (albeit symbolic) standing ovation.

That's the long story.  The short story?  I'm rating this a full five out of five Iron-Man helmets!  Yes, it's that good.  As soon as you pick up your Free Comic Book Day comics, proceed immediately to the nearest movie theatre to see Iron-Man!